Sunday, April 26, 2015

It's Raining Beans

I am so happy to see this week end. All week long I have been a calamity of misdeeds. Everything I touch seems to go to hell in a hand basket. From my spotty internet connections to my spectacular trip and fall a few minutes ago, it has been a very long week.

I have been unable to find my movie streamer. Maybe I should engage the antics of He Who still hunts the muskrat. Perhaps he could concoct a trap of sorts that would not involve mating calls of muskrats. I can get on-line, but I can't stay on-line.

The high spot of the week was having lunch out today with He Who is my sweet husband. From there we stopped at WalMart, not my usual WalMart, but one in a different city. He dropped me off at the door and headed to Lowes to get something. He told me, I wasn't listening. I was salivating at the thought of roaming the garden center for rescue plants.

I was supposed to be gathering the few items we actually needed, but we all know I would not do that until I quenched my thirst in the garden area. I scored a flat of petunias for a song. They were half price and only needed dead heading. We came home and I started playing in dirt.

I decided to start dinner first, though. He Who had requested lima beans and rice, chopped onion on the side. I had no limas in my pantry, so got some at WalMart. Have you seen the price of dried beans? Nearly $5 for 2 lbs.! Anyhoo, I pulled out the pressure cooker. I needed some serious cooking done fast since I had not had the opportunity to soak those beans.

I am adept with the pressure cooker. I loaded my beans with plenty of water and waited until it was chugging away and turned down the temperature of the burner before going outside. I do this all the time. I gathered my rescues and supplies. I carefully sewed burlap into the hanging baskets before putting in my specially treated potting soil. This happens when you fill a diaper with water and then remove those little moisture absorbing bead things, then mix those with your miracle grow potting soil. Supposed to hold the moisture in for those days you forget to water your hanging baskets. I will let you know if it works.

After sewing my first basket and planting it, I decided to check on my stove. The lid was still intact, but the little thing that is supposed to sit atop the lid and regulate the steam was laying on the stove and lima bean water was spewing everywhere. This is not good. I opened the pot to determine how much water was left and added water, happy to note that al the moisture had not escaped.

The stovetop was afloat with starchy water, as well as the floor. Oscar the cantankerous doxie was right there in the middle of it all, happily licking the floor. I cleaned up the stove and restarted the beans. Went back to the second hanging basket and finally got them hanging with all the other baskets. I watered them all and then came in to finish dinner.

It was only when I started cleaning up the dishes that I noticed the goo dripping from the ceiling.
I hauled a step stool in and got the dripping part dealt with. I saw that the microwave and the shelf above it were also in need of a good scrub down. I climbed down, deciding that I was losing light and wanted to get the last basket done.

This is when I realized I had left the water on outside. In my haste to get to the faucet, I tripped, falling headlong into my ground cover. That stuff sure can soften your fall! My chin even hit the ground and other than a stain on my pants at the knee, I suffered nothing other than my pride. Of course, it could be said that I have no pride, given the fact that I just told everyone about it.

So, now, while I have internet (I hope), I will publish this and head to bed. Next week will be better. I will be washing my ceiling and cabinets tomorrow. Probably needs it anyway.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Bartering, Frost and Costumes

Busy is an understatement as we race to accomplish as much as possible before Memorial Day. The bathroom renovations seem to be dragging on endlessly. A camper expressed interest in working on the tiling in exchange for rent.

I like barter, myself. Seems like a better way of commerce to me. Only problem is that he will only work for about 2 hours and then he quits. While it is true that he does good work ....... his productivity leaves a lot to be desired. At the rate he is going the bathrooms won't be done this year!

Nevermind, will just do them myself. My gardens might suffer, but one has to have priorities, right? Speaking of gardens, a kamper (not to be confused with a camper, campers spelled with a "k" are like family) brought a banana tree to me! It has to be dug up every fall and left dormant in a cool dry place, but to have my very own bananas, it will be worth the effort. So I planted the tree and watered it. I spoke loving words to the tree as I patted the dirt around the roots.

