Class A Wedding

I have spent the entire new year battling incessant indigestion. I figured that maybe the cream puff, chocolate eclair eating marathon may have been the culprit. They were mini, okay. They were left over from the party and the men were sharing the wii with Yvonne and I and there they were ......... needing to be eaten. Waste not, want not and all that. I have no idea just how many of those tiny delectable treats I popped into my mouth between turns, but, we won't be throwing any away. I really think I should be better by now, though. I am only eating things easy on the stomach and still having problems, though. I don't know that I will ever eat another cream puff again .........


Fortunately, he who scores higher than me in wii bowling is feeling fine. I say fortunately because we have a major water issue going on. I feel guilty sitting here (writhing in pain...sort of) while he is out in the cold encountering problem after problem. He had to rent a trencher to expose the offending pipe and discovered a concrete slab around the pipe several feet down. He had to go 7 feet down to find the leak. Three leaks. The sump pump died. Had to rent one. Then discovered that all the couplings, etc. he bought are the wrong size. Off to the hardware store he goes .......... again.



So, here I sit carefully sipping my coffee after a night filled with the most horrible indigestion I have ever had. I am bleary eyed from lack of sleep and am thankful we are not busy in the park. But, I hear the chime that alerts me when someone tries to enter the store. I am not open yet, but due to the cold morning I have pulled a set of velour pants and jacket over my pj's, so I open the house door to see what the person might want. It is a mother and daughter looking for a wedding location.



Wondering what made them stop here, I tell them I will meet them in the store and go round to let them in. I do have wonderful gardens in the spring all the way til the first freeze, but right now things are looking pretty bleak. The material that provides shade on the pavilion has been ripped away by the wind and is hanging in ragged pieces from the frame. But, they look like they are in for a low budget wedding and maybe all their guests are campers. They drove into the park, right past all the signs with our park name and logo on them. It is obvious that this is an RV park, since about 30 of them are sitting on sites. The mother of the duo wants to know if it is okay if they have a wedding here and also wants to know where the cave is. They think they are at Graham Cave State Park. They want really low budget. Like free. So I tell them they need to get back on the road and drive another mile and then they will see the sign (can't help myself) that will tell them where they are. My stomach is making audible noises and all I want to do is curl up in a fetal position and succumb to my misery. But, wait, they now want to know if I think they will be allowed to hold a ceremony there. Do I know if there is someone manning the office in the state park ............ I finally push them out the door.



Phone rang yesterday. I answered with my perky voice and the man says "Are you open?" I tell him that I am indeed open. No, he says, he wants to know if the campground is open. I tell him that we are open year round. He tells me that he is traveling south from Minnesota and will need a site. I tell him that I have full hook up sites available and he barks that he only needs electric to run his heater. He tells me he has a Class A and is carrying his own water, that he bought a Class A just so that he would have everything he needed except electricity. Feeling well informed, I am about to tell him that I also have plenty of electric sites when he demands to know what I charge. I tell him what the rate is and he goes ballistic and starts shouting at me about my rates. He says that I am over priced. I don't know why, but I felt the need to defend myself and told him that my rates were comparable to similar parks in my area and that in fact, I was the lowest. He then informed me that the state park was considerably lower and the he would be staying there. All he needs is a place to plug in. He will not need my hot showers! Why do I think he bought a Class A?????? BAM. He hung up. Before I could tell him where to park his Class A.



I have the 'CLOSED" sign in the store. The answering machine can handle calls. I am going back to bed.

The Life Of The Party

This is what we all looked like at the end of the evening ......... If you look closely, you will see that the champagne is frozen! We were going to toast in the new year at 10 o'clock (this is what happens when you get old, okay). Yvonne had put the champagne on ice ...... in the freezer, and it froze! This is top drawer stuff, people.

I spent the day getting everything all spiffed up. This is a Christmas Frog. Really. He is.

Mr. Snowman of long long legs is overlooking all my preparations and assures me I have cleaned everything and all is ready.

I believe I am ready. I want to wow them all with my clean, clean house. I did not have time to hang my picture that proclaims "DULL WOMEN HAVE IMMACULATE HOUSES" . It is true!

I proudly display my brand new winter dishes. New to me. I bought them at a consignment store. Forty-five pieces for a mere $25!!! Shopping with Yvonne is so much fun. Our two men disagree, saying they can't afford all the money we save. More about those two later.

My friend, Yvonne. Always laughing and talking ............... and pointing out the spot I missed in my cleaning marathon.

Oopsie ........ missed a spot. Or two.

While I am dusting in my tiara, someone dares to grab my camera.

