I Am The Kampground Bouncer!!

Friday night in a campground, one hour to go. I can't wait to lock the door and get into a steaming hot shower! Thursday and Friday are mow days. After I finished my tasks I painted three picnic tables and helped move one of the new ones onto a site. The new tables are really nice, but super heavy.

My run over tree is alive and well. I think it will survive. Still wonder why anybody was on that driveway ....

You will recall my recent success in evicting an unpleasant dweller. I may live to regret that! Since I seem to be more adept at this task, it has fallen on me to do it again. I guess you could say I am the bouncer of undesirable campers.

The non paying tenant failed to meet the deadline of paying rent, so I decided to cut my losses and just kick him out. There were a parade of various women showing up and staying at his camper. Before you get the wrong idea, he was not there. My soft hearted husband did not think it would be nice to make them leave after he had someone come up with a partial payment of less than a third of the money he owes us with a promise of another like payment to be delivered last Friday.

I nagged until Sunday, trying to convince HeWho is always up for a hard luck story, to pull the plug and lock the box on this camper. He finally did on Sunday .... or he said he did. I was annoyed at him for reasons too numerous to count and found myself closing up early with a bottle of wine in my hand. Oddly enough that wine seemed to add fuel to my annoyances!

I meandered down to sit at a fire with some friends who were nice enough to suggest I might enjoy sipping the wine from a glass instead of straight from the bottle. I declined, although I did offer to share, but since I had no takers on my offer, I decided it would just be wasteful to employ a glass that would have to be washed.

About one third of the way to the bottom of the bottle I noticed that the plug of the non paying tenant was situated securely in the electrical outlet provided by the fact that we pay the bills. This did not sit well with me and after a few more sips (gulps) of my whine, I decided to correct the problem.

I marched over to the box and yanked the offending cord out and flung it dramatically to the ground. That felt pretty good, so I followed up with a knock to the door. I knew someone was in there, as I had seen movement in the window and a vehicle was parked there. A young woman answered my knock ........ with her shirt hiked up and her hand rubbing her belly. Her jeans were splayed open and not zipped or buttoned. I was not impressed with her and regret not having told her to pull her pants up before answering the door.

What I did say was, "I have unplugged you .... plug it in again and I will cut the plug off that cord. Do you understand what I just said to you?"
Still rubbing her exposed belly she nodded in the affirmative. I asked her why she was there and she told me that non paying tenant had requested that she watch his dog in his absence. "You need to get the dog and get your things and leave. You are not a registered guest and you have no business here in my campground." Then she told me there was NO DOG there!

"Which begs the question ... what are you doing here?" She started with the simpering story of watching a non existent dog again and I raised my voice and demanded that she leave immediately. I was not nice at all, I may have told her to get her $#*# together and go or I would be calling law enforcement since she was trespassing.

She remarked that she could not believe I was doing this and I replied, "Believe it, sister, and spread the word!!" I still regret not addressing her attire. She left, the camper is still unplugged and we have heard nothing from non paying tenant.

Now I just need to figure out a way to remove his fifth wheel since I have rented his site to another long term camper next month. I suggested that HeWho tows borrow the wrecker and drag it out. He says it will damage it, that it needs a fifth wheel hitch. Really, I don't care. I want it gone, along with all the bags of trash accumulated outside the door. Cigarette butts adorn the area and I need to clean it up for my next tenant. I say just pull the wrecker in behind it and shove it out.

Legally I could lock it and put a lien on it, but it is not worth what he owes us. We get stuck with abandoned RV's from time to time and end up having to pay to have them removed.