Saturday, February 25, 2017

Camping Season is Coming

It is Saturday. Tomorrow will begin a brand new week. It has to be better than this one.

So, are you wondering if I am still annoyed?  Why, yes, yes I am. At everything. It is like the entire universe has conspired to just plain pi$$ me off. Thinking back on the week, I realize that part of the problem is not enough sleep. I am tired when I arise and any efforts to crawl back in the bed for more sleep is useless. I might sleep for another hour or two, but I dream crazy, vivid dreams that leave me feeling unsettled all day long.

I have trouble falling to sleep and when I finally do, my canine family is loathe to let me sleep for an appropriate amount of time. Wall-E has been the culprit lately. He will jump down and awaken Eddie and Cujo. I will take them all out, except Toni Louise. She is happy to wait for daylight. When we get to the door, Wall-E refuses to go out with the other two. He runs back to the bedroom and hides. The little guys are more than happy to get back in bed with me. Cujo snuggles under the covers and molds his body next to mine. Eddie prefers to be atop the covers and will curl his little self right under my chin and sometimes drape his head over my neck.

Wall-E has to be hunted and then heaved into the bed ..... none too gently. Toni Louise awakens every morning at 7:30, a proper time to be dragged from my bed and then while they all out taking care of business, I take care of my own business. This is when I find exactly where Wall-E has chosen to relieve himself in the dark hours of the morning. Looks like he had hiked his leg and aimed at the towel hanging on the holder. It was the towel of HeWho sleeps soundly. This makes me ponder the dog's punishment. Leaves me wondering if I should replace that towel or leave it for HeWho uses it twice to discover.

Almost like having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I left the towel. Decided I should get out of here for awhile. It is time for a big trip to the grocery and the puppy chow is low. I showered and then relented and tossed his towel in the laundry. Dressed and got ready to head out to stock the pantry. I was feeling almost human.

Was. I could not find my keys. I looked everywhere beginning with my purse. I checked my coat pockets and all of my pants pockets. I checked on the floor under the key holder. I checked the washer and the dryer and I checked the vehicle. I was so irritated. I sat down to check my e-mail (um, no, not for the keys) and regroup. The phone rang as I was trying to remember what I was wearing last time I drove my car.

I should probably leave you here, and not make this post so long. Unlike Hillbilly Mom, I can't stop. It is just too good to leave for another day. I answer with my usual business voice, hiding my irritation. I note that it is a local call and figure I am in for a treat. I was not disappointed.

"Kan-Do Kampground, how can I help you?" I say into the phone. The connection is not a good one, static interferes. "Do you got somebody by the name of Joe Blow stayin' out there at your place?" I ask her to repeat the last name, not recognizing the first name and not hearing clearly. She repeats it and I tell her that I have no one by that name staying here. "Well, my granddaughter stayed out there for a week in his camper and she come back eat up with bed bug bites! I just want you to know that you got bed bugs at your place!" I inform her once again that I have no tenant with that name and she says, "Well, I guess we won't do nothin' about it then!"

Yes, my long days of isolation are nearing an end. Camping season is just around the corner. Eddie and all his charm will take a back seat to the stories of campers. I will miss the endless days of winter, my feet under a blanket in my recliner, dogs all over me.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Still Annoyed

I hope this will end with the week. Yes, I am still annoyed.

Yesterday I had big plans. I had planned and worked around HeWho and asked just this one thing of him. I didn't even ask when the green house would be covered ......

It has been almost two years since he decided to tile my bathroom floor. I was on a trip to see my Dad and in my absence he decided to finally pull the toilet up and tile the floor. I had asked him to pull the toilet up and told him I would lay the tile. He always had an excuse.

So, while I was gone and my oldest grandson was here, they decided it would be a nice surprise for me to come home to a tiled bathroom. I gushed lavishly and thanked them ..... and stood in the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning wondering how they managed to screw the project up as bad as they did. Looks like they started out okay. The tiles are 4" by 24". They had staggered them nicely and it looked really good ....... until about halfway.

At that point they stopped staggering and started laying tiles in a different pattern for three rows, then back to staggering again for one row. After that there seems to be a problem with the sink vanity. Looks like they cut a piece wrong and used it anyway and then just stuck pieces all willy nilly and suddenly stopped just shy of the doorway.

