Chivalry Is Dead

Be careful what you ask for. We had been dry for quite awhile. Fissures in the ground were beginning to widen and I couldn't seem to keep the hanging baskets wet. The flowers were limp and dying.

The rain came a few days ago. Not a gentle rain, but furious rain beat down all night for two nights and it has been raining in fits and spells since. The back yard has standing water. The pool overflowed and the wind threw the rain under the eaves and the kitchen flooded.

This morning was sunny and bright. HeWho has half a heart was scheduled for an appointment with the cardiologist. I was going to send him alone and stay here, but I feared he would rip the note from the safety pin on his collar that I was going to send the doctor. I needed to go for several reasons. He doesn't hear that well, even with the the hearing aids. I know when he has totally misunderstood what has been said. He won't make others repeat themselves and I was afraid the second hand information coming home with him might not be accurate. It is amusing to hear what he thinks he heard, but not when it is about his health.

In April I decided to remove his Lipitor from his pill regimen. It will cause muscle weakness and his legs would fail him when he was walking. Not such a big deal, as the man does not walk that much, preferring to ride to where ever he may go. Though not proven, a rare side effect is confusion. Always hard to tell if he is truly confused or just wants me to think he is, to get out of doing something I want done. This has happened before with Lipitor, so I am confident that it is the culprit. I was afraid he would just tell them that I took his Lipitor away and would accept being told to start taking it again. 

Cardiologist did not get excited that I was manipulating the drugs, not that a physician telling me not to do it would matter to me, just nicer that he accepted that I was HeWho's best advocate. Now we will get a blood level that will be accurate on no drugs and then decide on another drug to control his cholesterol.

So, I went about all my chores and getting the office ready for my fill-in for the day. As we were about to had out, the clouds gathered. Rain started pattering about 10 minutes into the trip and we drove through a storm and came out about a third of the way to our destination. The skies were bright blue with big white puffy clouds all the way in. As we were looking for a parking spot, the sky darkened and a downpour started. We were a little early and thought we would just wait it out.

Rain continued to fall and the wind picked up and HeWho accidentally hit the trunk button on the fob and the lid flew open. Since he had to get out to close the trunk lid, we decided to go ahead and get into the office. I had handed the umbrella to HeWho was closing the trunk, thinking he could come to my side of the car and I would get out and share the umbrella with him.

I was under no delusions that we would be completely dry entering the building, I did say that the wind was blowing. Chivalry is dead! I was as wet as I would have been had I jumped in the pool fully clothed. Water was running down my back and my hair was soaked close to my head, mascara was running down my face. My shoes were full of water and squishing as I walked. Inside I looked over at my husband to see that his back was rain splattered, but his head was surprisingly dry.

I headed to the restroom hoping to engage a hand dryer on my wet head. I usually prefer paper towels to dry my hands with and the one time I WANT one of those dryers to blow hot air on me, one is not available! I used the brown paper towels and lots of them. I had them on my skin under my wet shirt while I dried my hair as well as I could. I washed my face and dried my feet and shoes and headed into the doctor's office, noting that not one person in the entire building was as wet as I was.

It was muggy outside and the air conditioning was freezing me. I am happy to note that I knew nary a soul there and a mask was required, so I could pretend to not know anyone I might know. HeWho hogged MY umbrella seemed oblivious to my discomfort. As soon as we were done with his visit, I went into Target and bought a $5 t-shirt for the ride home. 

 

The Last Straw?

Cujo here. I admit that I have never been a big fan of the warm weather and "the season" of campers, but this season is the worst one yet!

My mom is always in that store or office. I don't know why it has two names, but she is always in there and I do not like it. None of us dogs are happy about this. When Mom closes this office/store, she takes us out to pee and then we go to bed! She is always tired.

Yesterday she went into the back yard and did a poop patrol, that's what she calls it when she picks up us dog's poop. I am still wondering what she does with it. But this usually means she will be mowing our yard. I like it when she mows. I like to follow her, after all I am her faithful companion. Sometimes she will mow stripes in a design on our yard. She called the last one a chevron. I don't know what that is, but it took longer than usual and that meant us dogs had Mom to ourselves.

