Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sad

In our second season here in the park we met a wonderful couple. She was fun and outrageous and he was full of wit and insight. We hit it off immediately and became fast friends. He who is not likely to remember names gave them new names. Pete and Paula. All I can say is that the first letters are right. He does this a lot.

Pete and Paula came to the hospital and sat with my husband while I went under the knife and came out with our dinner when I was came home from the hospital. Just wonderful caring people. We stayed in contact with each other after they decided to no longer have a seasonal site. Just phone calls mostly. It is so hard to get out of the park for any appreciable amount of time. I was thinking of them earlier this week. Paula had said that they might try to drive out and visit for an afternoon in the spring and it occurred to me that I had not seen them or heard from them. Pete was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year, but was doing okay last I had talked to them.

They were camping here for the very first time when the rogue hillbilly bunch was here that stole all our firewood. They were in the site next to them and were entertained greatly. They were here when the naked lady made her debut. Paula has a wicked sense of humor and can tell the story so well with her New York accent. Pete is full of dry wit. I miss having them here and coming in every afternoon for their ice cream after they nap.

I am reminiscing with a heavy heart today. I talked to my friend who's real name is Patti this afternoon. She called to let me know that Paul is in kidney failure and will remain at home with hospice in attendance. She was in fairly good spirits as she told me this awful news. Of course she has had time to digest it. Paul also had Alzheimer's and Patti has been his caregiver all these years. Not an easy task to watch someone you love fade away. I have watched her be patient and kind and also seen her at the end of her rope. I am hoping to be able to go visit him one last time next week. I don't know if he will remember me, but I want to go.

I am crying as I write this. I can only imagine how hard this must be for Patti. When we were first married, Drew and I would talk about what would happen should one of us die. We agreed to simply die together. But we had kids, so that wouldn't work out so well for them; so we agreed to wait until we were old to die together.

When he had his heart attack and I realized that he could actually die and leave me here ........ well, it was sobering to say the least. I can't imagine which way would be more devastating......... to know and have to watch and wait or to not know and be suddenly alone. I am not fond of either option. I am just sad.

15 comments:

ellen abbott said...

Terrible and sad.

Brian Miller said...

i am sorry for your friends and for you...when it is time i want it to be time...

Lorenza said...

I am so sorry to know about your friends.
Our thoughts are with them and with you too.
Take care
Lorenza

houndstooth said...

I'm so sorry! One of my grandmothers had Alzheimer's when she passed away and the other had cancer. I wouldn't wish either on anybody! Don't just "try" to go, really do go. I'm betting Patti needs it more than words can say!

jojo said...

I don't like either option myself. We've had the same talk with the same results...
so very sorry for your friend. I do hope you get the chance to see him again but you have wonderful memories to hold you until then. take care..;j

RV Vagabonds said...

The campground will still be there, your friends may not be--go!

Denny and I decided a long time ago that one day we'll just walk off into the desert together when life is nearing its end. Well, either that or one of us will drop the other off. Avoidance technique.

Kathy G said...

So sorry! It's truly hard to lose a friend.

squawmama said...

This was awfly sad... I am sorry about your friend.
{{{HUGS}}}
Donna

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

so very sad. i totally understand patti's highs and lows, and also understand your closing thoughts. it is very hard to sit and watch and wonder when. but, each time i almost had a "when," i thought the bottom of my world had fallen out.

lovelyprism said...

That's so sad. I watched this happen to my parents. My Dad did the best he could but still had days when he just couldn't handle it. He gave up 5 years of his life for my mom. After she died he was just so lost. He made it through 5 years alone after she died and I am convinced he died of a broken heart. I can't even imagine. My marriage fell apart, there's no chance I will be married to someone for 40 years now. I doubt if I will die of a broken heart. I hope you get to see your friend and he has at least a moment of clarity and remembers you.

Whitney Lee said...

Sending warm thoughts your way. It's always sad yet an unfortunate part of life. I really hope you get the chance to get out there.

SkippyMom said...

I'm so sorry sweetie. It is tough. Good thoughts to you. Hugs.

Pat said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Life just sucks sometimes, yes?

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Hi Kathy I came over from Teresa's blog hope that's ok with you. This was such a sad story and made me think of my grandparents my pop passed away last November and we all thought nan would be the one to go first but didn't happen that way. My nan has had Alzheimer's for over 10yrs now.

Meggie said...

Very sad. I know this sadness, and I can say, I wished I could just die with my husband. I feel we did everything together and now he is gone I have only one wing.
'They' keep telling me it will get better and I will 'live' again. I am not sure it will be 'life' I will want.
Thankyou Kathy for your kind words of support and love.XX