Saturday, March 20, 2021

Twilight Zone

 As the days warm up, the phone rings more often. As usual, I end the day feeling like I am in an episode of the Twilight Zone. For those of you having no idea what I am referring to .... look it up.

I can't be the only one who gets the phone calls. If so, then I must be a magnet for the uninformed and those who long to ramble on and on. I am guilty of rambling on and on myself, but that is my one and only character flaw .... right?

Just now a man called to tell me he has a 24' camper, followed by a long pause. I finally said, "Okay." wondering what a good response is to a statement of fact. He then asked if I had sites big enough for him. I answered in the affirmative and then he hit me with an onslaught of questions. Do we have bathhouses (yes), do we have anything for children to do (playground), do we have fishing (a pond), does it have any fish in it (yes, we stock it), would he need a license to fish (no, private property) .... then, "Are you familiar with Hannibal?" Immediately I wanted to say, "Lector?". I didn't. Hannibal is a city  here in Missouri that I have never been to and am not familiar with and wondered what that had to do with camping here. 

He told me he had never heard of Montgomery City and didn't now how to find our park. This made me want to ask if he was familiar with a map or Siri. I didn't. I told him how to get here from the interstate, wondering if he would then ask how to get to the interstate. I am not Siri and I do know where Hannibal is and could give pretty general directions, I figured if he didn't know how to get to the interstate, he was on his own.

Now the really weird questions start. "Do you have business?" Huh? "I mean are you busy, like now or in the future? I told him I have spaces open that would fulfill his needs. "No, I mean like, say you have 100 people, how many would be there?" Gee, I don't know, how many have campers and how many per camper would there be and why do you need to know? I didn't say that, instead I told him that we have 75 sites and asked if he required more than one. "Oh, yeah that's what I mean. So, like how many people are there now?" Like, I do not take head counts everyday and watch the comings and goings of my tenants.

I asked if he was inquiring about being crowded and he was. He then asked the cost of a night's stay. When I answered he yelled at someone in the background, "This is it!" She asked about dogs and I told them we are pet friendly and there is a dog park, soliciting more yelling between the two of them, "I found it! This is it! I told you!"

I was holding the phone away from ear, it was loud, it was so loud that HeWho can't hear heard it. Then he asked IF THE POOL AS OPEN. It is a balmy 47 degrees out there with the high expected to be in the low 50's. 

The pool is not open, the pool will be open Memorial Day weekend just like all the municipal pools in this area. The water will be freezing cold, as it always is right after filling and children will jump in and turn blue while shivering and refuse to get out, maintaining that they are NOT cold.

They are on their way, right now. My big challenge will be to try to remove myself from the check-in desk and leave HeWho to handle them. My patience was already a thin line when I woke up and it is now stretched to capacity. I am not well, I tell you!

It won't work, he always escapes check-ins and he is busy cutting a 4' X 8' pegboard in half for me. That is another story for another day!


Anonymous said...

Today's post is my laughter booster shot. LOL. Thank you. Hang in there. It could be worse. I could be on the phone with you now, laughing so hard I can't get the questions out. Be well, dear woman. It'll get better.

Waving from Texas.

Joanne Noragon said...

They will check in, go to the right spot, avoid all the boulders, follow all the rules, and not annoy you once. About the bridge in Brooklyn...sorry.

River said...

His excitement indicates he has heard good things about your place from others or maybe even read your blog and is happy to have found you. Now all he has to do is follow travel directions....

ellen abbott said...

and so it begins...

Leslie said...

I know these campers try your patience but they do make content for your blog. Your story telling of them is great.