I couldn't get to sleep last night. I was still up when love of my life got home at 11:45. I was still awake at 1:00. The full moon kept peeking at me through the blinds. I was tired, but couldn't quite make it all the way to a restful slumber. I like that word, slumber. Brings images of sleeping children, all tucked in without a care in the world to mind. I dozed on and off. I dreamed many, mini dreams. I don't remember all of them and I guess I should be thankful for that.
Since I am really tired today I can only assume that these dreams were action dreams that I had starring roles in. I have a recurring dream in which I am driving downhill towards a stop sign or a red light (this detail varies) and I am pushing the brakes with all my might and cannot stop. I always wake up before I arrive at whatever disaster awaits me. It feels very real and I am breathless as my heart is pumping wildly. During the day I will remember snippets of other dreams and most of those are recurring dreams as well.
It leaves me not well rested physically and somewhat troubled as I stumble through the day, hoping it ends soon so that I can crawl into bed and try again for that refreshment of body and soul that I long for. It is with this attitude that I slip out to my garden early this morning. My garden isn't exactly thriving this year and I am carefully picking butter beans for my daughter's visit next week. I take the phone with me into my solitude and it does not disappoint as I go from one problem call to the next.
Feeling like I can't satisfy anyone I finally give up and go inside. Fed-EX arrives with a shipment of some big something for the pipe-line crew and I drag myself out to sign for it. Thinking that it will be unloaded and they will get it when whoever ordered it comes in this afternoon I head to the back of the van with the delivery lady. She opens the door and casually mentions that it weighs 340 lbs. I rouse the sleeping one and go off to find the man who ordered it as I am disinclined to help unload it. Of course he is not there and we have to wait for his arrival. I hide in the house drinking coffee and let love of my life entertain the driver.
I am glad I let him charm her, cause she gifted him a raspberry Danish Kringle. You would have thought neither of us had eaten in a month. We tore pieces off and ate, then tore and ate again. I notice that when I am tired I tend to eat more in an effort to stay somewhat alert. I always feel heavy in my mind as well as my stomach when I finally do get to go to sleep.
I made a dental appointment yesterday for next Wed. That gives me almost a whole week to anticipate......and not in a good way. Maybe that is what caused me to dream. Whatever it was I intend to empty my mind before I lay me down to sleep.................