I spent two days carefully prying up the tiles all the way back to the last row of properly staggered tiles. I specifically asked if HeWho thinks power tools will most likely kill women, would cut the tiles for me. He assured me that he would be happy to. He was unable to do it the previous day, because he was tinkering with his tractor. I noticed the tractor was still sitting in the middle of the parking lot where it suddenly died the night before.

It had to be pulled back to the barn. Then he had to go have his hearing aids adjusted. And this was after the trip to McDonalds for his breakfast, then a trip to the bank. Really, why could he not have accomplished all of this in the same trip? Finally he was ready to help me.

I carefully measured the first cuts I would need. Another trip to the hardware store was necessary to get the blades. Upon his return, I waited patiently for those first two cuts before mixing the thin set. For some reason, he thought he was done. I quickly tried to bring him back to task. I gave him the next two cuts and started laying tile. He seemed to be taking forever, but what do I know, I am not allowed to used power tools.

I sensed his annoyance as the project continued. But I was determined to finish. It was only half the floor area and I wanted to grout it today and be done with that task. The cuts started being not quite right and on a couple that were in corners, I actually tapped them in with a hammer.

So, you might be wondering if the floor is completely tiled. It is not. One last piece needs to be cut in the doorway. He says he broke all three blades trying to get that last piece just right.

It is amazing to me that he did not make another trip to get another blade, but he just sort of dismissed me and went on about his business. Am I annoyed? Yes, I am.

Maybe I should start supper and just turn everything off about halfway done. That won't work, he will just go get Chinese take-out.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Annoyed Yet Again

You will recall, if you read this at all, that HeWho swigs Diet Coke all day long used to favor a huge Bubba Mug. Made of plastic and insulated, it would keep his disgusting favorite drink cold all day long. Unbreakable, it would bounce when it fell off the mower or the tractor or the golf cart. Remember, he does not walk anywhere.

The screw on lid would break from time to time and the handle was always breaking. I think at one time he about 6 of these vessels in various states of disrepair. He would pair them up with mismatched lids and I am sure he would have used gorilla tape to re-affix the handles had I not tossed them. The inside of the cup was always clean and I tried to keep the outside clean. This is not the actual Bubba mug, but they are about this size. I have disposed of all the green, black, and turquoise mugs and lids.

I employed the use of bleach and Mr. Clean's magic eraser. But, the cups always looked nasty. He would even carry them into places that served food unless I caught him first. People would comment about the appearance of his bubba mug, which I took as a personal affront about my cleaning abilities.

He had his eye on the Yeti stainless steel cups, but I think he was afraid to buy one, lest I discover the cost. He was right about that. So, when he discovered the Ozark stainless steel at Walmart, he purchased two. Now, I was perfectly happy with my cheap double walled plastic cup with a lid and matching straw, It was about this time that my wisdom tooth was crying out to leave my mouth. I am almost certain that he bought both cups for himself and decided to give one to me because it had no straw. Nobody wants dry sockets.

I liked the cup. It really did retain the cold temperature and stainless steel does not stain. I accepted my gift of a cup reluctantly. They were exactly alike and I was worried about mix-ups. I don't care for drinking after others. It happened, of course. He would misplace his cup and dump the contents of mine and fill it with Diet Coke and go about his business, When questioned, he would always say, "Oh, I thought it was mine."

This caused me to take action. I grabbed a can of "watermelon" spray paint and painted my cup. Watermelon is hot pink. I figured that would solve the situation. It did, too. He could easily see that the PINK cup was mine and his was silver. Not too long after that he discovered an even bigger Ozark cup and purchased it. So, now, his cup was larger AND a different color.

With all this in mind, imagine my surprise when I picked up my PINK cup that held peach tea I had been sipping all afternoon and took a swallow of peach tea that had been topped off with diet coke!

I was sitting in my recliner, covered in dogs and had no choice but to swallow. It was so disgusting. I sat there wondering what had happened to my tea. I looked across the room at HeWho had annoyed me all day long. "Did you put your nasty Diet Coke in my cup?" He confessed that he did, saying the now famous words 'I thought it was mine'.  "Did you not notice the color and the size of the cup, that would have been a clue!"

