This Is A First ......

Just when I think I have heard everything. Just when I think there are no more surprises to be had............

Even though my morning routine was interrupted by the very early arrival of kampers who disregarded the rules set forth, I decided to be the bigger kampground hostess with the mostest. I managed to clean the restrooms and fill the Dr. Pepper machine with 6 cases of cans and keep an eye on the entrance to the park. Then I cleaned the popcorn machine and got it going while baking the cookies. I even made a few snow cones.

So, I was just settling in here at my desk for a little rest before the onslaught of those who will be leaving work a little early to check in. A man pulls up in a car with a young boy and enters the store with a sheepish grin. If I have ever seen him, I don't remember it. He says "hi" and just stands there grinning. I ask if I can help him and he says that he will be camping here this weekend and he needs to know where he can drop off his firewood. Do you have a reservation?
"No, but Drew used to work at the station with ****** and my wife is related to her brother-in-law ...." What????? I can only stare back at him, as I am at a loss for words (and that doesn't happen often). "I gotta go to work and we ain't coming til tomorrow, so I want to leave my firewood here. Where can I put it?" I am booked pretty solid, will you need a tent site or an RV site? "We want a tent site, but we need a plug in (truer words were never spoken, he was pretty ripe smelling ......... oh, sorry, he means he needs a site with electricity to plug something in. I was thinking Glade plug-ins .......) I consult my reservation book and find that I have a precious few tent sites left and ask if he would like to reserve one of them. While he ponders this, I call Drew, since, after all, they are acquainted through the in-law system of being friends with someone he had worked with briefly, and ask what I should do with a car full of firewood.

He, who should learn to have patience with his wife if he wants to have supper tonight, spoke to me in less than kindly tones and reminded me that the DNR had requested that all campgrounds discourage firewood from being brought in, due to some bug infestation. I had already relayed this information to the gentleman, who, then wanted to know who the DNR was. As tempted as I was to tell him it meant "do not resuscitate", I didn't and told him it was the Department of Natural Resources. He was confused, because firewood has nothing to do with fishing ..........
I simply told my husband to report to the office and he did. He did not know this man any more than I did. He looked at the wood and told him that we couldn't let him bring most of it in the park, but that some was okay (my man knows his trees, let me tell you).

This issue being settled,he made the reservation and paid for the first night. I told him that if he chose to put the wood on a site that I could not guarantee that it would be there when he came back. This is when he decided to call his wife. In my store. Standing in front of me. He tells her how much it is going to cost, then after a moment, tells her that they have to pay for the extra people ( a total of eight people). After a very long moment he tells her that he did tell her who he was. That was fun, being privy to the butt chewing I could tell he was receiving from his wife.


Then he tells me he wants to see the site. I give him a map and a receipt and he leaves. I spray some air freshener and think I am done. But ....... no, he is back. He thinks the site to be inferior to the one next to it. I explain that it is reserved and he tells me it is empty. By now I want to pull my hair out, but I very calmly explain how reservations work. I give him another option, in fact give him two. I only have three tent sites left. Off he goes again. I watch as he drives away. I can see the firewood in the back seat! The back bumper is very close to the ground.

He comes back and is closing his cell phone as he enters the store. He is grinning that sappy grin again as he tells me that his wife, who is friends with the brother-in-law of a person my husband once worked with, doesn't like to camp around a bunch of people. She is claustrophobic, it seems, but they might try again around the 4th of July and maybe we won't be busy then. I was happy to refund him and then fumigate my store again. I seemed to have dodged a bullet of stinkiness. But, ......... I can't help but wonder how that claustrophobia works in a tent ...........

If Your Child Has A Goatee ......

Okay, if your child has a goatee ........... he is an adult! The holiday weekend is here. I awoke bright and early with hope in my heart. I have very few sites left. I had some cancellations due to weather (which, by the way is beautiful). The weather has been wet and scary all week.

