Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pool Seating

A few years back, well, more than a few, more like 5 or 6, a friend gifted us with two dozen Adirondack plastic pool chairs. Last year saw them broken daily. I knew they wouldn't last forever, but a little more delicacy on the part of our swimmers may have extended the life.

They were not meant to be set in the water front down for the back to be used as a diving board. Not only that, they should have come with a weight regulation. The rule being, if you need to purchase 2 seats in order to fly, then perhaps you should take your own sturdy chair to the pool. One without arms that would dig in between your waist and hips, thus not allowing you to rise from the chair.

No, not me, thank you very much. I have enough sense to look at something before I sit in it. How embarrassing would it be to have a plastic chair stuck to your derriere?? I fit into the chairs, as did most adults with little difficulty, other than the fact that they were low seated. I am speaking of morbidly obese. One such woman came to our pool and proceeded to get her self stuck in not one, but three chairs. She would then waddle into the water and bounce against the floor of the pool until the chair would break in two and release her.

Three times. Not once, once should have been the wake up call that let her know she shouldn't sit in the next chair. On her third water bouncing trick, HeWho is definitely lacking in diplomacy, had been alerted and was there to see the show. He asked her what she was doing and she informed him that our chairs were of inferior quality (not the words she used, she said something else entirely, like piece of $hi!).

HeWho has to be provoked to get angry. This did provoke him, as he was picking up pieces of chairs to dispose of. His answer started with "Lady ..." I always associate "lady" with a man about to enlighten me about something he thinks I am incapable of understanding. HeWho seldom uses that term and never to me. He proceeded to enlighten her about the size of her derriere and what it would and would not fit into. He used plain words, words easily understood by a child.

She has never returned to swim. I doubt it had anything to do with the humiliation of being stuck in a chair, but more to do with her venomous hatred of HeWho just told it like it was. Anyhoo, I have been searching for a chair solution since.

Being a big Pinterest fan I centered my search there, leaving HeWho is not a big DIY fan to do the retail search. I found a pallet design I liked and I e-mailed to my husband sitting mere inches from me. Since he refuses to wear his hearing aids, I have taken to texting and e-mail as a main form of communication.

He agreed that it was worth a try and I started my nagging campaign in February. Pallets, we needed pallets. There is a tractor supply place right down the road from us and they always have lots of pallets. It is a small independently owned place and HeWho sold an old tractor to them. He knows them. I, the prisoner held captive and tethered to a phone line rarely leave and when I do, I would not be frequenting a tractor supply place. I asked HeWho was familiar with the owner to inquire about the mound of pallets.

He conveniently "forgot"! Over and over again. I stayed with my reminding (aka nagging) and he would say he would do it that afternoon, or the next day. Februaury rolled into March, then April. He actually called me one day on his way somewhere and mentioned that the tractor place had a lot of pallets. I wanted to scream. Finally, I just gave up and told him we would have to buy some chairs.

This seemed to give him the impetus needed to stop at the tractor supply and find out that they wanted the pallets gone and we could take all we wanted!!!!!! I was in DIY heaven. Until I started trying to take one apart. The nails refused to succumb to my two hammered efforts. Kamper, Terry, suggested sawing through the nails. Off to Walmart for blades and HeWho is certain that I will cut my fingers off with power tools went to work on the pallet.

It was already June when he finally constructed one chair. I painted the chair and other than the fact that it was not a truly level chair, it turned out pretty good. He altered the pattern a bit and the chair seat is 4 feet long, the back about 30 inches high and tilted at a comfortable angle. It is not adjustable, but you can put your feet up. The seat is 30" wide and it has no arms to grab fat hips. Very sturdy.

No, the chair you see in the picture is not the pallet chair. HeWho is wise in such matters, decided to purchase the wood instead, citing the cost of the blades to be astronomical. I realize he just did not want to have to take those pallets apart, but what ever. That is chair number 4 you see on the work table. I found the lovely shade of pool blue paint on the "oops" rack and purchased it for cheap. White outdoor paint for the rest of the chair.

This is chair number 5 of the 6 pool chairs now residing poolside. We have it down now and are mass producing. A total of 9 chairs will be at the pool. I am searching for golf umbrellas (cheap) to hook to the sides. Each chair cost $11 in lumber. A lot cheaper than anything I saw retail.

I am quite pleased with the results! But .... why didn't I think of this before?


carol pavlik said...

You make me laugh. As a plus size woman I scope out chairs very carefully. I have actually seen a big woman go through the plastic webbing of a lawn chair. It took two strong men to get her out. Your new chairs look very attractive and hopefully will not be broken.

Kathy G said...

I think your new chairs look very classy.

Val said...

Ooh! I love those chairs! We use the pallets to build various themed shacks. And by WE, I mean my husband Hick. His take-apart boy only has a couple months left before he ships off to college, though.

Karen said...

Love the chairs, love the colors, love the story! lol