Please Don't Help Me!

You may (or may not) be wondering what HeWho is doing during my kitchen re-do. I was going to call it a mini kitchen re-do, but there is nothing mini about it. You know how it is, you paint one cabinet and the rest look like they need it, then the counter top needs attention and the walls are looking drab and then you look down at the floor. 

Long, long sigh. I just finished the trim around the ceiling and the walls. I am waiting for paint to dry. The one side of the kitchen is looking great. Fresh white cabinets, lower gray cabinets, topped with my faux marble counter top. Most of the ceiling is done, but I ran out of the ceiling paint. The other side of my kitchen looks sad. And left out. Cries for attention. The stove occupies the other side, with a small two door cabinet beside it with a unique counter top that I salvaged from the dumpster right before it was going to topple in. It is made of various pieces of scrap 2 X 4's. and rounded on one corner. Fit my abandoned cabinet perfectly. I did paint that cabinet and change out the hardware on it. Next to that is a very shallow pantry, custom made for me by HeWho, himself. It is only 10" deep. Holds all my canned goods and boxed items of food. I drew out the plans  and he made it, somewhat begrudgingly. Fits my needs perfectly. The bottom shelf is taller than the rest. I was thinking it could hold those taller items, like the round box of oatmeal.

This turned out to be a not so good idea and ended up in a chapter of 'Letters To Gavin'. Titled 'Oatmeal, Not For Dogs' it tells the tale of my late Oscar and one of his shenanigans. Oscar could open the tall doors of the pantry with ease and he was known to just take what he thought was his. Since that thought applied to everything around him, he thought nothing of ripping open boxes of cereal and eating the contents. He did share with the rest of his pack, him being the leader. I suppose you know already that he opened the oatmeal, tipped it over, dumping the contents on the floor and proceeded to eat with great gusto.

Soon I had three dogs walking around the pile of oatmeal looking a little green around the gills and drinking lots of water. Wall-E, being the author of the trio could not wait to relay the episode to his boy, Gavin.

But I am off subject yet again. HeWho fancies himself to be an investigator of all things electronic launched a search to by-pass the processing company for our credit card income. He will do things like this from time to time in an effort to make my life harder than it has to be help me with my day to day transactions. Sometimes I listen to his ideas, sometimes I just nod and agree without really hearing him.

For instance, despite the fact that he has purchased several programs to accommodate the reservations on-line ….. he has never installed any of them. I do it all in a notebook with paper and pencil. It works quite well for me. Would it maybe be easier on-line? Sure, but he won't ask for help. My son and my son-in-law are quite proficient at any task such as this. This would be simple to them and I would probably prefer instructions from either of them instead of pretty much figuring it out on my own.

His latest venture involved the phone and the credit card processor. We had a land line for the business. We kept the same number and name of the campground when we bought it. The number was associated with a rather large and cumbersome pay phone that was located in the room adjacent to the office. There was a phone in the office that I could answer and make local calls on, but that was it. If some one used the pay phone, the line was tied up. If someone left the phone off the hook … the line was tied up. The pay phone was a rotary dial, probably installed when the original building was built in the late 60's. 

I had AT&T come out and take the pay phone, but not the number. I mention that because it was so very hard to make them understand what I wanted. It was 2005 and most people have cell phones, I had no need for a giant black oddity hanging off my wall. Well I took down the wall, as well. Retail space is valuable, you know.

Life went on and we had all those sellers of credit card processors visit with us from time to time and HeWho would change companies accordingly to save a percentage of the processing fees involved. It seemed it happened every time I would become accustomed to the machine in place. I found it to be highly annoying. This time, HeWho chatted many times with AT&T and one day a new cell phone arrived in the mail. Addressed to HeWho, but I opened it like every other wife will do.

"Why did you get a new cell phone and how much did it cost?" I asked. The reply was not expected. Seems the phone was free and I no longer have a land line. The phone came with that square thing that will let you run a credit card. If you aren't in a big hurry. Every single time I tried to use it, it would not work. I would follow his instructions and it would not accept the chip or a swipe. He would condescendingly take the phone from my frustrated hands and then attempt the transaction. Sometimes after several tries he could make it work. 

I expressed my displeasure and asked him if he thought it would be great on a holiday weekend when 10 campers are pulling in at the same time and I am trying to get them all in as quickly as possible. Another thing that was annoying was that the phone could ring with the square attached, but you could not communicate with the caller. So, after listening to my incessant complaints he ordered a processing machine from AT&T. Now the phone is attached to me, along with my personal cell that I used to forward the landline to. I handle all the reservations. Just easier than having him call me to ask me if there is availability on a certain date ….. I keep the reservation book at the desk, with all the pertinent information right there, easy to look at. Each month has a tab and all the weekends have a special sheet with all the site numbers on it. If a name is on the line next to that site number …. well you get the picture.

So, the new processing machine is easy to use and produces a receipt or you can text a receipt should the customer request one. Just a little problem with HeWho always tries to go the extra mile and "help". To simplify my life I include tax in all my merchandise. If you see that the item is $2, that is the all inclusive price. There are some items we sell that are not taxed, such as propane. The price fluctuates from time to time and we raise or lower the price accordingly and HeWho seems to not understand my method with my merchandise includes the tax in his pricing. The only thing that we add tax to is the price of the site. It is a hospitality tax (I am told). Sometimes I feel Hostile, but there is no tax for that!! I don't tax my long term tenants. 

So, what does HeWho should be cutting the lengths of boards that I asked for do? He sets up the processor to ADD tax to each transaction. Why, you may be asking, just as I did? So that I won't have to figure taxes on the weekend. Like it may be beyond my capabilities. I figure the taxes up and create a little cheat sheet and tape it to the cash register and by the end of the season, I have memorized it anyway. Please don't help, unless I specifically ask!