Words Never To Cross My Lips Again

It is three degrees outside and not that much warmer in here. I can't seem to get the wood stoves fired up and if I add any more layers to this already rotund body I won't be able to move! I have decided to try to enjoy weather this year. I know this sounds crazy. But take a moment and think--we always bemoan either extreme of the thermometer and wish for the opposite; so why not embrace the now? Strange things happen all the time here and I have learned to bite my tongue the hard way. The registration form we use to check in our campers is a standard form that was being used when we purchased this park. It has all the usual info requirements--ie, name, address, phone#...and it also asks for license plate of your vehicle. Some RVers have that info with them when they come in to register, but most don't. They will ask if I have to have it and I used to say, "Not really, what would I do with it?". What would I do indeed. Well , had I had that particular info on the man who hurled the large outdoor ash bin at me I could have provided it along with my description to the deputy when I filed my complaint. Another one of my naive assumptions was that there was nothing one would want to steal from a campsite. I was wrong on that count. I am always amazed at the number of sewer caps that 'disappear'. They don't cost that much and can be purchased at most building supply places, so they aren't hard to come by. It seems they fit the holding area that stores the sewer hoses on most rigs----but why would you want to take a USED one? Of course even higher on the 'eeeeew' scale would be whoever stole the used toilet plungers out of the bathrooms. I remain appalled. So never again can I quip, "No, I don't need that, you aren't going to steal anything are you?" I am learning. I always feel the need to chatter away while my customer fills out the form and we do have a lot of return business, so my new quip turned into "Well you aren't going to murder anyone while you are here, are you?" Yep, you guessed it...I can never say that again. Nothing quite like having local law enforcement request your presence at the crime scene to facilitate their investigation. So you would think I had seen and heard it all......... not so much, actually. We have lots of seasonal campers and most of them are here at least twice a month. We look forward to these "visits" and have become close friends with more than a few. While sitting around a campfire you tend to wonder many scenarios--particularly when a glass of wine (or two) may be involved. One of these musings was to get a bull horn and announce to the campers that it is "nude night" and everyone who wants to participate should go ahead and disrobe. We would then speculate who would actually get naked. Much laughter would follow. As of this week I can no longer make this speculation. We had an inquiry about a group of 60 or more who would like to reserve the entire tent area in mid May. I said yes with the stipulation that they remain secluded and agree to cover themselves should anyone complain. I guess I now need to explore any legal issues that might arise (among other things that might be arising....). The couple who came in to make this request were not exactly what I would have ever expected to be nudists. They looked to be in their 60's and (how can I put this nicely) not exactly fit. Okay, they were both fat....and not just a little. Unless gravity has worked in an extreme way I am confident that the gentleman mentioned will not even be noticed due to his big belly. I have already referred to myself as rotund and being of a particular age, am fighting gravitation myself. Modesty aside, I feel the need to dress this self before displaying it to the world at large. But..or should I say butt.. I need the money. Maybe I can find enough vouyers to fill the remaining sites that weekend, then everyone should be happy.