....Perfect Harmony.......

If you come to my campground and enter the office you will be confronted with Coca-Cola. I have some vintage things and some not, but the latest addiction is puzzles. They are on the walls and usually one on a table still under construction. You are welcome to sit a spell and fit in a piece or two while having coffee and a chat with the witty, engaging hostess (that would be me).


I only mention this because I was thinking about that song that was so popular a few (more than a few?) years back. The whole world was holding hands and singing......... 'I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony..........' . I have a fantasy. In this fantasy I awaken all the sleepy campers and line them up. I blow my whistle for attention and then I DEMAND to know who defamed the bathrooms. When the culprit steps forward, they are given the necessities with which to correct their infraction. Then all the dog owners are put in a separate line and are treated to the same interrogation. Those who have failed to collect the gifts their pets have deposited are given WalMart bags and sent out to collect the leavings. I continue with other infractions that annoy me. Like putting appliances and all the junk you have at home and can't get rid of in my dumpster, not using my recycle barrels for plastic and aluminum, throwing candy wrappers and such on the ground ............. and the list goes on. Afterwards we all hold hands in a circle and sing the Coca-Cola song ................. I did warn you that it is a fantasy.

Bathroom Banter ..........

I have said it before ............. I hate bathroom duty. I really don't mind cleaning up after folks, been doing that most of my life. But, every year I wonder what new and amazing mess will await me when I enter that sanctuary of necessity.

One year it was the mud fight that a couple of boys had that made me crazy. I had to have a ladder to clean the mud off the ceiling. Then there were the two young men who decided the pool was too cold and that it would be fun to commandeer both ladies' and men's' showers. They turned the water on as hot as they could stand it and then would run jump into the pool, then run back to the still running hot showers. According to the camper who finally brought it to my attention this had been going on for a couple of hours. His family had been waiting to get into the showers and were tired of waiting. He didn't tell me earlier because he didn't want to "get in trouble". Yeah, I know, makes no logical sense that a grown man would "get in trouble" for telling on two teens for acting stupid. I don't know which made me madder, the boys in the showers or the man watching it happen. When I approached said young men, one was smart mouthed enough to tell me that his dad paid to be in this campground and that he could do as he pleased. I grabbed him by the ear lobe and drug him out of the ladies shower before I could stop myself. I am fortunate that his dad wasn't one to sue. They haven't ever returned and for that I am thankful.


The dilemma surrounding bathroom problems is that there is no way to know who has broken something. Can't put cameras in there. Yesterday morning I did a quick sweep and mop and fill of paper product and things looked okay. Trashcans were about 3/4 full, but I was running a little behind and had to open the store. A couple hours passed and everyone had their ice and morning necessities, so I locked the door and went to grab the trash and reline the cans. In, then out and back in the store in a matter of minutes. Not really. I entered the men's room after the requisite knock to make sure I didn't walk in on anyone. I had trouble pushing the door all the way open. The lid to the toilet tank was blocking it. Three rolls of tissue were wet on the floor and the tissue holder had been ripped from the wall. To top it all off, someone had apparently stepped in dog poop and had smeared in the floor in an effort to remove it from their foot/shoe. I saw a man and a little boy leaving the bathroom as I rounded the corner of the building. Were they the culprits? Don't know. And, if they weren't, why wouldn't the man want to alert me to the mess he walked in on? So I grab the mop and bucket again with my ever present Lysol and bleach and get to work after I put the toilet back together. As I am cleaning the mess up I am approached countless times to go open the store and I keep saying I will be there as soon as I can. Even if I had work campers this weekend, do you really think they would tackle the mess?


This morning I head to my daily dilemma and think I am prepared for whatever awaits me. I am not. There is someone in the park who is not picking up after their dog(s). Unless I see it happen and know who it is I can't do anything about it. Looked like maybe a small child's footprint on the wall...... the medium used was dog$**!. It was in the shower drain and all over the floor and various places on the walls. The light had no doubt been on all night with the door open and the place is swarming with flies, ants and mosquitoes. It was not fun, I tell you.


