Monday, June 16, 2014

Squatters and the Lack of Sleep

Still finding a handful of strawberries and a random spear of asparagus in my garden. Some green tomatoes on the vine, too.

The forecast yesterday was for a major storm front coming through and rain off and on through Wednesday. Pushed myself to get all the mowing done in anticipation of this. Nary a drop did fall. Forecast is all new today. Sun and heat, no, intense heat. So, no rest today after the work of yesterday. The pool will be busy and I will be confined to my desk.

Another squatter appeared in a tent Sunday morning. Way in the back, barely visible from the office. I woke He Who should be the enforcer. "We have another trespasser ....." After a couple of "huh?'s" and repeats of the statement he finally understood what I had said. "Who is it?" he asked. Really, he asked me that. "Gee, they did not fill out a registration ......... that is what identifies them as trespassers."

He just looked at me through bleary eyes, then went back to sleep. I grabbed a clipboard, paper and pen and mounted the mighty golf cart. I pulled along side the tent being careful to make the brakes squeal as I stopped. I taped a note to the vehicle. A 1997 Honda Civic with expired temporary plates. I recorded all the information and left a trail of dust behind me as I blatantly disregarded my own rules and sped away. Oops, I might have awakened them.

I finished my morning chores, got the coffee on and went back to report my findings to He Who sleeps late. I made my presentation in a crisp clear voice (avoiding the "huh?"). Brows furrowed, he asked, "Did you go down there?" No, I used my super powers. He said "Oh." And went back to sleep. I am beginning to think his ability to go to sleep is his super power.

Coffee with my favorite people was loud and raucous. We tend to be enthusiastic in the morning. He Who never joins us, preferring to sleep. No coffee for him. Diet Coke is his addiction.

I was watching the semi-hidden tent as I watched my weekenders leaving. Everyone was pulling out early in anticipation of the storm threat. I spy a lone child in the playground and know the squatters must be awake. Once again, I awaken the master of my universe to see if he might want to try his hand at enforcing. It is nearly 11 am and he decides to get up and be my back-up.

The would-be squatters have found the note taped to their vehicle and they drive up to the front. I watch from my perch behind the tinted glass. I can see them, they can't see me. The woman is driving and a man is in the passenger seat, child in back. The woman finally exits the vehicle and comes inside, two five dollar bills in her hand.

She is apologetic saying that they have stayed here before and she did not know she had to register ...... My note said "You are not registered to stay here. Please come to the office and register."  The "please" was not heartfelt. I do not recognize her as a former guest, so I take this to mean they have stayed without paying before. This time they got caught.

She offers me $10 and I tell her it costs $20 to stay, squelching the urge to tell her that this is not a swap meet where the price can be bargained. Didn't want to further confuse her, since the whole concept of paying to stay seems to have her baffled. She goes back to her car and returns with another $10, apologizing and repeating that she did not know she was supposed to register and pay .....

He Who is awake has joined me in the office at this point and decides to tell her that her plates have expired and that she needs to take care of that little problem, lest she get a ticket. I just figured that she did not know about registering her vehicle and paying for the plates. He Who is nice advises her to travel the back roads and wishes her a nice day ........ much to the annoyance of his mate.

Back outside I wave to my campers as they leave and encourage them to come stay again. One group had a birthday party for their daughter on Saturday. The grandparents camped next to them and came up a few hours after their arrival on Friday to inform me of a problem. The water is leaking on their site. Not the site they are hooked up to, but the site behind them. Their grandchild was pulling on the pipe and bending it and broke it. Both shrug and say, "you know how kids are". The two campers are leaving, one after the other and have stopped in the parking lot and the driveway, successfully stopping all the traffic behind them as they are all out looking at one of the campers. They seem to be inspecting it intensely. They final decide to pull up far enough to let others pass. The older couple wave at me and smile and I wish them a safe trip ........

Hours later a camper in the back decides to tell me that he heard them hit the water pipe as they left and that it is now leaking again. I need to cultivate better spies. He didn't call earlier because he didn't want to "tell on them", but decided to call then because the water was running. They didn't hit the water pipe. The kid must have messed with it again. He Who plumbs had done a temporary fix, wanting to wait until the campers were gone before digging (lest that 3 year old decide to fall in a hole and have to be rescued). No, they hit and demolished the post with the site number on it. Would have been nice if they had told me about the water and the damage to the post ....... and the picnic table, since they hit that, too?

See what I mean about Memorial Day setting the pace for the season? But, that is not why I am profoundly annoyed this morning. Father's Day was yesterday. I offered to cook whatever He Who is indeed a father wanted. At 8:45 last night I was cooking breakfast. Bacon, pancakes, eggs. I was very tired. Said so as we went to bed. Mentioned that I did not feel at all good because I realized I missed a dose of my BP meds. My hands were puffy and my joints were achy. But, I am always tired after a weekend of being confined to the office for 12 hours a day. I would rather dig a ditch!

At 6 freaking 30 am He Who sleeps through disasters got up because "I was just awake". He advised me to go back to sleep. Never mind the thumping of Toni Louise's tail on the mattress beside my head, or the cold nose of Cujo trying to snuffle my neck and get me up. Oscar was whining to get up, despite the fact that he was up at 1:30 to roam aimlessly in the yard searching out the perfect spot to lift his leg. Wall-E was watching. Just waiting to see if I would stay or go. He was agreeable either way. I lack the super power that would allow me to ignore my canine charges and fall back into blissful slumber. I have a feeling the day will  not improve much.


Joanne Noragon said...

I think back to my parents who made us leave our camping area "cleaner than we found it." Of course, this was the 1950's. Except, my daughter does the same. I couldn't handle this with your equanimity.

Kathy G said...

I'm sure the heat isn't helping your mood...

Val said...

Such restraint! I would have been banging on their tent flap.

joanne said...

how do you sleep at all with all those knuckleheads in the park. I would be bat sh*t crazy, or crazier. gah, you should write a book.