Saturday, June 10, 2017

My Back Hurts ......

Yesterday as I wandered Walmart, waiting for my RX transaction, I ended up in the ladies unmentionables clearance section. I had already rescued some clearance plants before the issue of calling the clinic came up, so I had to choose something else to entertain myself with.

I pawed through some panties and bras, looking for some nice durable cotton sports bras. They soak up the sweat that would otherwise roll down my back and make me think a tick was crawling. I hit a section of Playtex bras. These were some really big bras for those women with very large extraordinary proportions. I was somewhat fascinated as one of them was large enough for my derriere. It could have been used as a slingshot to propel me to the other side of the store.

I found a smaller bra among the magnificent ones. It was in my size, but boasted a double letter cup. I took it out of the package and found the cup size to be reasonable. It was a mere $5, so I treated myself to that and a 3 pack of my sturdy sweat soaking sports bras. First thing I did was toss them all in the washer. I always wash unmentionables before placing them on my body.

So, today I grabbed that new 18 hour bra and donned it, along with my new $3 t-shirt with glittery butterflies adorning the front. I was quite sure that my daughters would have had lots of fun critiquing my attire. But, as I looked down to make sure the shirt was not on backwards or inside out (these things happen, you know), I noticed something amazing.

The laws of gravity were no longer in place!! My breasts were suddenly back where they used to reside some 20 years ago! I could not see my feet when I looked down. The girls were back in town!

It was the bra, the 18 hour $5 bra! I did take note that this was not the most comfortable bra I had ever worn. It was itchy. But it did make those butterflies stand out and it was too late to change, people were coming in the store and the phone is ringing every few minutes.

I have been wearing this 18 hour bra for almost 10 hours now and my back is hurting. If I knew I had to STAY in this bra for a full 18 hours I would want to scream!

Does look nice, though.


Val said...

Wow, $5 for an 18-Hour bra? That's only about 28 cents an hour! Plus tax...

Debby said...

Great posts! I laughed all the way through it.

Linda O'Connell said...

You tickled my funny bone, sling shot that would fit your butt! You have a way with words. What a deal on that Playtex 18 hour!