Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Best Laid Plans ....

When last we "spoke" I was all set for my trip to Georgia. I was so prepared. Had everything so very organized, yes, I did.

I didn't set an alarm clock .... no need, I have grumpy old dog Oscar to awaken me at dawn for his feeding and care. He always gets up at 5:30 and wants to go out. Figured I would just get up then. Sometimes I can coax him back to bed for another hour or two, but didn't plan to.

You may have already guessed that today he decided to sleep in. I made a late departure at 6:25 instead of 6:00 like I wanted to. No matter, I still had plenty of daylight hours to make it to south of Atlanta and felt confidant that even if it was getting dark I could make it the rest of the way.

So, since I am sitting in a hotel room some ways north of Birmingham, Alabama eating a banana and sipping decaf, we can all assume that my preparations were all for not!

It all started with the sun. I forgot to factor in the fact that I was heading due east during sunrise. I missed my exit off I-70 to get on I-57 and suddenly found that I was headed to Chicago. I got off and went back only to find that I could not get to I-57 from west bound I-70. But ......... there was I-55 heading south. I took it. I figured I would hook up with it at some point along the way. I did ask that annoying persona on my I-phone but she kept telling me to go back to St. Louis. Over and over again. She would not stop telling me to get off and go back. I wanted to fling the phone out the window. She does respond to SHUT UP, though.

So, there I am heading due south, thinking how very excellent a paper map would be. I like visual aids and I know I can pull a map up on my phone, but, either way I would have to pull over. I drove on until I was in need of a restroom and stopped. I called He Who Tows and he agreed that I should just keep going and take a different route than the one planned. This would take me to Birmingham, then Atlanta to pick up I-75 and head south. 

Sipping coffee and zipping along at 75mph, cruise set, singing with the radio, I was happily calculating my arrival time, thinking all my trouble was behind me. That is when my car died.
The rpm's suddenly went berserk. I turned off the cruise control, but the car would no longer accelerate and I had no choice but to coast to the shoulder ........ barely. The tires were still on the white line and the trucks were rocking me every time they passed.

I called He Who Tows, slightly annoyed at the car, thinking he would be able to magically fix it on the phone. He is no magician. We tried everything just to be able to get me further off the highway, but .......

Let's see, how can one calculate time sitting on the side of the road in a rocking car at midday? After talking to the nice man at AAA (Where are you, ma'am?) and telling him that I was in the south bound lane of I-55 about 66 miles north of Memphis, I tried to distract myself from my bladder. You will recall that coffee I was a sippin'.

I thought, no problem, I will move over to the passenger seat and listen to a book on my lap top.
Windows 8 reared it's ugly head and locked me out! After following all the directions the computer kept spitting at me, I gave up.

In desperation, I opened both passenger doors and peed. Yes, I did. On the Interstate somewhere in Arkansas. I was there so long that my pee evaporated.

Stay turned for a thrilling ride in a tow truck with a couple who work together. I am finished with my banana and decaf and am off to bed. There is nothing, absolutely nothing at this exit but this Hampton Inn and two gas stations. Rumor has it that there will be breakfast.


Val said...

Dang. The universe has taken a break from conspiring against me, and is now conspiring against YOU! I hope you at least have TV to help pass the time.

joanne said...


Kathy G said...


(But thanks for throwing your misfortunes out into blogland. I got a nice chuckle out of you opening the car doors to shield you while you 'got rid of' the coffee.

Joanne Noragon said...

It could have been a Motel 6.

ellen abbott said...

the well laid plans of mice and men...well, we know how that ends.

Linda O'Connell said...

Oh my gosh, I can't navigate even with a map. I hope your car is fixed and you made it to your destination. I once broke down at an intersection with young children in the car, and people were so rude.
You deserve a break!