Still Dizzy and a Little Weepy.....

I am still dizzy as I impatiently wait for my body to heal. I am okay as long as I am sitting and don't make any sudden moves. I want to mop my floors and dust all the surfaces. I like the feel of a clean house. I did manage to clean my kitchen this morning while I prepared lunch. Love of my life had done the dishes and cleaned up......... sort of. God bless him, he did try. He prepared dinner for me on Mother's Day. A hamburger with lettuce and pan fried potatoes with Vidalia onions. Sounds yummy, huh? I am so glad he does not read this. I know he worked hard on this little treat for me and I would not hurt his feelings--oh, who am I kidding? Okay I really don't want to be critical, but, he tried to take the potatoes and onions up a notch by adding bacon. You are no doubt thinking that the flavor of bacon is good in anything..........

I saw him slice the potatoes, then ask if we had anymore onions. I pointed to the onion that was resting on the cutting board right next to where he was working. He put the potatoes in the iron skillet with just a touch of canola oil and was slicing the onion when I went back to my perch on the sofa. The hamburgers had been prepared by me, then frozen, so I know exactly what was in them. So, why was there so much grease on the plate he served me? He added the raw bacon to the potatoes and onions when they were almost done. You can see it, can't you? The grease from the bacon was floating on the plate and the hamburger bun soaked up a lot of it. Didn't sit well in my stomach. He does try so hard and gets so close....and yet, so far away!

I had my little grandson Gavin here last year during this month. He is a funny little guy, looks like his Papa and it was so refreshing to see the world through his eyes. I was thinking of him as I stumbled around outside for a bit this morning. I was looking at the fruit trees and my flower beds coming to life. Last year, Gavin would help me inspect all the trees as we walked hand-in-hand through the yard. He chattered non-stop about bugs and sticks and all the wonderful things that little boys love so much. We had the same conversation every day as we went from one tree to the next, "What does this one tree make, Gramma?" . "Cherries, baby, see the tiny little cherries?" I would say. "Why they are green and not red?" he would ask and I would patiently tell him about how the fruit would ripen and then we would go on to talk about eating the fruit and what Gramma would make for him. The same with the apple trees, then the peach trees. We would always pass the maple tree on the way back in and every time, without fail, he would say, "And what does this one tree make, Gramma?" and I always replied that it was a maple tree and didn't make any fruit; and with the wisdom of his almost 4 years he would look up at me and ask, "Then why do you got this tree?" I miss him today.

When we lived close to the kids I got to see them anytime I wanted. I tried not to take advantage of the privilege. I got to watch my now 14 year old Gage grow up from a baby, as well as his sister, Layla. Gage has always been outgoing and friendly, while his sister was shy. Painfully shy. She is 8 now and not as shy, but it's still there...that reservation of herself as she evaluates you. I called her "Tink" for awhile because she would always say "I tink (think) you should......." I miss them as well, today. They were old enough to remember us from when we lived nearby. They "know" who I am. They know that I love them beyond measure and always will.

My son's oldest daughter was only 7 months old when we moved away. Every time I see her I feel like we have to get reacquainted. Not so much now that she is 5 and a half. She is reserved and shy like Layla. Last spring when I went to pick up Gavin,she totally surprised me by running to me and literally flying into my arms when she saw me. It was like she suddenly knew that I was her Gramma and not some fictional character that her parents had been telling her about. Her little sister, Jada was a few months old the first time I got to see her. Then every time I saw her she had grown leaps and bounds. She is very outgoing and more verbal than her big sister. Full of mischief, too. She will say whatever comes into her head....just like my youngest child (my son and his wife are in for a bumpy ride with this one). This one tugs at my heart in a whole different way. Jada is turning 4 and her baby sister is turning 1. This week!!! Zara arrived while Gavin was here with me last year. Jeff sent pictures via e-mail and I had one of her being fed by big sister Maya as my screen saver for a long time. Love of my life was the one to take Gavin home and he got to hold new baby Zara before me. I was totally bummed, but what can you do?

I was in a total funk last June sitting in my office checking in campers and selling the occasional bag of ice. Drew was shaving, about to shower to go to work. It was Saturday, the day before Father's Day. Phone rang and I looked at caller ID. My sweet son. "HI, Mom, what are you doing?" I forget what I answered. "Well why don't you go to the airport and pick me and Zara up?" I screamed, "Shut up, do not tease your mother!" I ran to the man in the shower and told him that our son was flying in and that he would have to call in sick so that he could go get them. A friend ended up bringing my most precious visitor to me. My daughter-in-law on impulse decided that I needed to hold the baby while she was still new. So, she sent her husband and her new baby to me. Good thing, too, because this baby is growing so much faster that her sisters.

I am tired of sitting. I am getting a little weepy thinking about my grandchildren. I have been a little over emotional all this past week and should have recognized the problem before yesterday. Over now and moving on. ..........