Dog Devotion

We have had a few rough nights here. When I say we, I mean me and my old guy, Oscar. He usually sleeps peacefully after his midnight drink of water. But for several nights he has whimpered all night.

I get up and take him out and tell him to show me what he wants. Sometimes he will head to the back door or the water bowl, but mostly he just appears to be miserable. I can feel his tummy churning when I pick him up and he seems to be losing more weight. His spine is defined, I find myself running the pads of my fingers over the ridges.

I long for the time when he was a puppy. When a puppy cries he is either lonely or hungry, both easily solved. Oscar loved to be cuddled, always claiming his space next to me whenever I sat down. He always enjoyed napping with my dad when he was visiting. He seemed to crave attention and loved to be touched and held. Now I am always afraid I will hurt him when I pick him up.

He still wants my company, but is no longer cuddly. I want to comfort him and can't. It just breaks my heart to hear his whimpers and know that there is nothing I can do. Only when he is fresh from sleep will he curve into my arms and let me hold him.

I know he is old and I know I can't make him live forever. His last check up found him to be quite healthy. His heart is very strong and he still has some vision. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is just a reaction to a new brand of food I tried. He only has a few teeth and tends to swallow his food whole, so I tried some new canned food. I miss that annoying puppy that loved to run after a ball over and over again.