Friday, November 30, 2012
It never goes away. Guilt. As I sit here drinking my coffee I am torn. I have the phone right next to me. But ....... the phone can't smooth her forehead.
My baby girl called me yesterday. I saw her number on the caller ID and I was all set to settle in with a cup of coffee and catch up on her life. But when I answered she was gasping in pain. "Mom, I hurt so bad." She was crying and could only talk as the pain subsided. She was waiting for her fiancee' to come take her to Urgent Care.
I spent the rest of the day waiting for the phone to ring. Longest day ever. She is in the hospital. Her small intestine is inflamed. Don't know why. Tests today and an IV drip with pain meds. She sounds goofy on the phone, but that is so much better than hearing her in pain. I can talk to her, but I can't touch her and everybody knows that a mother's touch has healing powers!
My blood pressure is under control, but the headaches are still with me and strike when I least expect it. A 9 hour drive would be interesting .....
She insists that she is fine and I don't need to come. Her brother and sister are close by and helping with her child. But if I were there ....... I might just be in the way. Gavin is a pretty self sufficient kid. He would have to tell me what to do. He is his mother's child.
So I wait to hear what will happen next. Feeling guilty that I am not there.