Jim got a wii for Christmas. Set it up in the store. Drew is getting a tutorial, I think. This is his paying attention look. Really, it is. I know, cause this is the way he looks when I am explaining what I want him to do. Jim, forget it, he is not listening.

Back to the title. Here we have the life of the party. He started out watching a ballgame (he is not particular about which kind of ball game) with his side-kick Johnny. Johnny abandoned him when he started to snore. We all took turns coming in to listen. Crazy Tom can really saw some logs, we all believe you now, Martha!

We all started talking about snoring and remedies. Crazy Tom refuses to use a C-Pap machine. Almost in unison, Yvonne and I suggest the Neti pot. Yvonne is the Neti expert. She went so far as to go get a kit for me. I am a Neti enthusiast now. While I was at my daughters I had her buy one for my grandson. He has my allergies. Just the other night he told me on the phone that his mom had a cold and he was getting the Neti pot ready for her!

Martha said it sounded like a form of water boarding and wondered how it would work on a sleeping, snoring man .............

He woke up and prevented telling us any secrets through the torture of the Neti pot.



When I say "we", I am, of course excluding the two men bowling. All night. They did take a food break. Did they ask any of the rest of us if we would like to challenge them? No. Wii hogs.



We ended up talking and laughing all night. No parlour games. I couldn't seem to locate mine. I am sure it is here. Somewhere. Right where I forgot I put it. I will launch a search party. Later.



We all laughed and talked and saw this.

Laughed, talked and ate. Told stories. Our best story teller, Crazy Tom, the life of the party was missing. He snored so loud my dogs abandoned him. And my dogs love to snuggle up on the couch with a warm body.

Made himself at home, the life of the party. That's okay, we are all like family here. Miss Martha and Crazy Tom, Sue and her Johnny, Mary, Yvonne and Jim. We missed all those who couldn't be with us for one reason or another. Happy New Year my friends.




P.S. For the party from a dog's perspective, click on "Letters To Gavin". More pictures there and the party through the eyes of Wall-E, the wonder dog.

Grrrrrrrrr...........

Too much to do and too little time ............. We are hosting a New Year's Eve with friends. People I hold dear and who love me right back. But ....... company is company and I am in a cleaning frenzy; suddenly seeing my surroundings through the eyes of others. We all do it.

With that in mind I set aside this entire day to right all that is wrong here in my humble abode. Well, within reason, that is. The weather is cooperating and it has been a wonderful balmy day. I was counting on he who works part-time to help out with a few chores, but he was called in early. I wasn't too awfully upset since he tends to get in the way when I am in a manic cleaning fest. As soon as he left Murphy's Law took over. I let Wall-E, the wonder dog, out and started in the kitchen. I grabbed my laptop and put the speakers on to listen to a book I had already started and was 22 chapters into. Remembered the little white dog and went to let him in. The gate had blown open just enough for an escape ..............


Still optimistic, I was thankful that only one dog had to be found. I went into the parking lot and called his name and he came running obediently. He was gleeful and jumping into the air and ...... he was brown. All over, only the top part of his legs were unscathed. As he got closer, I prayed that it was mud (knowing in my heart it was not), I caught a whiff. Cat poop. Freshly thawed cat poop. I tried to find a place to grab the little devil that would not involve touching smeared cat poop. I did not succeed. Nothing quite like the odor of wet dog and cat poop to set the mood.


Washed the dog and went to the kitchen to discover that my time with the book had expired. Downloaded it again and set to work on the floors. I mopped and emptied the bucket SIX times, did the dishes, hung some pictures and was about to move on to dusting when a motor home drove in. I checked them in and went back to cleaning. He came back. The people occupying the space next to the one I assigned him had parked their truck there and then left in their car. I assigned another spot to him. This left only one space with running water. Three more rigs pull in. They were together and decided to let the folks cooking dinner have the spot with water and took other sites. Problem solved ........ sort of. Had to stop in the house and go scour the showers for them to use and locate an electric heater for the men's room. I am thankful for the business and the bathrooms would have had to be cleaned tomorrow anyway.


Remember the freshly washed floors? Seems that Wall-E, the wonder dog not only smeared cat poop all over his dog self, even in his ears; he apparently decided to snack on it, too and yakked all over the floor. I smelled it the minute I came in. Took a few minutes to locate it. He chose a tight area by the sofa. He not only got the floor and the foot of the sofa, but the rug as well. His little freshly washed head with a warm dry nose is on my leg as I write. It is a good thing I love him and don't have a yearning for dog on a spit!


Tomorrow will be better, right?

Happens On The Soaps .......

Watching the snow melt as I drink my coffee and listen to the morning news, I hear that twins have been born. Okay. What makes this set of babies remarkable is the fact that they share only their mother. Two fathers. The ex-husband and the boyfriend. Only seven reported cases.


