I should be making better use of my time and cleaning my house. What can I say......rainy days and Mondays always get me down. It is not the rain, we needed a good soaking and I love it when it rains. Monday....I like Monday. I align my week and mentally take stock of what I want to accomplish on Mondays.
Drama, it must be the drama. I am currently in the midst of a drama. There are always undercurrents of mini dramas that I am on the outskirts of. People seem to want to confide in and confess to me. Don't know why.........
I seem to be privy to relationship problems, mechanical problems, financial problems. Most of it I simply shove to the back of my mind, knowing that it is none of my business and only will be if it affects the rent or living conditions of the confessor. Some of it, however does affect me in a profound way.
I don't particularly like being in the middle of family situations. I don't like being pushed to "choose sides". I doubt that any of us do. That being said.....when you push me you can expect to either be pushed back to the point of resolving an issue or you will push me away for good. Display your ugly side to me and you need to be prepared to see mine (we all have one).
I have been trying to wrap my mind around a particular situation for several days now. There really is no right or wrong way to handle it. It involves feelings and I have learned that when we feel that we are under attack by someone that we care about [and would like to think are held in the esteem] there will be no winner declared. No matter how we would like to apply super glue and go on there will always be a little ridge there now.
"Why can't we all just get along?" How many times have I asked my children that question? Experience has shown that things rarely run smoothly on a consistent basis. Your family is always your family and will always forgive you.....that is another rarity. Loyalty is a fickle thing. Even if you hold yourself to the highest of standards and think that you are the most loyal and caring of friends.....not everyone will have that perception. I always want my friends to think well of me. They will as long as you play on their team, but what if you want to divide your time and play on another team on occasion?
Would a true friend question your motives? Would a true friend display feelings of jealousy? Would a true friend ask you to ignore your responsibilities to do what you think is right? Hurt feelings can cause all of us to act in ways that are childish.
I would like to think that I am above such behaviour and I have to confess that I am not. Like I said, when I am pushed, I tend to push back in like terms. It is easy to see in others, not so much in yourself. Today will be a day of self examination.
When you think back on all the people that you have ever come into contact with, it becomes apparent rather quickly that there are just a few that you really connect with. If this is true for you as it is for me, then I am sure will agree with me that those are the friends you truly cherish. I have recently come to be friends with just such a person and I now feel that I have been put in a position of choosing sides............ Unfair, you might say, but what would you do?