But after she collected all of our poop and we all came back inside to drink water (Mom says hydration is important), she went to work! I had just settled in for a nap when I heard the mower. We all raced to the back door, but she wasn't there! She was mowing other parts of the park. I was bummed!!

I don't care about the park outside my fence! She should know that. Eddie had found a spot to escape and for awhile he would slip out and get into some serious trouble with Mom. I paid close attention and I was about to escape when I felt Mom's hands on my back legs pulling me back into the yard. I thought I was in for a punishment, but Mom thanked me for showing her the hole and then she fixed it. When Mom fixes it, she does a good job. 

When HeWho is supposed to be a good fixer does it, us dogs can work our way around it. HeWho is Mom's special name for Dad. She said she should trademark it, but that it was okay for me to use. Just me, nobody else.

Last Sunday (I knew it must be Sunday because Mom closes early and sits with us dogs), we were all napping when we heard a commotion in the office/store. Toni Louise was in HeWho's recliner watching the monitor from the cameras in the store. She started to whine, letting us other dogs know that she did not like the person in the store. It was a man and he started yelling at Mom!!

All of us dogs started barking as loud as we could and Mom did not yell "flyswatter". This is our secret code word from Mom to let us know she is not in need of our assistance ...... wait, Toni and Eddie are trying to tell me something.

Seems I might be wrong about that secret code word. They seem to think it means for us dogs to shut up with our barking. They could be right, as Mom has sometimes yelled that she is okay and we should stop barking. I really like the idea of a secret code word. But now that I have shared it, it would no longer be secret anyway. 

Anyway ... this man was yelling and we heard Mom tell him to leave. He did not leave, he kept saying things to her and he sounded mean. He had a kid with him and they were still standing there on the other side of the counter from my mom. I was barking with all my might, trying to let Mom know she could count on me to bite them. I know my front teeth are gone and my face is gray, but I can still bite! If you mess with my Mom, you better believe I will do my best to bite you! Toni and Eddie were ready, too. Mr. BoJangles was just barking because we were.

The man and the kid finally left and Mom grabbed her phone and went outside to take a picture of the truck to get the license number (I heard her tell Dad this later) and I hear that this mean man got out of his truck and came after MY MOM! She told the deputies (us dogs were eavesdropping) that the kid yelled at the man and he got back in his truck and then tried to hit mom with his truck!

The deputy said he could arrest the man and put him in jail, but Mom said not to. She thinks he might try to retaliate with some mischief. She thought he could be a pyromaniac. I did not know what that was and I wish that Wall-E was still here. Wall-E had a really big vocabulary. Mom told me later that it was a person who liked to set fires.

After this happened, Mom told Dad that this was the last straw. I must admit that I have no idea what she was talking about. I have seen her drink from a straw, but I have seen her drink from the edge of the glass, too. Should we get more straws? I just don't know!

All I can say is that I hope this "season" is almost over and that everybody stops yelling at my mom and trying to hit her with a truck. I would be much happier if we didn't have a season or a store or office and Mom could just hold me all the time!

 

Please Rain!!

Friday night is over, everyone is checked in and this morning is peaceful as I go about spreading water and good cheer to my many gardens. I had noted that a possibility of rain was in the forecast and I was intent on over watering to make that rain come down. I was considering washing my car and wondering if I actually had time before opening .....

Suddenly I hear a siren and the county sheriff's vehicle came flying in the exit drive and proceeded into the park with siren and lights. My heart sank. I was looking forward to a peaceful day. I dispatched HeWho likes to chase ambulances and rubberneck, to follow. I was almost certain they were at the wrong campground, as none of my spies had alerted me to any shenanigans afoot. The deputy flew right back out the wrong drive and headed towards the state park. 

There was a stabbing at the state park. My park is peaceful again. No complaints thus far and I am due a good weekend! We are at capacity again and I have been emphasizing the speed limit at check-in and warning that if I have to tell you twice to slow it down you will be forced to leave with no refund forthcoming. My enforcer is out there and he might just be meaner than me!!