Okay, first of all this happens a lot on TV. It is a great plot twister. And so much more believable than coming back from dying. That also happens a lot. Some characters are known for returning to life over and over again, as if they are like a cat with nine lives. They die as often as they marry every man in a family.


But, really, why would you want to be known for birthing babies fathered by two men? Do they ask you if you would mind telling the world about your special talent? What will the children be told as they grow up calling different men Daddy. Did the daddies know they were participating in this special event? I would not want to be this mom when puberty visits this set of twins. Do you suppose that is why this event goes unreported?

A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane

I am uninspired today. Looking out the window, all I see is cold snow. It is supposed to warm up to 57 by the end of the week.

I will wait until then to drive anywhere .........

My friend is way down there, tucked into her trailer. We talk on the phone .......

This is the parking lot .......

So, nothing to do but stroll through the land of blog while I wait for he who plays with fire to get the stove going. Yes, I am capable of starting a fire. He loves to do this for me, though. And who am I to deny him this small pleasure?

As I was reading I saw a reference to Easy Bake ovens. I gave Maya one for her birthday when she turned five. With three adults and four children in attendance, what could go wrong? We decided to have a tea party. My daughter-in-law, Diane, loves tea parties. Both Gramma Kathy and Gramma Barb were there, so like I said, what could go wrong?

Maya was to make the first cake, after all, it was her gift. While Jada and Gavin argued over which one would be next and I was reading the instructions to make the cake. I don't remember why Diane left the room, maybe the phone, I don't remember. Gramma Barb had the baby in her arms and we were talking. Maya was engrossed in helping me dump her ingredients into the bowl. Jada and Gavin had stopped arguing ............. they were trying to figure out how the cake would fit into the oven.

Next thing we knew Jada was calling all Grammas. Gavin had his hand stuck in the Easy Bake Oven. He was beginning to panic and tears were rolling down his cheeks. Jada was shouting instructions to the grammas with her raspy little voice that I love so much. Gramma Barb was holding the oven and I was holding Gavin's arm. We tried to pull and that wasn't working. His hand was really stuck. I squelched the urge to locate my camera, and we tried holding the oven up and trying to release his hand from below and the opposite. He was crying pretty loud by then. Jada was still trying to help. Maya was calmly mixing her cake and telling Gavin to get his hand out of her oven. I finally worked my fingers into the opposite end of the oven and I still don't know what I did, but his hand was released.

After we baked the "cakes" , it was decided that each child should cut and share her/his creation. Gavin had recovered and was all into the sharing, as was Maya. Jada sort of tossed her offering to all of us. Tea time etiquette and all that. Life here is so dull in comparison. Dull is good, though, I don't know if I could handle all that excitement on a daily basis. Must be getting old.

Good Will Towards Men?

My friend, Yvonne, is a generous soul. So much so that she gives the people who rent a house from her a gift at Christmas. Her renters aren't always prompt with payment either. I give my renters here some home made goodies. She gives hers a $100 gift card from WalMart. Definitely want to rent from her! I have been on the receiving end of her generosity and know that her motives are pure.

Last weekend she stopped at WalMart and purchased the gift card for her tenant. She was in a hurry and had several errands to complete and as she drove she told her husband to take the gift card and put it in the envelope with the card she had already addressed, so that she could simply drop it in the mail. This is when they discovered that the gift card was not in the bag. The clerk had laid it in the area where cash and credit card transactions take place and in her rush she didn't see it and assumed it to be in the bag with her other merchandise. She turned around and made her way back to the store and presented her receipt. Although that card was then voided, someone had already spent $49. WalMart refunded the balance and my friend purchased another $100 card. She was upset, as anyone would have been, but did not expect WalMart to do anything. After all, she could have left a $100 bill on the counter and lost all of it.

She told me all about her crummy day and said that she thought the man behind her may have taken the card. But, she didn't want to accuse him of it. She must have had some sort of an exchange with him, since she knew he was in line to get a Barbie doll that he did not want his little girl to see. The child was in another check-out line with her mother. But Yvonne just wrote the incident off as crummy luck. She was more irritated with herself than anything. She hoped that whoever used the card really needed it.

So, imagine her surprise when she received a phone call the next morning from WalMart. They wanted to give her the money that was used on the card! They told her that they had viewed the security tape and that the man in line behind her had taken the card and given it to his wife in another lane. He was close enough to hear the transaction and would have known that it had $100 on it.


I am sure the manager traced the transactions made by my friend for the last few months and realized that she is a valuable customer. It was a smart business decision to make it right for her and absorb the loss. It was also the right thing to do. WalMart gets its share of bad press and I know that this decision was made on a local level and kudos go to the manager of this particular store. Perhaps not every manager would have done this.

