Wednesday, January 15, 2020

My Knight In Shining Armor?

Another gray and dreary day. Insomnia lives here. According to the technology riding on my wrist, I slept a total of one hour and 56 minutes. That was in two segments.

It is the C-Pap apparatus on the head of HeWho. It makes noise. It gurgles and makes a noise like a flap closing. Add that to the humming, mumbling from the man himself. Every time I approached sleep, the noises would snap me awake. I finally gave up and came to my sofa to read (listen to) a book. I was hoping sleep would find me, but I got really involved in the plot. I kept thinking I was near the end of the book and another twist in the plot would pull me back.

I was feeling somewhat settled and decided to give the bed another try at 3 am. I was quiet. I can navigate the house in the dark and I swear that nary a sound did I make. But Toni Louise, in the bed at her masters feet mistook me for an intruder and started barking. 

A chain reaction followed when her brother dogs joined in. I hissed at them to shut them up and then a joyful wagging of tails and happy guttural sounds ensued. Woke HeWho, who then made a noisy trip to the bathroom and returned to try to have conversation with me with that mask over his nose and mouth. Fully alert, but determined to sleep, I assumed my going to sleep position on my side and tried to ignore the masked man and all the humming noises he was making as he went right back to sleep.

When the alarm went off for HeWho had an appointment for re-hab, I was fully awake. Here I am after two cups of coffee, tired and lacking the motivation to do anything but continue to sit here.

Eddie managed to escape the back yard yesterday. Toni Louise was inside with me, helping me clean house. She was watching my every move, just in case there might be a treat involved. Cujo was barking relentlessly and would not come in when I yelled "TREAT". He was barking at the makeshift gate that HeWho procrastinates had rigged up. There was a very narrow opening that Eddie must have navigated. Cujo could not fit, he has become fat in his old age.

I put my fat little guy inside and ventured out to find the escapee. HeWho and Kevin were getting the tires on the truck rotated. Could that have been done the day before when they were out and about after rehab? Most likely, but, I was honestly happy to have an extra day with no one underfoot. I headed straight to the barn (aka: Fred Sanford's Emporium), since this is where the dogs went on their last adventure.

I stood at the opening (the door no longer closes) and called Eddie. I listened for any sounds of him rustling through the treasures of HeWho hoards. Nothing, I heard nothing. I called Martha, the boy cat, for assistance. No response. Thoroughly annoyed that my cleaning had been so rudely interrupted, I turned to go back. There stood Martha, the boy cat, with Eddie, the escape artist calmly watching me.

I scooped the little devil up and carried him inside while Martha entertained himself weaving in and out of my legs with each step. Eddie's feet were filthy with mud and his undercarriage needed a good cleaning, as well. I scolded him as I cleaned him up. He lay in my lap on his back, just looking up at me, secure in the knowledge that I could not stay mad at him. He even let me trim some tangles out of his long hair.

I went to the big plastic trash can I store dog food in and lifted the lid to reach for the scoop and thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye before I flipped the light on. There was a MOUSE SITTING ON THE HANDLE OF THE SCOOPER! Why am I afraid of mice? I don't know! I slammed that lid down and put a pile of clean rugs to weigh it down. Did I think that tiny mouse could lift the lid?

I don't handle mice, that is the job of HeWho! One of his infrequent chores. I suppose I could have handled it by taking the can out and pulling the bag of dog food out and dumping the critter on the ground for Martha to play with. I would have, but who am I to deny HeWho the role of the Knight in shining armor rescuing me, a damsel in distress? Now, if he will just sleep silently, my life will be complete!

Monday, January 13, 2020

It IS Monday, After All

It IS Monday, the sky IS overcast and dreary. Since it is also a day without HeWho rehabilitates, I had big plans. Well laid plans. I sipped my coffee, itching for his departure, chomping at the bit to be about the business of thoroughly cleaning this dusty room I am now sitting in.