I have spent more time than I want to remember huddled in the hallway floor with my laptop and my dogs. So much so that I have decided I need a little seating area in there! Maybe a little seat that will fold into the wall like the seat the airline attendants sit in for take-off and landing. The first time in the hall I sat on the bare floor with dogs in my lap. I am a quick learner, though and thereafter I took a blanket and my laptop. The floor was hard and it was boring.

The tornadoes that touched down all around us left us with wet grounds and very little damage, so we have much to be thankful for. The temperature has vacillated wildly this week and it was down in the 40's last night. Yesterday was chilly, but it is slowly rising today and if the forecast is to be believed, we will have a lovely holiday weekend.

We, did I say we? I will have a very busy weekend. My blood pressure is now under control and my body has become familiar with the drug now and the only side effect I am having is loss of appetite. That alone is cause for celebration!! I am baking the giant chocolate chip cookies today and will be popping corn for all those arrivals this afternoon. After noon. Check-in is after noon. I repeat this to each and every reservation I take. Check-out is noon, therefore check-in is after noon. It even makes sense. I know it is not like a hotel room that must be cleaned between visitors, but if everyone decided to come in early and hang out in my very large parking lot until their site was empty, we would have a traffic problem.

So, as I am brushing my teeth and trying to decide between shorts or capris (truly a dilemma), my dogs start to bark and growl. They are pretty much used to the comings and goings of campers and only do this when they feel their territory is being threatened. Like, say, some people gaping at them through the windows, trying to see if their is anyone in my house, since it is only 8 am and the store is not open yet. They don't like that. They know their mistress is still not ready fro the public and they really don't like anyone peering into their private sanctum (their mistress is not fond of this activity, either).

So, I open the door to the people milling around the parking area. "We're early!" says the man, when I ask if I can be of assistance. I look at him blankly and ask again if I can help him (this is a skill taught to me by my sister ...... she has perfected the "I am superior to you in every way" look). He says "We are here for our spot ........... I think it is number 93." Check-in is not until noon, but I will see if your site is available. "We like to get in early." he says. I see that, but I don't open until 9 and check-out is not until noon, so it would stand to reason that check-in would not be until the people in before you have a chance to wake up and pull out. He looks at me like I have three eyes. I have apparently confused him with my reasoning. Come on in to the store and let me see which site I have assigned you (all the while hoping that they are at the wrong campground). "93, I think it is 93" he says, adding to my fantasy of them being in the wrong campground, since I don't have a site 93. Hope is dashed when I ask for the name and I see that they will be in site 68.

I checked them in, after explaining that the 18 year old son with the goatee has to be considered an adult. This does not bode well for my day as I am contemplating a second cup of coffee before I go tackle the restrooms. Yes, I deserve another cup of caffeine.

Wicked Skies

I feel lucky after last night's storm. I have been bemoaning my lack of a basement for 7 years. I like a basement, a safe little cave to crawl into. We had a basement in our house in Minnesota. When the weather forecast was iffy, we would just go sleep in the basement. Not roughing it, we had a duplicate master bedroom with a king size bed and a TV in our basement lair. All the comforts of home. Well, we did have to hike up half a flight of stairs to use the bathroom. The storm would pass through and no matter the damage, we were safe.

Not here. This building is made of cedar and has been here since the 60's. But, it is just a wood building. So, when I see the banner run across the screen on the TV, I pay attention. Yesterday, though, I discovered it was a free Showtime weekend, so I had the DVR in overdrive, taping two shows at once. I was in my own little world in my sewing room listening to an audio book. He who is addicted to talk radio was at work, so it was just me and my furry trio. I had reached a point in the dress I was sewing to cut around some decorative stitching and decided to watch TV while I did so.

There is no window to look out in the sewing room, so the first indication I had of a storm was the dark sky. Wicked dark, I should say. I looked at the clock, wondering just how long I had been sewing, but it was still early. I locked up the store and kept an eye on the clouds swirling about. The dogs were anxious and my ears started popping. Oscar set up a little mournful howl and Wall-E whined, while Emmy walked in circles. It got darker and we all sat in the hallway together as the rain came down and the thunder and lightning sounded. I could hear the wind whistling, too. It stopped after a very short time, maybe 10 minutes or less. I noticed that my pants were wet when I got up .......... dog pee. Emmy has a little bladder control issue when she is nervous.

