Friday, November 30, 2012

Mother's Guilt


It never goes away. Guilt. As I sit here drinking my coffee I am torn. I have the phone right next to me. But ....... the phone can't smooth her forehead.

My baby girl called me yesterday. I saw her number on the caller ID and I was all set to settle in with a cup of coffee and catch up on her life. But when I answered she was gasping in pain. "Mom, I hurt so bad." She was crying and could only talk as the pain subsided. She was waiting for her fiancee' to come take her to Urgent Care.

I spent the rest of the day waiting for the phone to ring. Longest day ever. She is in the hospital. Her small intestine is inflamed. Don't know why. Tests today and an IV drip with pain meds. She sounds goofy on the phone, but that is so much better than hearing her in pain. I can talk to her, but I can't touch her and everybody knows that a mother's touch has healing powers!

My blood pressure is under control, but the headaches are still with me and strike when I least expect it. A 9 hour drive would be interesting .....

She insists that she is fine and I don't need to come. Her brother and sister are close by and helping with her child. But if I were there ....... I might just be in the way. Gavin is a pretty self sufficient kid. He would have to tell me what to do. He is his mother's child.

So I wait to hear what will happen next. Feeling guilty that I am not there.

6 comments:

ellen abbott said...

I know what you mean. My daughter almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. I wanted to be there with her but I kept the grandkids instead while she recuperated.

Brian Miller said...

oh man....what a hard place...you want to be right there and take the pain away as well...ugh...i dont envy your waiting...

Val said...

SHE knows you want to be there. YOU know you want to be there. It's not like you are only an hour away and not getting there.

I agree with the mother's touch. It is the most soothing thing ever invented. I wish I could patent it and sell it for a song. The hand on the forehead, smoothing the hair the wrong way, makes everything all right.

joanne said...

what ever you do, which ever way you turn, up or down, the mom guilt will not be assuaged. take care...both of you.

Linda O'Connell said...

Nothing worse than the waiting and not really being able to do anything. I hope she heals soon. I had a similar problem from eating nuts. She knows you are reaching out to her. It IS alovely day or a drive:)

dkzody said...

My sympathies. Hope she is well and on her feet again soon.