Thursday, September 30, 2021

He's Watching Me

 Getting ready for my trip south ... and constantly tripping over my husband. I know that all I really need to do is invent an errand to get him out of here.

I am sitting at my desk, phone in hand, credit card at the ready, about to make our reservations. HeWho runs errands was supposed to be on his way with my texted list of necessities. I look up to see him leaning on the counter, watching me. Thinking he wants to tell me something or ask me something, I pause before dialing. "Do you need something?" I ask. "No." he responds. "Then why are you watching me? Do you think I need help making a reservation?" Once again he answers with "no".

I hate it when he stands watching me with his full attention. It doesn't happen often, so you would think I might like being the center of his attention. But, it makes me feel like he is waiting for me to make a mistake. And I did. I screwed up my own phone number and had to correct it. I wanted to tell him I did it on purpose to see if he was paying attention, but that would be a lie.

He does this when I am driving, too. When I come home with a carload of groceries and back up to the entrance to unload. I can back up just fine. My car even has a camera to see the rear view, not to mention mirrors that I have been using all my driving life. But if he sees me coming in, he will go outside and direct me with hand signals. The car will be all askew when I finally put it in park and he will begin with a litany of things I almost hit. Why does he do this? I can back that car within mere inches of the door when left to my own devices.

When we lived in Albany, Ga, the twins were early teens and most all neighborhoods had alleys to access your driveway in the back. I would change seats with Jill and let her drive the car to our driveway and park it. It was a short distance, but she loved to do this. One particular day, both girls were in the car with me and, as usual, Jill took the drivers seat. As we approached our house, we could see HeWho is her Dad in the back washing our van. His Jeep was parked at an angle on the side where we always parked, where she had parked plenty of times.

I could feel her tension as he stopped to watch her pull in. "Mom, he's watching me, what do I do?" This makes it sound like he was the strict, unbending parent, but he was the big softie who would retract the restrictions he doled out almost immediately. I was the mean one! I knew exactly what she was feeling, so I said, "You are fine, you've done this before, just pull in next to Dad's Jeep and don't hit it."

She hit the Jeep. Why did I say that? It was like saying it went into her brain and she couldn't do anything else! The Jeep was uninjured, but the drivers door was stuck on our car. HeWho loved that stupid Jeep was yelling, "Why did you do that?" Jill was crying and trying to get out through the stuck door. Adrienne was in the back seat laughing with hysteria because I had said NOT to hit the Jeep and she hit the Jeep. Jeff was at the back door to see what the commotion was about.

I got out on the passenger side and pulled Jill through, still crying. I yelled back at my loving husband that is was my fault, that I was the one supervising and to shut up yelling at her. I sent her inside and Adrienne finally got out of the car and stood in the driveway, bent double laughing. She answered Jeff's query "Jill hit the jeep!" through spasms of laughter.

Jill and Jeff disppeared into the house and poor Adrienne became the center of attention for her angry Dad for thinking the situation was funny. It WAS funny, but I had enough sense to laugh inside where he couldn't see me. 

Later I explained to my still upset husband that this was how we learned and that I was quite certain he had done his share of mistakes while driving. Years later I could point out all the dents and dings on our vehicles that are all due to him!


Kathy G said...

I have the same issue with Hubby watching me doing things. I hate it!

Anonymous said...

:) Y'all would be great in a sitcom. Better than Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, All in the Family . . . Hopefully, not The Connors! LOL. I'm gonna miss you and HeWho.

Joanne Noragon said...

That watching for the mistake business is such a bad habit--of men!

Val said...

Hick has learned not to watch me like that. He does not like me yelling "What are YOU looking at!" Still, his presence is enough to throw me off. Like today, I forgot my phone upstairs when I descended to my dark basement lair. It was on the counter as usual, beside my 44 oz Diet Coke, but Hick was puttering around, plating up the baked beans I had made for him. I guess it's because he always requires so much attention, I forget about my own needs. I guarantee you it's not because I'm selfless and caring.

River said...

I hate people watching me too. But worse is my cat Lola, when she sits and stares at me I get all twitchy and have to get up and walk away.

ellen abbott said...

my husband has been doing all the dinner cooking for a little over a decade after I just quit. well, I've agreed to do dinner twice a week and on my nights he just bugs the hell out of me standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching me as if to make sure I know what I'm doing or that dinner will get on the table at the right time. what!! and offering unasked for advice on my dinner preparations, as if he thinks I've forgotten how to cook, or if I walk away from the kitchen because I've got 15 minutes to spare he'll be asking when do this have to go in the oven. drives me nuts.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Maybe it's a men thing