So, today, I hopped into the shower straight away. Grocery supplies are low. I have been lazy, people. I have not properly stocked my larder. The biggest tragedy being the lack of dog treats. Shame on me.
HeWho is the giver of treats to the critters. They have a routine and upon his return form his morning McBiscuit, he doles out the dental chews. I am the giver of the eats and the water .... the necessities of life. I am also the one who keeps those critters clean.
I tossed the keys to HeWho acts as my man-servant and he started the vehicle, then came back for the broom to sweep all the snow off my hood. He had already filled it with fuel. I don't do this, as I am a delicate being and I have someone who loves me enough to do it for me. Really not delicate, just don't want to.
I opened the mail before I left. I got my Medicare card today! Feeling special, senior citizeny, I hopped on the interstate and pointed my car towards Walmart. Not in the market for clothes, I perused the clearance racks anyway. I got a pair of sweatpants for $1. Who could walk by that bargain? Not me. I picked up a cute little (not that little, actually) top for another dollar. It was like I was in The Dollar Tree! My clearance shopping did not stop in the ladies department. HeWho now has a $3 flannel shirt. It was only fair.
One thing I did choose not to buy, despite the amazing price and the fact that it was my size, I just could not see me in pleather leggings. No need to make thunder thighs shine, that only makes things look larger. I did have a good laugh, though. Some people looked at me and kept their distance. Okay by me, I don't like to be crowded.
The moral to the story, well, there are two:
1. If you want your space, act a little crazy, people will leave you alone. Unless you happen upon a kindred spirit, then you will have someone to laugh with you.
2. Fat people do not wear pleather. They should not wear pleather, that is. Really shouldn't.
5 comments:
You might get even more space if you WERE wearing pleather. Or maybe you'd be like the Pied Piper of Pleather-Wearers, and lead them out of Walmart.
For the record, skinny people shouldn't wear pleather either... no one should wear pleather... LOL!
I have a problem with leggings, too. But then, I'm an old people.
fat people shouldn't wear leggings period. in fact nobody should wear legging unless they are wearing a top that comes at least to their knees. unless you are in yoga class. then it's OK to wear leggings.
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