The very day I planted it, the forecast called for frost that night! So, there I was, in the dark, carefully shrouding my 5 and a half foot tree with sheets to protect it from Mother Nature and her tricky deeds. When I got up the next morning at Oscar's usual feeding time, I peeked out my bedroom window to see the tree dressed in her sheets, looking for all the world like a member of the KKK standing sentinel over my garden! Not my intention, since it is not Halloween.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

I Am Going To Get That Wascally Wabbit!

There he stands, shot gun at the ready. The battle with the muskrat is ongoing. Has been for about 5 years. The muskrats are a nuisance in a banked pond. They will burrow in the side, creating a hole and the water will seep out constantly onto the road. The erosion on the road has the be filled in quite frequently.

He once told me he had shot a muskrat, although he had no proof of that ........ He Who hunts muskrat has never shown proof. If I shot one I would get a net and get the little sucker out of the pond!

He was watching a video on line earlier today, trying to learn how to make "muskrat sounds" to lure the muskrat to the shore line and shoot it. Also setting traps ... homemade traps.

Am I the only one thinking about Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Dandelions and On Time

Apparently the streamer of movies is not watching a movie, since I did not have to fight to get on-line.

So, here I sit happily two finger typing (much to the chagrin of my child) in a semi- drugged state. I had my colonoscopy/endoscopy this morning. I was the first patient and thought I should be somewhat clear headed by now. I was told to take it easy all day, no mowing of grass, sewing of garments, or cooking. I had a real good dose of Michael Jackson's sleep remedy. Not as much as he had, but this stuff must take awhile to escape one's system.

I was not told that I could not pull dandelions from the gardens, so I did that for a bit, but did not last long. Speaking of dandelions .....

While I prepared for my big event yesterday and was thoroughly indisposed, I heard a man's voice in the store talking to He Who still does not know how to take a reservation after 10 years. I was blatantly eaves-dropping as the man was telling him that our prices are too high. He says he would rather support the state parks, that he can stay there for only $11 a night (sleeping in the back of his truck). I was wondering why he stopped here if he was intending to go a mere mile further and stay.

I watched through the window as he went back to his truck. He did not get in the driver's seat, but opened the door to the passenger side and rummaged through a pile of what appeared to be laundry. Not folded or stacked in any manner, but just a big wad of stuff. I wondered if he might be looking to use my laundry.

I wasn't going to inquire, as I had a need to stay close to my facilities, having just gulped my first glass of Miralax and Gatorade. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would taste ...... but that was the first 8 oz. of 64. But I digress. Still in control of things to come I watched as he finally found what he was looking for. He took off his shirt and changed right there in the parking lot. I left my perch then and went on with the business of the day. I was afraid his pants would be next and I wasn't interested.

I was later told that upon arriving he admired all of my yellow flowers ....... the ones that were all in the fields of grass. The dandelions. God bless him for seeing them as a thing of beauty. After he did his quick change in the parking lot, he settled in the driver's seat and took full advantage of our free Wi-Fi before moving on to "support" the state park.

Oddly, I don't even care today. We got up at 4:30 to get there in time. There was no traffic to speak of and we were an hour early. The traffic picked up right after we exited the interstate. I really was the first person there. I got there before the staff did. I strive to never be late! I took two naps already and I am watching the clock, just waiting til bedtime.





Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Streaming Is Forbidden!

I don't remember getting so tired last year. I know I am getting older, but I can't seem to keep my eyes open much past 9:00. I was thinking it might be my Neurontin and I tried to wean myself, but ..... the pain makes me even more tired.

We had a few favorite kampers over for Easter dinner. I love to cook for people I love. We had a feast. Spiral cut brown sugar glazed ham, fresh asparagus spears wrapped in bacon and roasted, potato salad, and dinner rolls. Andrea brought her famous pineapple dressing, a grape salad and assorted tasty bites ...... as well as some Jello shots! Wine, too. Martha came with wine, as well and she provided the 3 cakes for dessert (Pepperidge Farm, my favorite!)