So, I started thinking about decisions and opportunities to do the right thing. I wonder what the man was thinking as he pocketed the gift card. Do you suppose he debated what to do when he saw the card sitting there? Did he think it was his lucky day? Did he imagine what he could buy? Why didn't he call out, "Ma'am, you forgot your card." Was the Barbie doll in his hand his child's only gift to go under the tree? Had he just lost his job? Was this a windfall he felt he could not pass up? Or ............... was he just greedy? Did he give any thought to the person who just paid for the card?


What would you have done? Would you have been tempted to slip the card in your pocket? It seems that the older I get the more defined the line between right and wrong is. There are things that I have done in my life that I am not proud of. We can always justify our actions even when we know what we are doing is wrong. My mother was quick to point out that "what goes around, comes around". Some folks call it karma. All I know is that there is always payback. Not always equal or quick, but it will eventually catch up. Most of the time we aren't even aware of it. For all I know that man had a flat tire on the way home. If he did he no doubt was depending on the balance of that stolen card to help him out ..................

Sleeping In

I slept late this morning. It has always been a bad omen for me to sleep in. Today is no different.


For our anniversary, he who had agreed with me that we would not exchange gifts, presented me with a Serta memory foam mattress topper. So, really it was a gift of good sleep for both of us. He got a deal at Overstock.com, too. Stay with me, I am laying the foundation ....... or layering ..........


We live in tight quarters and taking a cue from RV living we try to take advantage of every square inch of space. So, when I painted our bedroom and we bought a new mattress, I commissioned he who won't let me have the miter saw back, to build a foundation on which to set the mattress set. This allows me to have a row of drawers on each side and at the foot of the bed. Plastic drawers that would get lost under the bed without the center piece that was custom built to prevent that. I had used pvc pipe to make risers before that. So, the bed is high. The new mattress was a pillow top, guaranteed to not sag. They lied, it does. And with a pillow top, you can't flip the mattress. I have turned the mattress sideways periodically, but that is difficult and makes the bed a pain to make. So, he who loves me dearly, really was thinking when he bought this. Or, maybe he was tired of helping me turn the mattress and tired of sleeping in the hollow his body had created. I am certain he has been thinking about the memory foam since Thanksgiving when we slept in our daughter's bed that had just gotten a memory foam topper.


So, what does this have to do with sleeping in and bad omens? I did say that I already have a tall bed and the topper is a full 5 inches ............... making the top of our bed 36 inches from the floor. I am only 5'2". The top of the bed is even with my waist. I am not a gymnast. I am a short, plump, middle-aged woman (I plan to live over 100 years), with arthritic hands and knees. Getting into the bed is interesting to say the least. Sometimes it takes two tries to get in the bed. The dismount is easier, I sort of slide out until my feet touch the floor. Getting in involves me kind of throwing my body atop the bed and using my elbows to wiggle my way in. Why don't I use a step stool? Won't fit. He who bought the topper will have to make one for me. I did say that this is a tight space, did I not?


So, last night, I lay on my comfy bed sleeping blissfully for, oh, maybe an hour; before Oscar decided he needed to go out. I slid out of bed and found my slippers and gathered Emmy in my arms to trail behind Wall-E and Oscar to the back door. They went out, then got a drink and we all went back to bed. I tried to kneel on the bench at the foot of the bed to ease my way in, but that made my knee hurt and I still had to crawl to the top of the bed. I lay there for awhile thinking about bed entry solutions and willing my knee to stop hurting. I finally drifted back into a fitful sleep full of senseless dreams until Oscar woke me at 4:10 barking at the back door. Another dismount and repeat of the earlier trip to the back door and back to bed. This time I decided to do a little jump and land on my side. This was not the best idea I ever had. I landed on my elbow and bit my lip to keep from crying out. My elbow still hurts all the way to my shoulder.


Went back to sleep and dreamed I was at the grocery and angry about something, but I can't recall the reason. Woke up at 10:00. The water pump was going nuts, indicating a pipe had burst. I let the dogs out to make coffee and they escaped into the kampground. Wall-E was at the front door patiently waiting to be let in. Oscar was eating the cat food and finally obeyed the demand to come into the house. Emmy was missing and later found at the barn looking for he who inhabits that place. I was still trying to locate her when I saw our truck, pulling the cargo trailer, clearly exceeding our posted speed limit as it headed towards the tent area. I called him on his cell to find that he had Emmy on board and was headed to another pipe. Three pipes and of course he does not have the parts he needs ...........


So, off the the big city I go, Walmart, here I come. Bah Humbug!