He just told me that he was sorry. Given the fact that he had his cup next to him, I knew he had discovered his mistake. I knew he had taken a gulp, putting his cigarette lips on my lid. You would have thought he would pour the contents of my cup out and washed\ the lid. That's what I would have done, but, no, he let me think it was safe to assume that my cup still held my tea that I had been enjoying all day. This just wrong!

I continue to be annoyed.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Paw Prints On My Heart

Although the wind is no longer an issue, the green house is still naked. It is supposed to be a calm day today, so maybe ..........

In the meantime, everything is wet and the wood pile grows larger. We always have trees down after a good storm. I was meandering through the wood pile when I noticed the hollow stump. I claimed it. I will move it to ..... somewhere and fill it with petunias and sweet potato vine. I see two!

All this will eventually find it's way into a fire pit. I am happy to be outside preparing all my gardens. I hear a cold front is headed my way, but I have prepared most of my beds in the front of the park. Today I hope to tackle some of the gardens on sites that are not occupied by those inclined to tend the beds.

I really need to clean my humble abode, but I would always rather be playing in the dirt and I can vacuum when it is too cold to venture out!

So, here we are, me and my canine gang, sipping coffee and catching up on e-mail and such. Eddie is a curious little guy. He likes to perch in the crook of my elbow and watch me type. He also likes to watch TV, like Toni Louise. The other two will only respond to sounds from the TV, but Toni and Eddie like to watch. He has been watching me type for awhile and would seem to be fascinated with the process.

Yesterday, I set my laptop on the floor in front of my chair so that I could let the dogs in. I stopped in the laundry room and grabbed some towels to fold. When I returned to my forgotten laptop, Eddie was gleefully pounding on the keyboard with his big paws. It is really hard to get mad at him, he is just so cute. I will have to be more careful in the future.

Eddies paws concern me. They are really big in proportion to his body. I even mentioned them to the vet. They are much bigger than Cujo's paws and he is full grown. If his feet are any indication of his adult size, he will be a Basset Hound! He is already 7 lbs. and he is supposed to be a mini. That should be his adult weight! Only time will tell.

No matter, I will love him anyway. I see stories all the time about people abandoning their pets when they aren't perfect. Sometimes it is the imperfection that I love the most. Maybe Eddie will be a little guy with huge feet. His paw prints are already on my heart.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Annoyances and Wind

It is probably safe to say what inspired me to make this sign. No, it was not HeWho annoys me.

Yesterday while the weather was as near perfect as could be, I implored him to put the plastic sheeting on my green house. Not that I was not available to help and would do it myself, but it is a two man job. I would have put down anything I was working on, to assist, but HeWho thinks himself to be wise decided that since he would have some help today, it could wait.

When will he learn? I knew that today, the temperature was supposed to start to drop, but more important than that, high gusty winds were in the forecast. Not only did the forecast tell me, my bones were telling me, as well. HeWho broke his knee last year was also complaining last night that his bones were aching.

The green house remains uncovered, just a frame with a top of clear plastic ....... applied with gorilla tape. Not exactly what I had in mind. The wind that funnels along I-70 is legendary in the Spring and Fall. It will pick up the heavy rockers on the front porch and move them from one end to the other. It has only taken 10 years to convince HeWho builds stuff that the gates and doors of any structure should always face north or south. The first enclosure around the pool pump was lifted and taken away, despite the anchors and the cinder blocks holding it. The door was facing east.

Our backyard fence was always blowing down. Because the double wide gate was facing east. When we repaired and reset the fence, his solution was to eliminate the gate entirely. Only access was through a shed, or out the back door. I finally got a gate facing north just last year.

So, I had cautioned him about the green house, telling him that we should build a heavy foundation to eliminate the possibility of the structure heading to Kansas with all my seedlings in tow. He cut some wooden pallets to use as shelves and attached them to the sides. It is now bottom heavy. And the "door" is facing north. But, today, as I was gathering containers of screws and the battery charger for the drill, and all the hand tools he had left out (rain is coming, you know), the wind gave a great gust and lifted the frame by the "roof" that is attached with gorilla tape.