I had such a good time. I went to bed at 7:00 and slept until 7:00 Monday morning. You would think that I would be rested up, but as soon as the sun starts to drop in the sky, I start planning my escape to bed. I usually get up at 5 am when the low throated whine of my old boy, Oscar wakes me. He is always ready to eat then. They all go out, and the other three go back to bed with me until 7. Oscar is ready for more chow then. The day is a long one of whining and being declined for more food until 3 pm. He then naps until 5 when he starts whining again and hoping that a plate will fall from the table.

He follows my every step in my small kitchen. I stumble a lot as he waits for anything to drop from my hands. Doesn't matter what it is, potato peels, the end of a carrot, or a chunk of fruit, he will grab it and gnaw away with the few teeth he has left. If fortune is on his side, I will fry something and he will gleefully lick the floor by the stove. He is partial to bacon and pork chops. When I tuck my legs under the table to eat my meal, he insinuates himself between my feet, lest I forget he is there.

I love that old dog. He annoys the crap out of me sometimes, but I would miss him like crazy if he wasn't there at my feet, tripping me as I cooked.

Wait, I was telling you about my constant fatigue, then I got all sappy about my old dog. The internet continues to toy with my good will. I know that there must be someone here streaming a movie. Strictly forbidden, as it will knock everyone else off. That is what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere in the great state of Missouri(pronounced "misery"). My laptop is completely dead, won't even turn on. Dude, it's a Dell.

So, lest you think I have disappeared from the land of blog ...... I am reading and can even slip in a comment or two. I will be trolling my grounds looking for the streaming offender. In the meantime I take great pleasure in knowing that every time I have to schlep outside and physically reboot the system, I am knocking them off-line, too. I take my pleasures where I can get them!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April's Fool

It was 14 years ago today. There I sat chatting with my daughter-in-law on the phone. I had exhausted the cordless handset and had to switch to the corded one. I was waiting for He Who was asleep to get up and come downstairs. We had a hockey game to go to. My grandson/son Dan was playing Spring Hockey to hone his skills and had a game that afternoon.

I was all set with the hockey gear all packed up in his bag. At that age (10), the mom does a lot of washing and packing up of gear. Not to mention shopping for new skates as the foot seems to jump a size every month, then hauling skates in to be sharpened, etc. I was keeping an eye on the time, so as not to be late.

I was positioned in the kitchen so that I could see the stairs leading up to our bedrooms and I looked up as He Who was now awake stood at the top of the stairs looking at me. He said, "Call 911, I am having a heart attack." He was quite calm and I told him that I knew it was April 1st and I was not falling for his joke. "I am not kidding." he said and I looked closer. His face was gray. He said he was going to get an aspirin and get dressed.

My daughter-in-law could hear all this and said she would send Jeff (our son) to the hospital we would be going to. I hung up and dialed 911. I gave them my address and told them my husband was having chest pains and thought he was having a heart attack. "Is he breathing?" I could not see him, as he had gone back upstairs to get the aspirin and dress. I relayed this and she told me to stay on the line and go see for myself. I dumbly told her that I was on a corded phone, then said, "Dan, go see if Dad is breathing!"

I was not thinking clearly, obviously. The ambulance arrived, followed by a fire engine and two police cars, filling our cul-de-sac with all the vehicles. So many people came in our house it looked like we having a huge party. One rather large woman with a red face grabbed me by my shoulders and shouted into my face, "Calm down!!" I have never understood that part. My husband was sitting on the sofa as they checked his vital signs and I was merely standing in the doorway of my kitchen watching and staying out of the way. He was in pain, but not in obvious distress. I think of her from time to time and wish I had told her that she needed some breath mints .....

He did have a heart attack and had some stents placed in his heart. We don't do April Fools anymore. He Whose heart I love does not find April Fools jokes funny. Neither do I.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Calamity Jim Must Be His Name

My Wi-Fi has been a pain all week. Keeps knocking me off. Can't comment, sometimes can't even read an entire post.....

