Monday, October 19, 2009

When the going gets tough, the tough.....mow

Thank you one and all for your comments and good thoughts. It has been a difficult weekend for me. I managed to conduct business on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday I put a sign on the door and spent the day going through old photos. I didn't find that many of my son and I am still searching through photo boxes.

Today I have been on the phone all day. Details, so many details to handle. Just when you think everything is settled, someone else tosses a monkey wrench (so to speak) on all the plans. I am content to let everyone else handle it. The memorial service is not for the person gone, but those left.

I finally gave up and put my sneakers on and went out to mow. After a week of raining non-stop, it was satisfying to do something that showed immediate results. I remembered as I mowed that my son, Bobby, hated mowing. There was not a blade he could not destroy 5 minutes into the job. I doubt he ever actually mowed a whole yard. After replacing several blades we decided it would be less expensive and frustrating to just do the job ourselves. Good thing I like to mow.

15 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

Hang in there kiddo...you are very loved. Remember that you are never alone.

SkippyMom said...

I am glad you took some time to yourself [even if it is mowing :)]but I know what you mean.

And what Living on the Spit said. Take care and if you need anything, you know how to find us.

Hugs.

ellen abbott said...

Sometimes mindless activity is just what you need. Thank god for grass, right? If there was a magic word to make it all right for you, I would gladly utter it.

The Good Cook said...

I just went back and read your previous post. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I will keep you, your family and your son in my prayers. Hang in there and try to surround yourself with calm and love.

Linda

Pat said...

Take that time to think back on those good memories you had of Bobby. Remember that time does heal all wounds. I am hurting for you, my friend.

Hit 40 said...

I am sorry for your loss. I am at a loss for words. All I could think to do is close my eyes and say a prayer for god to be with you.

You love your family. I have enjoyed your posts about your grandchildren. You would have done anything for your son. He knew that you loved him.

Sandi McBride said...

I was playing blog catch up and found your previous post about your son. Kathy, I can not tell you how much I was touched by this. No parent should ever have to bury a child, but unfortunately it happens more and more often...you have to know that life choices are made by the individual, not by the mother or father. Please don't take on guilt where none is implied. Our prayers are with you and warm healing hugs are winging their way to you!
Sandi

lifein3dee said...

Hugs, love and prayers

Rae said...

I have been offline for several days and am just now reading my favorite blogs. I was stunned when I read yours. I am so sorry for your loss. Despite the estrangement from your son, I know this is still a very difficult time. I too have a son I have not seen in a long time and I can imagine the emotions that you are dealing with at this time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ((((HUGS))))

Alix said...

Oh no! Looks like I have much catching up to do. I don't even know who you lost.

I'm so sorry, Kathy. Been gone to NY all last week with limited computer access. Will go catch up on your blog posts right now.

My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you honey.

scarlethue said...

Oh, Kathy, I am so sorry. I know you have spoken of your son to me before since I am estranged from my older brother for many of the same reasons. I've often wondered how I would feel if he died. My thoughts are with you this week. Take care of yourself.

Meggie said...

Physical activity is a great stress reliever. I wish you peace.

hummer said...

It is tough. Sorry for your loss and offer hugs across the internet.
May you feel the loving arms of comfort.

Mike McFall said...

So very sorry to hear of your loss. I don't know which is worse, losing a child you aren't close too, or one that you are extremly close too. Neither are any fun. Just 1 year ago last June we lost our 47 year old son Scott that we were extremly close to... It nearly killed me, I still miss him so much. He was such a good kid and always so friendly and respectful. I confided in him constantly... His faith was very strong all the way through the battle with cancer.. After 10 months of hard fighting he couldn't take it any more.. His strong heart kept on working, even when everything else had shut down. He always wanted to Rv like his Dad when he retired...
I didn't want to live without him and I moped around and mourned for over a year,,,finally God spoke to me and told me that Scott would want me to go on and not suffer the way I was......So I jerked myself up and came alive again. I now feel so lucky that God shared him with me for 47 years......Thank You God. I will go on with my life and enjoy it, because that is what Scott would want....
Scott is now at that great Campground in the sky. I hope I can camp there one day......

God bless you and may God give you the strength to continue on. Like I say, its not easy, but you can do it....God will help you.

Mike & Pat McFall
http://mikepatstravels.blogspot.com/

otin said...

OMG I am very very sorry for your loss. I hate that I had to come here at this time. My thoughts are with you!