About half an hour later, everything was bathed in a weird orange glow. It was like looking through tinted safety glasses. Did anyone else see it?

Dog Owners Beware

Such a strange weekend. Thunderstorms on Friday, with nasty gray skies. I thought it would prevent campers from showing up. I did have some cancellations, but then I started getting calls. Is the pool open? Sure, but the water is still very cold, since the nighttime temperature has still been dipping into the lower 40's. The pool people came and set up their pop-up before the rain came down again. I was cooking dinner, so, I told he who should not ever be allowed to check people in, to take care of it, since I was frying flour tortillas at his request. I mean, we are by no means full on this rainy night ....... what could he possibly screw up. It was that or have him take over in the kitchen. Either way, I have to clean up the mess .........

They had four children. And a dog .............. not on a leash. The man came in without his wallet, so he was told to go set up before the storm came and then to come pay. I had already told him the rates on the phone, so he knew that the two children would be extra. They waited until we had closed at 9 to come up and pay, so we told them to just come up and pay in the morning. Next day I look at the registration ......... Honey, where did you put the people you checked in? He told them to pick any site they liked. How many people? He doesn't know, but he thinks they have two children, maybe three. Did you charge for the extra people? He forgot to. Next time he should take over in the kitchen.

The pool people had with them a Saint Bernard puppy. Now, we all know that I love puppies and that I love Saint Bernards. I seemed to have hardened my heart of late, though, because I was lees that enchanted at the site of the puppy roaming freely inside the pool area. Signs, you say. You think I need signs? No, I need people who will read the signs. Maybe common sense would help, too. My dogs don't get to go in the pool. Would you want to take a dip in a pool with dogs? I wouldn't, unless they were my dogs. Here is your tip for the day ............ When someone tells you that your dog has to be on a leash, don't tell them that your dog is good, just put your dog on a leash. Otherwise, the crabby kamp host might ask you to leave.

It was a beautiful day, yesterday. The sun was out and the gentle breeze blew. Of course I was stuck in the office, just busy enough to keep me from accomplishing anything other than reading a book and playing on the computer. This morning the sun was shining when I opened my eyes and I was happily anticipating mowing the back yard and moving some day lilies and hostas. I was humming my favorite song. Then the sky darkened and it has been threatening to storm. So, I went to the strawberry patch to gather the berries that had ripened since Friday. I walked around the yard after filling a big mixing bowl. I was checking on the progress of the peaches and the lack of progress on my lone cherry tree ..................... and that is when I spied it. Dog poop. In my yard. Not my dogs' poop. My dogs have their own yard.

Let's see. There were many dogs here this weekend. Some poodles. They were being walked on leashes by their owners on the main trail around the kampground. Also some retrievers. Also with their owners ....... on leashes. Hmmmm ............ I wonder, could it have been the cute little Saint Bernard pup that was not on a leash??????????????

Peonies A Poppin'

This is my current "project". I have a big table that will seat 10. I don't have 10 chairs. I don't have room for 10 chairs. With this in mind I am always on the lookout for interesting chairs. He who knows everybody (he gets out more than me), happened upon this pew and got it for me. $50!! It needed work. It was a flat brown and it needs a support in the center. I sanded on and off for several days. The seat has some deep gouges and if I sanded them out would lose some of it's stability. So, I decided to do a dry brush of black paint, then top it off with polyurethane. I want a wipe clean surface for my grandchildren. I like the way it turned out. Now I just need some muscle to get it in the house .............. and some grandchildren to seat.

Winter was extreme this year. This maple did not fare well. It is alive, but looks so sad.

Kamp buddy Yvonne got this frog to grace my sewer pipe planter. I rescued the plant from the clearance section of dying WalMart plants.

My clematis is thriving. I was hoping it would spread more and cover the porch rail. I am happy to see the blooms, though.