I can't get anything done to my satisfaction while he is underfoot. He would be in his lift recliner, sucking on candy or chomping on juicy fruit gum, watching Live PD at warp volume. Dare I block his view? Like I could stand to even be in the room with the volume of the TV. There are times when I wonder why my ears aren't bleeding.

Before you tell me that he needs hearing aids, know that he has them. Don't suggest that they need to be adjusted, as I have already planted that seed. We have to wait a bit until he thinks it was his idea.

So, I drained my coffee cup and dressed myself, started the laundry, made the bed and was making some headway. I was sneezing, of course and decided to brew another cup of coffee (a forbidden luxury that makes me heart tap out an off beat rhythm). My throat was dry and I longed for the hot jolt that would perk me up. I had the cup in my hand while I was relocating all the things that were out of place.

I was going  back and forth and put that cup down …. somewhere. I wanted another sip. I looked and looked. I even went into rooms I had not been into. I could not find that cup of coffee. This must be why I stay in the same spot to drink coffee every morning. I finally gave up on the coffee and the ability to focus on the task at hand. I gathered all the trash and garbage for the man of the house to dispose of upon his return … him already being dressed for the slushy mix of snow and mud in the way of the dumpster.

I found the now cold coffee and dumped it. Then I decided to tackle the table next to the master's chair. Did I think this would put me in a better frame of mind? It did not. I muttered things best left unsaid as I tossed candy wrappers, half eaten suckers and every bit of paper that has touched his hands since the last time I did this. I had given him the task of going through stacks of old documents and such when I purged the store filing cabinet. Looks like he kept more than he tossed - his new shredder sits idle. In no particular order did he "set aside" those items he deemed "important".

I am not his secretary, have never wanted to be a secretary, preferring to have one, not be one. It would be a full time job and I have other things I want to do. Having purged myself here, I will now get back to work. I will do everything except vacuum and take the trash out, or go to the box and get the mail. He likes those chores.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

No More Fungus

Continuing to acclimate to the new bed, the dogs no longer freak out when I change the head or foot levels. Toni Louise has been suffering from some kind of skin allergy for the past six months.

Not long ago, I took the bulk of her hair off to be able to see the skin underneath that she was chewing at relentlessly. Probably about three months ago. I have bathed her with various shampoos, but nothing seems to help. While shopping in a farm store I purchased a bottle of shampoo that would address many things, including fungus.

This stuff smells nasty. The gnawing of skin has started to be a problem with Eddie. This morning I scooped Eddie into the tub and lathered him up with this new shampoo. The label says you can use it on horses, as well. I bought a small bottle and really don't think I could afford to wash a horse!! The label warned that it was toxic to humans and to wash hands thoroughly after washing your pet. 

This was not a problem, as I fully intended to take a shower upon completion of my task. HeWho was still sleeping when I bathed Eddie and then popped into the shower. Eddie was indignant about this. He likes to be wrapped tightly in a towel and held while he dries. So, Eddie did what Eddie does when Eddie feels slighted. He began barking and whining, waking HeWho sleeps a lot. 

I was almost finished when I was hit with inspiration. I told HeWho to grab Toni Louise so I could bathe her as well. Might as well, I was already there, I was already wet. Made perfect sense to me. I apparently forgot my label reading.

Eddie loves a good bath, Toni doesn't embrace his enthusiasm. Not only did I disregard the label warnings, I always seem to think that she will miraculously come to love the bath. She likes to shake, slinging shampoo all over me. She got me in the face, and on my legs and feet. I rewashed myself, but it stings now. 

I suppose good news is that I won't be succeptable to fungal infections. Maybe ...

Monday, December 30, 2019


HeWho loves to run errands was dispatched to Walmart to gather all the items on my list. One item was the ZIPPERED mattress protectors for my newly cut mattresses. I did say zippered and even wrote it down. He returned with FITTED mattress covers.

