Saturday, August 22, 2009

Anonymous

Have you ever felt hate? I am sure from time to time you have met people who don't particularly like you, nor you them. That is not what I am referring to. When you don't care to be in the presence of someone you usually simply remove yourself and go on about your business. That is what I do. But, I am talking about a very palpable feeling of hatred.

We all say "Oh, I just hate her, she thinks she is better than me." Or, as I have been known to say to friends who have achieved a goal that I have not yet reached, "I hate you." Really meaning that I am a little jealous. These are common statements we all have made from time to time and those that we made them to realized the context.

Lately I have felt pure hate coming from the anonymous commenter on my blog. Given the onslaught of responders to the comments, I am not the only one who had that perception. The latest comment was vile. I had written posts about my recent visits with my grandchildren along with pictures. I felt compelled to take them down because I do not want them viewed by this commenter. I feel a threat to myself from some of the statements made by "anonymous". I find myself double checking the locks on my doors and staying close to the main building. I think that this person(s) means me harm. I feel it come through the words she/he has written. No matter that the text is poorly constructed with misspellings and grammatical errors........... I feel the threat.

It doesn't help that this person(s) is living in my park. From the context of the last comment I can assume that she/he plans to leave soon. I am hopeful that this is true. The last comment also indicated that they would no longer be reading my blog, although I doubt that is true. I seem to have struck a chord with whoever this is and they keep returning. I know that I can delete the comments and that I can block the commenter...... However, that will not stop them from reading my words. And.... it won't stop them from hating me.

Nobody wants to be disliked this intensely. I am not naive enough to think that everyone will like me and want to be my friend. I don't like everyone I meet and I tend to choose my friends with great care.

I have felt restrained in my writing of late. My thoughts aren't simply running onto the keyboard in a hurry to be read. I had a long chat with my son the other night and he helped me put it all into perspective. He reminded me that not everyone will agree with or even like what I have to say. He told me that not every column written or book written has everyone for a fan, no matter how popular the writer or the subject matter. I suppose I will have to take the good with the bad.

A very dear friend commiserated with me this very day and asked me a very important question. She wanted to know if this anonymous commenter was affecting my writing. I had to answer that it was. I found myself editing my thoughts and words before they hit the "paper".

13 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

This will teach me to use the old computer. It cut me off and published before I was finished with my thoughts.

This post is to serve notice to anonymous that I have no intention of changing my style of reporting my view of the world.

Jilly said...

I love you! You are warm, caring, loving, nurturing, kind-hearted, funny, sweet...I could go on and on. Everyone that loves you feels blessed to have you in their life. This person has said that I would be better off without you and there could be nothing further from the truth. They don't truly know you and for them to presume that they do is ridiculous. You know that your character is solid and the fact that they are questioning it means maybe they should have a look at their own. You rock!

lovelyprism said...

Kathy, have you deleted this persons comments? I seem to be missing a lot of drama. Lucky me. The thing I think you should keep in mind is that this person is just a bully. They've chosen to attack you online because they're too cowardly to confront you. Your park is lovely, your stories are lovely and Jilly is a good testament to our character analysis of you. I hope and I'm right, I don't think you need to worry. And as soon as the bully leaves your park he will forget all about you because he will move on to another victim.

a corgi said...

you have to wonder what pain that anonymous commenter is in that they feel they have to take it out on another person, that is soooo sad, but I have heard it happen time after time after time in this land of blogs. people, like you, have felt threatened by the "trolls" we call them that stalk people and harrass people like this person is doing

my only advice, and I tell this to every single person, is be very careful what you write that is of a personal nature. of course having a campground makes you a bit of a "public figure" but you just never know who is reading this stuff, even someone who may not be leaving a comment but checking things out where you are at. that's why I'm very private on my journal as far as names used and location where we are at.....maybe I'm a bit paranoid, but you just never know

so do be safe and write what you feel you need to, but do be careful

betty

deborahjcolburn said...

ok, I'm going to try for the third time...

Jilly, You Rock!!! is my line since you know I work for Prudential...

Kathy, Bravo, take your power back...xoxo

Nancy said...

Some people have to have someone to hate. It moves from person to person. That person becomes the lightening rod for their anger. That being said, being aware of your surroundings and the people that live there is important. I worry about too much information being said on my blog, too. But we are who we are. We can't let the haters win!

Jilly - You said it well!

ellen abbott said...

Kathy, I think you have a great blog and I hate that you are holding back because of some coward who won't reveal themselves and is being hateful and threatening. You should just block anonymous comments. Why should you be fair? It's your blog. If someone was in your house saying those things to you or about you would you suffer them to remain? Hell, no, you would be ushering them out the door. If they have no audience, they will lose interest.

I tend to be open on my blog. It is who I am.

The Good Cook said...

Kathy, first - has this anonymous threatened you? If so - you have only one recourse - go to the police.

If anonymous is leaving hateful, nasty comments, block all anonymous comments.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Some people are so angry at the world they choose to lash out at whoever is handy. I bet they have done this before to others and will continue long after they have left you.. so sad. Such a waste of energy.

Meggie said...

Kathy, I was shocked to think someone could be so petty as to do such a wicked thing. On the other hand if this person is sick (& I mean mentally) it is not surprising. I love reading your posts, & see & hear your wisdom.
What a shame I cannot see your wonderful grandchildren, whom you obviously love dearly.
Hugs from Downunder!!

Missy said...

Wow, Kathy, I hadn't read that last anon post until just reading your entry. This is getting a little serious. If you decide to delete those posts, I would print them first in case you need them to show the police. I've been in a situation where threatened before and evidence is helpful if they are to do anything about it. Hopefully it does not come to that and they just move on. Prayers coming your way for the whole situation. I agree wtih whoever said anonymous should have their own blog. That person has a lot to say.

Rae said...

I found your blog and I am so pleased that I did. You have excellent material and it is well written. I have enjoyed going back through some of your previous posts.

I have missed out on your problem with the anonymous commenter. It must be frustrating dealing with that issue. I can only offer a limited opinion but I hope you do not change your content. You have much to offer. I have added myself as a follower.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

I'm so sorry this person has caused you such grief. Maybe he/she will actually move on and get a real life instead of one who hides behind the anonymous written word.

Hit 40 said...

Very nice post. You were very kind to the anonymous commenter. I also try to bend over backward to be kind to others even when they do not deserve the same respect. I hope they find another camp ground.