Friday, May 4, 2012

Kiss My Ashes


My peony before the storms ........... I didn't take a picture of the beat up bush with the stems bending to the ground where the flowers lay beaten by the rain and wind.

I left this morning at 8 am to run errands ...... not the least of which was a much needed haircut. The sky was dark as I was leaving and a few big plops of rain hit my windshield as I headed east. I kept an eye on the sky in my rear view mirror. It was scary dark and seemed to be chasing me. I put the cruise on 75 and gained some ground. After my hair was cut and styled the sky fell. It caught up with me with pounding rain and lightning.

I got soaked, but still managed to get everything done and drove home with dry skies. I have been on my feet all day. My right ankle is swollen. Doesn't hurt. Every time I try to sit and prop it up the door sounds and I have to jump up. It is good to be busy .........


I gave up on the foot propping and started working on some gourds. I flipped on the TV in the store to keep me company. It was that show on Oprah's network about strange addictions. I half expected to see the highly tanned woman who has been in the news for supposedly taking her child tanning with her. Whether she did or not, she certainly needs to seek out some help for her addiction. Well, that is my opinion.

The first addiction I heard was a woman who liked to eat dry wall (sheet rock). I am guessing a quarter sheet of drywall was what the Easter Bunny left in her basket. Then there was a man addicted to cycling. He could barely walk and had worn out his hips, but still was loathe to give it up. He cycled 7 days straight once and had a bottle handy for urine. Really, bad enough to be obsessed, but why did he want to share it on TV.

The most bizarre one was the woman who was eating her husband's ashes. Said it made her feel closer to him and that by consuming his remains, he would be with her forever. She admitted that it was not tasty, but said she could not stop. She then went on to describe how she would lick her finger and then dip it into the ashes, then eat the ashes. Her mother even appeared and begged her to stop, asking what she would do when the ashes were gone.

After that bit of enlightenment, an older gentleman entered the store and demanded to know where the state park was. Actually, he slapped the counter top and said, "I just want to know where in the hell the state park is!" I bit back my reply that I had hidden it when I saw him approach. I gave him directions and he turned to leave, then stepped back and asked how much it would cost for him to stay in my park. I told him and he informed me that I was gouging the public, since the state park is $6 cheaper. I didn't bother to point out that I did not receive any state monies to run my park. As the door shut behind him, I said, "I hope your wife eats your ashes."

10 comments:

Lady Jane said...

OH I am ROTFL..... I hope she eats his ashes also....

Val said...

Perhaps you should have pointed out that yes, the state park is six dollars cheaper, IF YOU CAN FIND IT! Then put up a sign declaring: "Directions to State Park - $6.00." That way, you're on even footing.

Teri said...

I like Val's comment. I don't think I could handle some of your customers.

Joanne said...

I used to get phone calls for a water park one digit off my phone number. Directions, hours, cost. One or two during the week and then a just non stop weekends, starting eary in the morning. Eventually I would politely say they were no longer in business. And, when they did go out of business, I didn't feel bad.

Linda O'Connell said...

Freaks, everywhere!

Brian Miller said...

omg that ashes eating lady made me wanna throw up...and the lady that eats rocks too...omg...

Mamma has spoken said...

Or how about the one where she drinks her own pee? That show makes me wonder why they would go on national tv and tell about their addictions/obsessions :o/
As for the old man, I would have been rude back to him, in a polite way ;o)

Chickadee said...

LOL. Don't you just love people like that? Of course the world revolves around THEM you know. I hope he heard your remark...that was priceless LOL

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL! i can't stand to watch that show. blech! that show makes me want to vomit. i can't even stand the commercials for it.

hope your ankle is better. we got some wicked wind/rain storms lately, too.

otin said...

I saw peony and bush in the first paragraph and I thought I was on the sex blog! LOL

EATING HER HUSBAND'S ASHES?? EWWW!!