Friday, June 18, 2021

Clothing Is Not Optional

I am so busy just answering the calls that are relentless. Emails that make no sense. I am losing my sense of humor and that was my best part of me!

A break is not forthcoming and won't be until after Labor Day. Just the way it is. My modicum of peace and quiet happens in the morning before I open the door. My gardens bring me peace and joy, as do my dogs and Martha, the boy cat. HeWho loves me can sometimes be a calming agent, but more often than not, he is the antagonist. But if you have read this at all, you already know that.

I can't remember if I have written about the newest member of my pet family and I am too tired to look. When the pool was being cleaned out of the murky winter water in anticipation of paint, a tiny turtle was found in the slimy leaves and muck. It was about the size of a quarter and nasty with mud. The guys cleaned it off and we discovered that his belly was a deep orange with a design on it. Like he had been hanging out at a tattoo parlor. Very intricate. I named the turtle Theodore.

When my Dad died my sister sent a terrarium arrangement and I was given it to bring home. The plants lived for some time before finally dying. It is a giant sphere with an open top and sits on a pedestal with a base. Looks like a giant wine glass, but rounder. I had a miniature village in it in my office and it made me think of my Daddy every time I looked at it. Now I think of my sister, too. This has become a home for my turtle.

I have since discovered the gender of the turtle and had to change the name to Dora. I have never been a reptile person, but this little turtle is thriving and is now more like a half dollar size. I am the one who feeds her, like all the animals here including HeWho doesn't cook or clean. She has bonded with me, much like Martha did as a tiny kitten.

Every morning when I come out to the office and turn the lights on, she sees me and starts taping on the glass. I pick her up and she sits in the palm of my hand and stretches out her long neck for me to pet her! She looks at me with her tiny pinpoint eyes. If you think I might be a little crazy, it's okay. If someone else had told me this, I wouldn't believe them either. She pushes her head against my finger to encourage to pet her. If HeWho is jealous that the turtle loves me, puts his finger against her neck she withdraws into her shell!

I  am smitten with a turtle! Eddie gave her a curious sniff and looked at her in my hand, then up at me. Eddie is a gentle soul. Bo, on the other hand thought it was a treat. Had his mouth open to bite her! Bo is constantly finding frogs and biting them and foaming at his mouth!

But I am still spending the better part of my day with people. Two nights ago a couple came in after hours. They slept in a van. No big deal, lots of people have been doing that since the pandemic began. They were on a full hook up site and that was no problem, since they were just overnighters. 

My best camp worker ever saw them and asked to see their registration to make sure they weren't thieves of the night. He came up to report that they looked like they were on their way to Woodstock like hippies of our generation. Then he told me that the female tried to hug him! He backed away, as I wished I had later.

Before they left they came to the office and she did indeed grab me and hug me and tell me she loved me. Strange, but they were leaving and I was busy and promptly forgot about them. Almost 2 hours went by and suddenly they were back. HeWho is a soft touch happened to be in the office to hear the tale of woe. Seems there were two vans and one was broken down almost 2 hours south of our location. The couple was Kansas bound and the tow to Kansas would have been quite costly.

HeWho seems to have no bottom to the depths of his willingness to help a stranger gave away a free tow on our AAA account and let them bring it here. You would have to ask him why he thought this to be a good idea. The couple came back yet again and were unable to drive on, despite her saying she needed to get back to her child. Her van was equipped with a breathalyzer and would not start because they had both been drinking .....

I later learned that they had only met 4 days before at a yoga retreat and if her pupils were any indication, alcohol was the least of her problems. When I open the office up, I am held captive there until closing time so I sometimes miss remarkable events. I suppose she wanted to change out of her long dress into her swimming attire. Instead of making use of any of the indoor bathroom facilities, she stripped naked right there next to her van, making no attempt at modesty. 

After changing clothes in the open air she came in my office to tell me that she wanted to clean my bathrooms to pay me back for being so nice to them. She volunteered her friend of four days to weed whack. I dodged a second hug and went out to introduce her to my cleaning supplies.

She was appalled that I use bleach to clean the bathrooms. It kills germs. Enough said. I tuned her out and told her that it was readily available and it is what I preferred. She wandered back into the office just as the camper I assigned a full hook up site was telling me that a van was parked there. I asked her to please remove her vehicle so that he could park in the site he paid for. "What do you want me to do with the bleach water I mopped with?" I tell her to just toss it on the grass. She gasped and informed me that it would kill the grass. I explained to her that it would not harm the grass at all because I did it all the time and just toss it. Then she began worrying about someone stepping on the bleach on the grass. I opined that it would not harm them and that perhaps they should be wearing shoes. Finally, she left the office while I was apologizing to the customer unable to park and he looked ant me and said, "she went on a trip and never came back!" So very true. The guy was right there with her.

