Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Post Audit Preparation

I am tempted to say I am brain dead, but that can't be true. I can still think, albeit very slowly. Maybe what I mean to say is that my mind is tired. We managed to get all the documentation requested by our friendly IRS. Now it is on it's way to Kansas. I spent most of the afternoon second guessing myself and hoping that what I sent doesn't raise even more questions.

After all the squinting at receipts with a magnifying glass and adding and re-adding columns of figures I was ready to get out of this place. I mowed all morning and moved logs and picnic tables. Then I weeded a garden. Cooked a delightful lunch of hot dogs and french fries while I answered the 6 calls that had accumulated on the answering machine. When love of my life escaped to his job I rearranged all the furniture. I moved everything.....everything. Hope he doesn't trip when he comes home tonight. I am hoping that I have cleaned the slate and won't have to repeat any scrutiny of expenses. Oh, and I should sleep pretty good after all that, too.

Phone rang..........I answer with a cheery "Kan-do Kampground, can I help you?". The caller asks, "Is this a campground?" (Isn't that what I just said?) "Yes, ma'am, it is." Long pause, then I say, "Can I help you?" Then she says, "I need two regular spots and a pop-up spot. We want to all be together and we want to be close to the pool and the bathrooms. My husband is off Friday and he wants to come in around 8 in the morning and get all set up." When she finally stops speaking I ask when she would like these 'spots'. "This weekend," she exclaims "for Memorial Day!" I knew she was going to say that......you get a sense for theses things after a while. "I'm sorry, but I am booked solid for this weekend." I tell the nice lady on the phone. "WHAT?" she screams, "What do you mean?" ( Gee, I thought it was quite clear....) I calmly repeat that I am booked for the weekend. "I have been planning this for weeks and now you tell me that you don't have my spots!" (Planning, you say. Gee, you forget to make reservations and now you are going to blame me. No, I can't say that......... Let's see.......no I can't even write that) "I'm so sorry, we have been booked up for several weeks now. The holiday weekends go pretty fast....." "Well, that doesn't do me a hell of a lot of good, does it?" (Look, lady, I feel I should warn you that my effexor hasn't completely kicked in and I am having trouble being civil....)

Phone just rang again "When I pull in which way do I go?" In reference to....... what? Phone etiquette no longer exists. Who are you and where are you pulling in to? Instead I calmly ask her to repeat herself since I did not understand the question. Apparently she thinks I am hard of hearing and shouts the same exact words to me, then says she is on her way to stay here. I squelch the urge to tell her to pull into the entrance drive and go right back out the exit drive and calmly tell her to simply follow the signs to the office where I will provide her with a map of the park. Then I remember that we are out of maps.................. I will draw her one. It will be a special one just for her. Not quite 2 hours left and I am wondering if I will make it.

There is a bottle of wine in the fridge. Would this be more fun with a nice cool glass of wine? maybe I could wash down my effexor with the wine. No. Ice water isn't doing it for me, so I will switch to coke as I water my front gardens and wait on my campers to arrive. Maybe I shall give them a playful squirt with hose.............

5 comments:

Kathy G said...

Good luck with your busy weekend!

Jilly said...

Don't drink the wine! I know you, one glass and you'll start squirting people with the hose for sure! Wait... I take that back. Drink the wine :)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Good God, how do you keep you calm dealing with such dimwits? I gave up dealing with the public when I had a part time job in a department strore when I was at uni. Miserable old bags taking their bad temper out on me. I gave them all the runaround whilst smiling at them - usually took them about a week later to realise I was taking the piddle out of them! Too late!

Stay off the vino! Slippery slope during the day!

ellen abbott said...

You make me laugh. People can be so clueless. I say drink the wine.

Lover of Life said...

I don't know how you do it. I was not gifted with your level of patience.