On to the ladies room. I smell it, but can't find it as I do my initial sweep. No dog&**! here. No, this is distinctly human in smell. I move the small trash can tucked in the corner, wedged in between the wall and toilet ........... and voila! There it is. Some one relieved themselves behind the trashcan. I am wondering not only why, but how this happened. Makes me want line all the campers up in a long row and question them one by one. I want to know who the dog owner is and who the $**! smearer is. Just a dream, I know.

Phone Etiquette ..........

I was still sipping at my too-hot-to-gulp coffee and heading out the side door to mop bathrooms when the ringing of the phone jarred loudly. I grabbed it quickly, he who is scheduled to work at his other job today is still sleeping...... It is only 6:45. I answer in a hushed tone. Kan-Do Kampground. "Umm, yeah (long pause). Do you know what time the pool opens?" Yes, I do. A really long pause, then "So, um, yeah, do you know?" Yes, I know. Another pause (I do believe they would call this a pregnant pause in a novel, but I am loathe to use the word in case it would turn into some weird prediction for the caller). Finally I take pity on the caller ...... Oh, you would like for me to tell you the time. The pool is open for day swimmers every day from 11 am until 7 pm. I could tell the term "dayswimmer" really messed with his head, but he didn't ask and thanked me before ending the call. I take my petty little pleasures whenever I have the opportunity. It is going to be a long, long day..........

The Pool Is Open!!

All is well in the world, in spite of all the mishaps and craziness that surrounds the first big weekend of the season. The only way I can describe it is to liken it to the massive house cleaning for company. You hate the thought of starting, then wonder if you will be done in time, and then are so happy when the company arrives so that you are finished .... whether you are or not.

The toe is much better today and the bruise is hardly noticeable. I am almost sorry it isn't all blue and purple and ugly with crazy swelling. It is such a good excuse to be sitting and would be a lot more believable if it were so. The pain is much more manageable today. The toe just feels tight. Guess I will no doubt have arthritis developing in that toe.....

The wicked moon was shining down on the land of Kan-Do Kamping last night.

I finally said good night to the guard frog at 9:38 last night.

The sign says it all. I skipped supper and just went to bed.

Before I called it quits, though Crazy Tom came in carrying a big box of T's! Dayglo colors. I want my shirts adorning many bodies in many places this summer.

This what the pool looked like when we started repairs. All those ugly cracks had to be repaired and patched before we could even think about painting. Ideally we would have repaired and scraped and power washed, then let it dry for 24 hours. After that we would have painted, then let that dry for 2 days, then filled it with water. Ideally.

To do so we would have to have 4 days of no rain ..... in a row. That didn't happen. The paint is not cheap and if you don't cure it, it starts chipping up in about a month. I was determined to do it right this time and not be rushed. That didn't happen. Most of the paint cured properly, but there was on problem section that refused to cooperate and we ended up filling it before the paint had even cured for 24 hours.

That wheelbarrow is full of the paint chips of previous paint jobs. I would use it to fill an area and put dirt over it, but am afraid it would eventually wash up and end up all over the landscape as little blue specks. Wonder if I could use some kind of epoxy product and fashion a unique sculpture ............. you know, like the biggest ball of string. It could be the biggest pile of pool scrapings in the state. No doubt the only one in existence. Just thinking..........

Progress started slowly. See that area in the back? The trouble spot.

We ran the fire hose out to the pool and turned it on full blast all night. We woke at frequent intervals to check on the pump and the progress of the fill. All day long yesterday young and old came in the store to ask when the pool would be full. The door opened so many times that the air conditioner worked overtime and still didn't cool the store. I finally told them I possessed no powers that would allow me to tell the future. This seemed to quiet them for a time .... or they were busy with their dinners around the campfires.......