Woke this morning to a howling wind. Stumbled around letting dogs out and a cat in. Fed the hungry crowd while the coffee brewed, then made my way to the office. Just in time to see an Airstream leaving. I did not check in an Airstream last night, so I check the drop box for a registration and find none. Nice. They stayed for free. This is not a good way to start the day!!

Yesterday was not any better. I had good intentions when I entered my sewing room. I was going to sort all the pieces of fabric I had on my cutting table and give the room a good cleaning. Instead I hunted through my old patterns for doll clothes and made a dress for an orphan doll I found in a thrift store. She was there on a clearance table for only $3. Naked and abandoned. She was clean and had good hair. I paused there and thought that if I did not rescue her she was bound for the landfill!!! Her eye caught mine and, as they say, the rest is history.

She was staring at me beseechingly from my cutting table. In need of clothes and lonely. I know just the little girl for her. My Jailynn will turn 6 very soon. Lucy (sorry, I couldn't wait to name her) will have a marvelous life with my great granddaughter. Before she travels, she will need a wardrobe!! First I made a fetching little print dress with lace on the collar and I was putting the elastic one her panties when a lady presented herself at the check-in counter.

She was in a car and wanted to procure a site for the evening. Her husband was somewhere on the road behind her. We completed the transaction and I assigned a site on the map. When her husband pulled in and stopped in front of the office, he was directly in my blind spot. I did not see just how tall his rig was (this is G rated!).

The site I assigned has electrical wires that cross over-head from pole to pole. These wires supply that side of my park with power ..... So, okay I should not have assigned that site to that particular rig. I confess that my mind was cataloging the fabric stash, searching for another outfit for Lucy and planning dinner. I am a multi-tasker ..... on drugs!! Although I have become accustomed to the meds for the neuropathy, my mind is not as sharp as it used to be.

But ......... one would think that the driver of the rig would have seen the obstacle he was facing and NOT pull in to that site, knowing that he would hit the wires. He pulled in and caught the wires on his air conditioner atop the rig ....... and although he felt the resistance, he plowed forward and not only did he pop that live wire, HE PULLED THE POLE DOWN!

He then called his wife (still in the office) to tell her he "was stuck in some wires". As she repeated this I realized what I had done. I sent help to get him out of the wires, thinking he had merely hit them and they were stuck on something and he needed to remove them to back out. I was wrong. The wife had a look of pure panic on her face as she said she needed to help him and I can only assume there must be a reason she is leading the way in her car, while he drives the truck pulling the 5th wheel.

The helper later reported that the driver was on top of his rig pulling at the live wire. When he was cautioned to wait for help, he replied, "It's broke now, so it's dead." My helper stood back at a safe distance, waiting for someone with the knowledge of electricity came.

Of course, He Who is an electrician (of sorts) is not here. He is on the road with more materials for the bathroom remodel. He does not respond with any words I can repeat here when I reach him and fill him in. He is only 15 minutes away and dumps the trailer, then head down to the site to see the damage.

In the meantime our driver, who is unafraid of live wires carrying enough electricity to power up one side of the park, has disengaged his rig and after some tree trimming has managed to back out and go to another site. He chooses one that has electricity and seems unfathomed by the chaos in his wake. After all I assigned the site, didn't I?

He Who is not at all happy, has to drive back to same store he came from to acquire the necessary parts to temporarily fix the wires to get power to the campers left in the dark (so to speak). He got back and fixed it and ate his lukewarm dinner at around 8:00. Today he will have to look at the downed pole and determine what he needs to reset it. It will definitely involve the renting of some heavy equipment. The stay cost them $30 ..... our cost is yet to be determined, but the couplers he bought last night were around $70.

We are not getting rich here. Unfortunately for me, I have to admit that this adventure (owning a campground) was my idea. What was I thinking??? 

I will confess that, just now, as I watched the Calamity Rig leaving, it brought me a good deal of pleasure to see that  air conditioner sits askew atop the rig. A modicum of justice?