Monday, June 25, 2012
Hi, Wall-E here today, writing for Gramma. In case you don't know me, I am the adorable white dog in the picture with Gavin. He is my boy. Gramma is not "at the top of her game" today ..... she says stuff like that all the time. It means she is not feeling so good. Why she can't just say that, I do not know.
I volunteered to write for her today to share some good news. Actually, I am having a wonderful day. The kitten named Martha got into big trouble with Gramma and I am not ashamed to tell you how happy that has made me. I do not care at all for the kitten. He bites and has some wicked claws. I just stay away from him. I saw what he did to Oscar. Oscar was playing with him and he reached into Oscar's mouth and grabbed his lip with those claws and hung on. Oscar cried!
I heard Gramma tell the kitten called Martha to stop biting customers. (Martha lives in the store where Gramma works.) Martha did not stop, so Gramma must have picked him up and he must have bitten Gramma, because I heard Gramma ask Martha if he had gone insane. Then she asked Martha if he remembered who Gramma was. He must have amnesia because he chose to bite Gramma again. Gramma gave him a good thump to the head and I could barely believe what I heard next ........... Martha hissed and spit and then growled at Gramma!!!
The I heard Gramma say, "That's it, mister, you have earned yourself some time alone in the kennel!" It is my kennel and I was opposed to Martha using it at all ....... until today. The use of my kennel as a jail to punish Martha is quite appealing to me. Gramma has removed all the comforts from the kennel and Martha was tossed in the klinker with no blanket, no food and no toys!
All of us dogs were happy about this, we celebrated quietly, lest Gramma scold us for being mean and reminding us that we had all been in her cross-hairs at some time when we were learning rules. Gramma is like that, you know. She did let Martha out after an hour of solitary confinement. Martha was stubborn at first and just stared at her from the back of the kennel, refusing to come out. Gramma told him to suit himself, but to think first in the future before disobeying her.
My other good news? I wrote a book. No, really I did. It has been published and was released already. I know this because Papa found it on Amazon. He said, "Hey Wall-E, your book is on Amazon!" I am not sure what or who Amazon is, but they have my book!! I know I am not listed as the author, Gramma is. Something about me not being able to sign contracts or some such nonsense. I have a perfectly good paw and Gramma has an ink pad! Did you know that my paw print is unique? Gramma told me so and just in case you don't know ........ Gramma knows EVERYTHING. Really, she does.
So, look on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble ...... I am famous! My picture is right there on the cover. It says 'Letters To Gavin' right above my picture. My boy is famous, too! Gramma says that soon we will have my books right here in our store. If you want an autograph, you will want to get your book here. Famous, I tell you, I am famous!