Today at 12:05 they were allowed in the breath taking water and all was well in the world of camping! It is still busy as bag after bag of ice is purchased, along with a million candy bars. In two hours I will once again post my "no vacancy" sign and call it a night. It has been a long and prosperous day.

Check-in/Check-out

I started the day with optimism ........ really, I did.

I rushed through my morning chores (cleaning toilets) and then raced to the local grocery for fresh bread and milk and eggs for the convenience of my campers. Check out isn't until noon .............. so check-in can't occur until ...... after noon. Right? If you try to check in a hotel before check-in time what happens? So, I am carefully selecting all the items I need and my cell rings. He who loathes checking in campers and can't seem to look at my easy chart is frantic because the people I assigned to 14 can't get in because 14 hasn't left yet. Probably because it is only 11:00 and they assume they have another hour to get going............


So, now I am literally running and pushing the cart like I am trying to get to the finish line first. All I can think about is getting back to the campground to enforce my chart!! He said he had several more checking in. Several, how many is several? My mind is whirling with the many variations of mistakes that can be made with several check-ins. I finally make it to the check-out counter where exactly two lines are open. Foolishly, I choose the line with nothing on the belt. I load my merchandise onto the belt and watch as the nice lady conducts her transaction with her EBT card, then pays for the non-qualifying items and think that I am next. How silly I am. The clerk disappears into the room containing the locked up cigarettes and finally reappears with about a dozen single packs, two different brands. Then forgets that he locked his drawer when he left his post and tries to scan them several times before realizing and correcting his error. He then proceeds to scan each pack ever so slowly.


Yay, my turn. He reaches beyond the six packs of Pepsi product and scans and bags all my breads first and hands each bag to me. He looks at me quizzically as I lay each bag back on the counter and I tell him I want to put the heavier items into the cart first. He looks at me like I have grown horns and asks what he should scan next and I suggest the six-packs of sodas. I also had four 2 litre bottles of Diet Coke to satisfy he who drinks that. No longer moving slowly he scans and hands the six packs to me at lightning speed and then the Cokes. Doesn't bag them or set the to the side so that I can load the cart at a normal pace. As I lifted one bottle from his hands it slipped from my grip, at a level just below my waist and hit my foot. Actually my second and third toes of my left foot and then bounced into the air before hitting the floor. Didn't even hurt too much ....... at first. The pain hit me while I was paying and I thought I was going to hurl on the kid before I could get out of the store. I am pretty sure my third toe is broken. He who delivers picnic tables suggested I go to the ER, but, really, why bother. They don't set toes and it looks okay except for the impressive bruise creeping up my foot. I reminded he who hates check-ins that we have a park to fill today and he agreed that I didn't need medical attention.


So here I am. Have checked in a few, but the onslaught won't happen until folks get off work and muscle their way through the traffic to get here. Things could be worse. At least it was my left foot and didn't affect my driving home. I have a nice comfy chair to sit in ........... and I have my computer. All is well ..... for now.

Inside Out

The big day is here and the last minute things must get done today. Thanks to all of you for your caring comments on my headache. We do see the doctor regularly ........ in his office and not just when he camps! I have one of these headaches about twice a year and it is usually preceded by a massive amount of stress. After I finally succumb to the pain and take a day off I feel so much better ...... and energized ......


Still very busy here. We had two helpers yesterday as we race to get it all done. I did all the prep mowing around my precious fruit trees and gardens while the nice man mowed. He who gets it all done ran from one disaster to the next. Although there is still much to do today, I think we have a handle on it. I made the run to Wally World and was filled to the brim with all manner of camping necessities. I confess I did detour through the fabric department. All is 50% off and I scored a few good buys, then the clearance section of the plant department. I felt compelled to rescue some destined for the dumpster.


I raced home to relieve he who hates to check in campers. He called me twice with ridiculous camper requests to move to other sites .......... thus ruining my thought process. I came home, came straight in to change into something cooler since the temp had risen to 92. I went about the business of unloading the vehicle, pricing and stocking shelves while answering the phone that rang non-stop. I finally got to go out and get some gardening done and talked to some of my favorite campers and encountered lots of folks.


