Friday, March 20, 2020

Chew Rubberbands!

I admit that I am opinionated and that I share my opinion from time to time on my blog, not anonymously, owning what I say. If you do not agree with me, you may feel free to express yourself. Just not anonymously. If you are not brave enough to own your words, then perhaps you should keep them to yourself. No one is making you read my blog.

The anonymous comment on my last post was full of hatred for "boomers". This is not the first time anonymous has commented, I just happened to catch the others and delete them. 

So, yesterday, HeWho went hunting for provisions to take us through the next couple of weeks. You might recall that he was searching for jolly ranchers and juicy fruit. Alas, the candy shelves did not yield to his desires. Can there really be that many jolly rancher addicts? Is there no other candy that will satisfy the former smoker?

The world is coming to an end!! Crafty wife to the rescue! I found a recipe for jolly ranchers. I have sugar, I have corn syrup and I have water. I have a candy thermometer, a heavy saucepan and plenty of time to stir. What I don't have is a wide array of extracts. I have lemon, but that does not appeal to the addict in this house. I even have Anise, but the mention of that flavor wrinkled his nose in distaste. 

Vanilla will be the first batch which should yield 243 pieces. "Wow!" you might say, "That will last awhile!" But you have not witnessed the man and his candy. All day long I hear the rustle of the cellophane wrappers as he indulges in his habit. I find those wrappers everywhere.

On the table by his chair, 
on the floor by his chair, 
I find those wrappers everywhere. 
In the washer and the dryer, 
clean and wet, dry and brittle, 
I find them a lot, not just a little.

The next batch will be almond. I should be nearly out of sugar by then, as well as corn syrup. This should give me time to order some jolly ranchers on line. Or more sugar, corn syrup and a variety of extracts.

As for the juicy fruit gum ..... this is where I draw the line. I am not going to attempt making gum. He can chew on some rubberbands!


Joanne Noragon said...

As I remember Jolly Ranchers, they had a sour zing that puckers you up, like a cigarette.
That boomer bastid is a bot. It pops up all over, then goes away. Like Covid, which hasn't gone away, yet.

Val said...

Homemade Jolly Ranchers? You are SO ambitious! Let us know how they go over with HeWho. He might be upset if there are no crinkly wrappers to leave around for you to pick up.

Anonymous said...

you boomers are shutting down the entire economy because you're afraid of a flu. Seriously, can you boomers kill yourselves? You are the most selfish generation to ever exist. You don't give a shit about climate change, why should we young people give a shit if you get sick and die of some virus? I HOPE the virus gets much stronger and kills you all.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Chewing rubberbands made me laugh the picture it brought to mind....................

River said...

Good idea to make your own candies, but at the rate HeWho eats them they may not last as long as you hope, so good luck ordering and getting more sugar and corn syrup. If the stores there are anything like ours, sugar is severely rationed right now. Perhaps you could contact the Jolly Ranchers company and have them send out a truck load?

luksky said...

Looks like "anonymous" struck again. I picture anonymous as overly obese, coke bottle glasses, pimples, and someone who has a hard time making friends, hence the reason he/she is spending their spare time online harassing "boomers".

claudia said...

Many years ago I used to live just a few miles from the Jolly Rancher factory. You could smell each flavor that they were making on a given day. I especially remember watermelon. I never liked the candy myself. If I am going to eat candy it will be chocolate.

Kathy G said...

Instead of chewing rubber bands, maybe you could suggest that HeWho put one around his wrist and snap it when he feels a craving coming on.