Sad

In our second season here in the park we met a wonderful couple. She was fun and outrageous and he was full of wit and insight. We hit it off immediately and became fast friends. He who is not likely to remember names gave them new names. Pete and Paula. All I can say is that the first letters are right. He does this a lot.

Pete and Paula came to the hospital and sat with my husband while I went under the knife and came out with our dinner when I was came home from the hospital. Just wonderful caring people. We stayed in contact with each other after they decided to no longer have a seasonal site. Just phone calls mostly. It is so hard to get out of the park for any appreciable amount of time. I was thinking of them earlier this week. Paula had said that they might try to drive out and visit for an afternoon in the spring and it occurred to me that I had not seen them or heard from them. Pete was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year, but was doing okay last I had talked to them.

They were camping here for the very first time when the rogue hillbilly bunch was here that stole all our firewood. They were in the site next to them and were entertained greatly. They were here when the naked lady made her debut. Paula has a wicked sense of humor and can tell the story so well with her New York accent. Pete is full of dry wit. I miss having them here and coming in every afternoon for their ice cream after they nap.

I am reminiscing with a heavy heart today. I talked to my friend who's real name is Patti this afternoon. She called to let me know that Paul is in kidney failure and will remain at home with hospice in attendance. She was in fairly good spirits as she told me this awful news. Of course she has had time to digest it. Paul also had Alzheimer's and Patti has been his caregiver all these years. Not an easy task to watch someone you love fade away. I have watched her be patient and kind and also seen her at the end of her rope. I am hoping to be able to go visit him one last time next week. I don't know if he will remember me, but I want to go.

I am crying as I write this. I can only imagine how hard this must be for Patti. When we were first married, Drew and I would talk about what would happen should one of us die. We agreed to simply die together. But we had kids, so that wouldn't work out so well for them; so we agreed to wait until we were old to die together.

When he had his heart attack and I realized that he could actually die and leave me here ........ well, it was sobering to say the least. I can't imagine which way would be more devastating......... to know and have to watch and wait or to not know and be suddenly alone. I am not fond of either option. I am just sad.