At 9:30, when we finally sat down to eat our dinner and unwind, I happened to look down to see that my shirt was on inside out. It is a very light weight little pullover that I made and is a light blue print .......... my red bra was clearly visible, too. Ooops. I am a busy woman ............. can't be bothered by little things, you know.

Wasted Day

I have been keeping a headache at bay for about 2 weeks now. I grab a couple of aspirin or Tylenol or Motrin and gulp them down with lots of caffeine. Then I convince myself that I feel okay and go on about my business. Yesterday I awoke and looked over at my exhausted sleeping husband, wondered what was on his nearly bald head and plucked a tick off. I flushed the tick and brewed the coffee and got started on the day. I read all my e-mails, then stuck a ball cap on my head and went out to gas up my mower.


We are so behind in park maintenance due to rain and "he who" is stretched way too thin. In an effort to be of more help I dragged my mower over to the sites and started mowing........mowing the entire area and not just the parts he can't get to with the big mower. I was in the sun, so after about an hour of that I switched to just mowing the tight areas in the shade. I was making fabulous progress and had rounded the curve on the first row of sites. He who was dealing with some electrical issues and I imagined how happy he would be that I had gotten so much done. That is when I hit the water on 17 and the geyser shot up into the air, drenching me and my now un-new mower.


I felt wretched that I had caused him more work instead of helping. He was a sweetheart about it........... even though he had told me not to take the mower over to the sites. He did suggest that I just go inside and stay there. I cooked his favorite meal for lunch and saw him off to work. No way, I was not staying indoors with so much that needed doing. I checked in a camper and put a sign on the door and went to deliver firewood and retrieve my mower that had been abandoned. I put the phone in the cup holder on my trusty golf cart and held the handle of my disgraced mower while driving the golf cart and pulling it. I stopped and watered gardens for special folks and then came back to the main building. The phone rang while I was still too far away to answer it and I quickly made it to my front door where I discovered I had effectively locked my self out.
Wanted to cry, but I wanted to do that in private and I was locked out.


I won't describe just how I broke into my own home, but I will say that it involved climbing through a bunch of stuff piled up by he who is a pack rat. At any rate I was able to get back in without calling for a rescue. Since it was still light outside and staring to cool down a bit I decided to plant a bevy of day lilies in a half circle around the new flagpole. The forecast was for showers overnight so I got them in the ground and wanted to mulch, but, alas, a pile of wood got dumped on my mulch pile. There wasn't much left, but......... I also planted two small red maples on the property and then called it a night. My head was starting to hurt, but I thought a shower and salad would make me feel better.


My head was pounding by the time I laid it on my pillow and I woke a couple of times in the night to take aspirin. When I woke this morning it hit me full blast. Tunnel vision and intense pain. Felt like sinus pressure, so I sent he who shops to score some sudafed and mulch for me. I took the sudafed and aspirin and coffee and I swear I could "see" every beat of my heart before my eyes as my head continued to pound. Still in my tattered sleep shirt that I can't bear to part with (says "Y are you so stupid" on the front) and a pair of sweat pants I stumble off to bed. The phone rang and rang until I accidentally hit the wrong button and effectively silenced it. The dogs either whined until I put them in bed or got up and down and up and down. The tap of the toenails on the floor sounded like sledgehammer blows. I finally achieved a level of relief in time for he who works to leave and be on his way. I can't stand the light in my eyes and certain noises make me want to scream out in pain.


So, nothing, absolutely nothing has gotten done today. I feel guilty as I sit here and write about my fragile state. My poor husband will pull a 10 hour shift, then come home and finish installing water on a site before he even comes to bed. I think I need to learn how to do this. I already know how to dig a hole. I just need to learn how to connect the pipes. Not today ............ maybe tomorrow.