I grabbed the frame and added a considerable amount of weight, while I inched over a cinder block with my foot. I put some more cinder blocks on the bottom of the frame. I had told him this would happen with his makeshift "roof".

So, I am more than a little annoyed. The wind has sent me indoors to do other things. I was in the kitchen, baking a cake with an almost expired mix, to which I was adding an almost expired package of coconut cream pudding. I had just put some paint on a sign I was making at the table, letting it dry while I was mixing the cake and throwing a load of laundry in the washer. The dogs were perfectly happy in the back yard (except for Toni Louise, she knows a storm is brewing and she is already in her safe place). HeWho still thinks he can unfurl that plastic in the wind and secure it to the frame comes in to refill his giant mug of Diet Coke.

He manages to block my access to the refrigerator to get the eggs for the cake, then he decides the dogs need to be inside and continues to hold me captive in the kitchen corner while he kneels down to watch Eddie eat and talk to him. When he finally decides to exit my area, he turns off the lights over the table. I am really annoyed now. He will come in all the time and turn on lights and the TV, then walk out and not turn anything off! So, why does he need to turn off a light I am using?

I have no idea what task he is now performing outside. I just hope he stays out there until dark! By then I should be in a better frame of mind, well, unless I look out to see the frame of my green house float by.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Redneck Nightclub

The weather is amazing today. I got so much done in my gardens .... wearing capri's and sandals! I was doing chores I normally do in April. The trees are budding and the daffodils and daylilies have poked up through the soil. I removed all the dead leaves, chopped down my ornamental grasses and the tops of the mums. Fresh green growth is already coming up. I just hope we don't have a hard freeze again.

This only about 1/4 of what I gathered to burn. You can clearly see the outer workings of HeWho's beloved junk barn area. I plan to fence this area off and rid it of grass. Gravel is low maintenance and anything behind his fence will be obscured by the fence. A play area for him to tinker to his heart's content.

In the meantime, this is where I burn things. And like the sign at the beginning says ...... this is our nightclub.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Hearing and Listening

I neglected to share the story of the hearing aid procurement with the world. They are used. Found in a wrecked car. I was appalled when HeWho cannot hear presented them like a golden treasure for my approval. "Um, you are not sticking those in your ears, are you?" I asked. He looked at me and asked why that would not be okay. He promised to clean them with alcohol .......

Fortunately, our eye care giver, Barb, has moved to a larger location and leased out some space to a hearing aid provider. All she needs now is a dentist and they could call the business "The Head Shop". I do realize that would be confusing on so many levels. The name shall remain "Here's Two Eyes" in Troy, Missouri. You will be able to see and hear after you go there. HeWho needed new glasses needed to pick them up and while there he visited the hearing aid office.

For less than $200, she reprogrammed the device to fit his needs and re-outfitted the tubing and the part that actually goes in your ear. I feel so much better about them now. I am not all that keen on used appliances that fit into any part of my body. Like used dentures? I won't add any more examples, just use your own imagination.

Now that I have totally grossed everyone out ..... I am happy to report that we can now watch TV without having the volume loud enough for the entire park to hear. So, he can see better and he can hear better, but this does not mean that he can LISTEN better.

Our toaster is on it's last leg. The middle element is no longer working and you have to flip your toast. So, just like I did when faced with replacing my hand mixer, I did a little research. I found a toaster oven/toaster combination that is nice and compact and mentioned that I wanted to order it. It comes in red and in black. While I would prefer the black, I will settle for the red, because it was $20 cheaper. I also ordered the stand mixer with the detachable hand mixer. If we are going to live in the motorhome, we should definitely get multi-use appliances that take up as little space as possible.

I said all this to HeWho can hear just the other day. Today, he went to Walmart to get drinking water and some kind of something having to do with the engine of his vehicle. He told me and I just realized that I also have selective hearing, because I did not pay attention to what he said. This is a sad revelation, the fact that I also have faults ........ But, getting back to HeWho has far more faults that I .....

While at Walmart he bought something for me. He thought I would be thrilled that he had paid attention to me and that I would not have to worry about getting a new toaster to replace the old one. He was close, really close. It is red and it toasts bread. But for only $5 more, I think we can wait for the combination toaster oven/toaster.