This is why I specified ZIPPERED. There is even an illustration on the packaging. He admitted that he saw the zippered one and it cost three times more. He was forgiven. I went on-line and ordered what I wanted and they did not cost that much more, but they aren't stocked in the store. I can wait.

In the meantime we had our first night in the new bed. For some unknown reason, the remote was in the hands of HeWho snores. The three canine bed companions were patiently waiting for me to get in next to them. They were already a bit disconcerted about the changes in the room. This new bed is probably standard height for a bed, while the old one was waist high to me and I had to use a step stool to get in. In this new and improved bed I felt like I was on the floor.

HeWho manned the remote raised the head of the bed and then the foot. My doxies rushed to my side in a panic, while Toni Louise began barking frantically. When the bed stopped moving and they settled down, HeWho turned on the vibrator. The dogs did not like that at all. Toni jumped down. I don't think the other two even realized that the bed was low enough to the floor that they could have joined in her escape.

I was not a fan of the vibrator either. I lay there feeling like I was back in the seventies in a cheap motel with magic fingers shaking the bed. So we turned that off and I took control of the remote with that anti-snore button I knew I would be using.

HeWho helped me get my Fitbit corresponding with my I phone and I can now recite the number of steps I make each day. My favorite feature is the one that monitors my sleep. Last night was a good night and I got a whopping 31 minutes of deep sleep, 4 hours and 52 minutes of light sleep, and 1hour and 56 minutes of REM sleep. I woke 5 times for a total 55 minutes. I found the fact that Fitbit calculates this to be a good night sad. Especially since this really is the best sleep time I have had in the past week. Just sad. 

Sunday, December 29, 2019

This Thing Weighs 600 Lbs.!

The new bed was delivered, as promised on Friday. HeWho and his cohort, Kevin were at rehab when the big delivery truck stopped in front. I went to the door and was greeted by a young man with a pained expression.

He asked if he was at the correct address in a way that made me thing he was hoping he was at the wrong place. He offered the bill of lading for my inspection and I confirmed that he was where he was supposed to be. Deep sigh from him and then he asked where I wanted the package to go after they unloaded it. "Ma'am, this thing weighs like 600 lbs." Just imagine his look of pure joy when I told him I wanted it left on the front porch! "Are you sure? It is really heavy, how are you going to move it?" I assured him that I was not the one who would be moving it, that I had a couple of strong guys to do that.

Soon as they got home, Kevin began the process of opening the box and reading the directions, while my crabby husband was helping me dismantle the bed in our bedroom. You need to keep in  mind that we have very little space in here. It is almost as tight as out RV. When you remove something, it has to go somewhere and usually ends up in the living area. That is where the box springs landed and the king size mattress landed in the store, up on end.

The new bed came in and got set up. The mattress we had for it was too thin, so I investigated the really thick mattress we had just removed and discovered it had three layers. The mattress was in good shape … until I took it apart to remove the pillow top layer and add it to the mattress on the new bed. I made the new bed, knowing I would not be inclined to dressing a bed at the end of what was to be a very long day.

Despite all my planning and preparing, I had to unload a big shelf unit in the hall to be able to get the 600 lb. bed to be able to make the turn into the bedroom. This was done while the men waited with the bed wedged in the hall. Then I needed to put it all back together.

But, wait, there is more!! While HeWho arranged himself in his recliner, Kevin and I were cleaning up. This is when Kevin told me that HeWho seems to think he is in charge had told him to throw all the rest of the old bed in the big hole they dug in the billboard field. 

This was not going to work for me, who hates waste. The extra bedroom in our humble abode had turned into a storage area of late. I really like having more sleeping options that just our room. We do, on occasion, have company. We usually put them up in our RV. I didn't want another room with a king size bed, but twin beds in an "L" formation against the walls would be doable.