There will be peaches. I just used the last bag of frozen fruit from last season. I am ready for some fresh fruit.

The last three days has brought three quarts of strawberries. Tonight we will have a fresh strawberry pie. I have no idea what the main course will be, but who cares!

I grow chives because I like the flowers! My hostas seemed to have tripled in size. They like the cold winter.

I lost my cherry tree. I am thinking we should chop it down and save it for Halloween decor. I have waited to cut it down because I want to replace it with another tree. Too bad the one I want is almost $300. I suppose I should wait until I find one on sale. I will, but I really want that Japanese Maple; really, really do.

I planted this peony last year. It was one of those clearance, about to die $1 plants from WalMart. I kind of half-heartedly stuck it in the ground. Just look at what I got!

Winning The Lottery Of Humiliation

With every site spoken for, I am ready for the Memorial Day weekend. The pool is full of icy cold water, perfectly PH balanced. The bath house has been scoured and is ready to deliver showers and "rest" to kampers (thanks, Patrick!). The stacks of firewood have been started. The list is ready for the monumental trip to Sam's to finish stocking the store. My internal clock is already waking me early.

Yesterday was a planting marathon for me. I shoveled new dirt and hoed old dirt and pulled a thousand weeds in my raised beds. Every muscle in my body ached last night ......... but the corn and beans and squash are in the ground. I am sporting a farmer's tan ..... proudly. It is raining now on my little patch of sustenance.

As it rains, I take a break from physical labor. Listening to the news on the Today show, I am appalled at the coverage of Arnold's indiscretion. First, the announcement of the Terminator terminating his marriage went on and on. Then came the real reason. Another woman and a child. The "concern" for his children and the "advice" is put forth. Enough already. But, reporters are relentless in hunting down this "other woman" and now her face has been plastered all over the screen. They blocked out the child's face, as if this will protect him from the scandal. Now they are all wondering what rights this child has as far as Arnold's estate goes. Did I miss something? Is he dead now?

I say let Maria handle this and leave it alone. It is not "news" and if everyone was truly concerned for his children, they would not be flashing their pictures on the screen. What he did was certainly wrong, just like so many other politicians have. I am just sick of hearing about it over and over.

I would rather see an in depth story about the man who won 2 million dollars in a lottery and still receives food stamps. I saw a little blurb about this on line. I think the media should hound him and ask some probing questions of the state officials. Seems that he is breaking no laws. He reported the winnings that is sitting in his bank account. He is allowed liquid assets and can still be eligible for assistance. Perhaps a spotlight on this story could raise a public outcry and bring to light all those who abuse the system. The gentleman was quoted as saying that you could try to make him "feel bad", but, "it won't work". Maybe his face on the TV screen would arouse some feelings of decency.

Used to be that food stamps came in a booklet of monopoly type money with perforated edges. The user had to determine the right denomination to use and then haggle with the cashier over the "change". If they had items that were not allowed, that would be another transaction that would sometimes end up with the merchandise being deleted from the order to be returned. All this while the people behind them in line watched with disgust, wondering why they didn't go get a job. Nowadays the recipient is issued a card, much like a debit card. The card will automatically determine the amount owed and the new computerized registers will determine the eligibility of the items put forth. The cashier is the only one who would know. This is good, there are people deserving of this assistance. But .......... the lottery winner, well, he could do with good dose of humiliation

Weekends Were Made For ...... Rain?

The rigs came in and the weather was sunny. The ad was in the paper for the huge garage(less) sale. Ads on the radio, too. The weather seemed to be in a mood to cooperate.

Overnight everything changed. The temperature dropped and the rain came. I watched the local news and rumor was that it would clear up, but that never really happened.

With high hopes all the merchandise came forth ............

We used the front porch in an effort to stay dry as the misty drizzle was there to stay.

Traffic was slow, painfully slow.

Inside was spirited conversation as we waited for buyers.

The garage sale was less than successful, but we all enjoyed the company of each other. Kan-Do Kampers are a hardy bunch!