They each worked 3 hours which would equate to $60 they could trade for a stay. But the free tow was worth around $400. They seemed to think that we owed them free lodging. They stayed another night in her van on a site far away from the rest of the campers since she seemed to think clothing was optional.

I was in my garden the next morning trying to keep everything alive, since it is so dry the ground has contracted and big cracks are developing. I can see almost the entire ark from my outdoor vantage point. Most everyone knows this and it is so fun to watch them slow down the minute they notice me outside. Like when you see a state trooper on the side of the road ahead and you hit your brakes.

A red truck came in, totally disregarding my stop sign and proceeded into the park, never slowing down. Going about 15 or 20. Signs posted everywhere, but apparently ignored. I watched to see where he might be going and he slowed down in a spot that was blocked from my view, then he sped up on his way out ..... where I was waiting for him. I pointed out the speed limit signs and he admitted that he saw them, but he didn't think he was speeding. I made him admit that he never once looked at his odometer.

My favorite part, though, is his excuse for disregarding all signage. He said, "I know Drew." Was I impressed? Not at all. But, next time I get caught speeding I plan to tell the law officer that I know Drew. It might even work, who knows?

Next, I see the breathalyzer van coming the wrong way down the one way road. I sighed deeply. They drove past the exit and proceeded to leave via the entrance drive. I let it go, they are leaving. Wait, they are sitting still at the end of the entrance drive, not turning to go, totally blocking the ENTRANCE drive. I watch, my head starting to develop an ache. They sat there about five minutes before reversing all the way back to the front of the building.

Yes, I am painfully annoyed, but more than anything I just want them to GO. I flip the water off to the side garden and flip on the water to the front. I am watering all the plants in baskets and containers and dead heading as I go. I do not plan to address the drug impaired duo, still wanting them to go, still irritated with the "I know Drew" guy. But the guy decides to try to give me a hug!

I block his intended hug and can't seem to stop myself from asking about his reading and driving abilities. Both seem to be lacking, although he was obeying the speed limit. He assured me that he was paying very close attention when he was in reverse. I told him that was great, that he should apply that same method when the vehicle was in Drive and gong forward lest he cause an accident. My tongue, having been loosed took on a mind of it's own and I asked him what drugs he was on and warned him not to lie to me as I was watching his pinpoint pupils. 

They left, my mind rejoiced. I went on about my business, answering endless calls, checking in swimmers, going over the rules which each new group and making reservations. The time of day came when I was awaiting the arrival of overnighters. I stepped outside to change the turtle water and dump the contents into a flower pot, as it is great fertilizer. I happened to look across the park, beyond the pool full of obedient swimmers to the tent sites. THE BREATHALYZER VAN IS BACK!

They didn't "check in", just took over a tent site and set up the van with open doors and piling belongings on the picnic table. I called my lookout person and she said she thought she saw them come in again. I alerted HeWho is generous with our AAA benefits to find out what they were doing. They said they made it halfway to Kansas City, then "had to" turned around and come back. 

Had to? Was there a giant rubber band that was stretched to capacity and brought them back? No, HeWho is generous to a fault told me that they wanted to stay another night after all the hours they had worked. He went on to say it was only fair to compensate them for the work. I reminded him of the free tow he had facilitated and that the fact that the disabled van was allowed to be towed here had saved the guy a bundle of money, because a tow to Kansas would have been three times as much.

The guy proceeded to work on his van here. In my campground that is not an auto repair shop. Optional clothing woman had a spat with her new friend of less than a week and left for Kansas in tears. He finished his work on his van in the early evening, but stayed another night on a tent with electricity site, exceeding the earned credit by $30.

My excellent work camper woke the fixed van occupant the next morning and dispatched him back to Kansas while HeWho is a sucker for a sad story slept. I would love to say that made my world right again, but I would be telling a lie!



Joanne Noragon said...

I'm sorry I missed a post about acquiring an excellent camp worker, but am happy you have a turtle. Do you have any ideas on its coming to the pool? Mama walked through and left an egg behind?

Val said...

The silver lining is: at least you got SOME work out of them. Plus a free strip show!

Dianne said...

Oh gosh. These events that are so frustrating(and horrible for you) are entertaining reads to me, because I live a more boring life (but like it that way). Also, love that you rescued the turtle!

Debby said...

I can imagine your frustration but for me the reader, it is quite comical. You need to write a TV show script about managing a campground with all the different people that come and go. Heck, you've already documented everything in your blog. I'd watch for sure!!! Hmmm now who would play you? and HeWho?