When I enlightened the men about my new plans that had been forming in the back of my mind, they both looked at me like I might have a fever. I pointed out that the box springs were in good condition …. and HeWho pointed out that we would have to buy mattresses.

And this is how HeWho ended up cutting the old king size mattress in half, per my instructions. He was not happy about, but I suppose he thought about all the things I do for him (like putting all his pills in containers for his consumption) and decided he should probably just do what I wanted. It worked just as I had imagined it would. I had extra foam from other projects and I enclosed the "raw" sides and would be encasing the mattresses made from one in those mattress protector bags that zip up. The new twin beds are nice and comfy! With room underneath for drawers! I am quite happy with my solution.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

HeWho Inspires Me

Where will you be when the urge to write hits you? Sometimes I am in bed begging sleep to overtake me. A lot of the time, this is the case. Sometimes I am waiting on weekenders and have no time to get to my laptop and will write myself a note, lest I forget what prompted my thoughts to try to become words.

Today, I am slap dab in the middle of putting the bedrooms back together. For our Christmas/45th Anniversary we gifted ourselves a new bed. Adjustable bed that is. I can now hit a button marked SNORE and it will raise the head of the offender. Not only that, it has heaters and vibrators and even USB ports to plug our phones in!

Knowing the bed was in transit, I began the preparation to move out the old and bring in the new. I am a planner. I like for things to run smoothly and I can pull it off as long as HeWho doesn't "help" me.

For two days I moved furniture with no help. I did not want help. I removed all the drawers and then was able to manage the two large dressers on my own. I figured I should empty those drawers and refold everything before putting those drawers to order. Then I decided to purge said drawers of things no longer in use. My stuff was pretty much in order, but I did toss a lot of clothes I no longer wear since I have shed a few pounds. My car back seat is full of discards that I will donate.

I have noticed that lately, HeWho should be old enough to dress himself, has been wearing mismatched socks. I do the laundry and I know things. Since he has been underfoot a lot lately, I have left his folded laundry for him to put away. Big mistake. His sock drawer was absolute chaos. The socks that I so carefully pair together were all singles looking for mates. I dumped the contents on my bed. He has a large sock drawer and two small ones. I paired all the socks I could and eliminated odd and holey ones. Why would you unpair the socks? When did he pull them apart? Was it when he put them all helter skelter in the drawer, or when he was dressing himself in the morning? And I usually toss the ones with holes before I add them to the wash, so where did all these socks with holes come from? So many questions for someone who will just say, "What do you mean?" Do his socks have secret lives?

But, I digress. I was talking about wanting to put words to "paper" (so to speak). My urge came today while HeWho was cutting a mattress with inner springs in half. I will tell you about this in a later post. I had been getting a space ready and moved quite a bit of our belongings around and happened to look in on him when I saw that he was using some kind of power tool and sparks were flying. Inside the house. Sparks, actually, inside the mattress. And that is when the urge hit me. Was I trying to escape? Maybe. HeWho is my inspiration, doesn't need to try to give me material; it just happens! Oh, no fires resulted from the actions of HeWho inspires me!

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Time Flies

The three wise men?  Maybe.

The Christmas tree in the store. I made it out of a triangular tomato cage. I suppose I could have gone out and cut a tree on my property, but the tomato cage will not shed.

As you can see, my registration desk needs to be trimmed out. But that is not what I was looking at when I took the picture. This terrarium was one of the arrangements at my Dad's funeral. The plants have all died, so I made a fairie garden. Even the fairies have their own tree.

Another shot of my Christmas balls.

Kamper Stacy found these old campers and cars in a thrift store and bought them for me. They fit over the lights. 

It has occurred to me that all the decorations will have to be taken down and carefully packed up soon. Time seems to go by so fast. Remember being a child and thinking time was crawling by? Especially around Christmas time, or waiting for the school year to end!

I have recovered from my rant yesterday. I managed to make 5 batches of cookies and now have only 4 left to do. Tomorrow. It will be here before you know it!