The ticks are out with a vengeance this year. I plucked the tiniest one I had ever seen from my armpit! I couldn't get my finger nail under it! I thought it was a hair follicle! It was itching, though. Now I am sport a huge red, hot to the touch bump that hurts and itches like crazy. Lyme disease? Looks like I might take a trip to my primary care giver for a nice blood draw.

In other news, I am searching for a homestead south of us. Not way south from my beginnings. Far too hot and sweaty for me. Looking at property with a mountain view and water close by for HeWho fancies himself to be a fisherman. I want cool breezes and dirt to play in and he complains constantly about cold weather. Come to think of it, he complains as much about the 100 degree weather we have been experiencing of late. He complains. No one listens, as he would assure you.

In my on-line searches I am amused at some of the pictures that are posted to show the properties. One would think you would want to present what you are selling in the best light possible. I sometimes wonder if they even look at the pictures before posting them. Individuals and those listed by realtors alike. Pull the waist high weeds and mow the grass! Get rid of all the junk in that waist high weedy area before you snap that shot. Inside pictures are no better on some of them. Pick your underwear up from the floor beside your bed and unclutter. It is hard to imagine oneself inside those walls when the furniture and belongings cover every square inch!

As we are about to list this with a broker, I have been using a critical eye at my own property. During this time of year it is all I can do to keep the kitchen in a somewhat sanitary state and clean sheets and clothes available. HeWho is a hoarder. He is loathe to toss anything. I have been quietly removing items from his closet for years, knowing he will never miss the stuff I am throwing away. He will put on jeans he wore when he was 80 lbs. heavier and cinch them at the waist with a belt. Drives me nuts and every time he does this I search his closet and drawers to see where they came from. He must have a secret stash of clothing that has outgrown him, but I have yet to find it.

He will wear these denim man culottes in public! I buy him clothes that fit and he will wear them to route sewer of do something involving nasty stains that cannot be removed. Why??

Clothing Is Not Optional

I am so busy just answering the calls that are relentless. Emails that make no sense. I am losing my sense of humor and that was my best part of me!

A break is not forthcoming and won't be until after Labor Day. Just the way it is. My modicum of peace and quiet happens in the morning before I open the door. My gardens bring me peace and joy, as do my dogs and Martha, the boy cat. HeWho loves me can sometimes be a calming agent, but more often than not, he is the antagonist. But if you have read this at all, you already know that.

I can't remember if I have written about the newest member of my pet family and I am too tired to look. When the pool was being cleaned out of the murky winter water in anticipation of paint, a tiny turtle was found in the slimy leaves and muck. It was about the size of a quarter and nasty with mud. The guys cleaned it off and we discovered that his belly was a deep orange with a design on it. Like he had been hanging out at a tattoo parlor. Very intricate. I named the turtle Theodore.

When my Dad died my sister sent a terrarium arrangement and I was given it to bring home. The plants lived for some time before finally dying. It is a giant sphere with an open top and sits on a pedestal with a base. Looks like a giant wine glass, but rounder. I had a miniature village in it in my office and it made me think of my Daddy every time I looked at it. Now I think of my sister, too. This has become a home for my turtle.

I have since discovered the gender of the turtle and had to change the name to Dora. I have never been a reptile person, but this little turtle is thriving and is now more like a half dollar size. I am the one who feeds her, like all the animals here including HeWho doesn't cook or clean. She has bonded with me, much like Martha did as a tiny kitten.

Every morning when I come out to the office and turn the lights on, she sees me and starts taping on the glass. I pick her up and she sits in the palm of my hand and stretches out her long neck for me to pet her! She looks at me with her tiny pinpoint eyes. If you think I might be a little crazy, it's okay. If someone else had told me this, I wouldn't believe them either. She pushes her head against my finger to encourage to pet her. If HeWho is jealous that the turtle loves me, puts his finger against her neck she withdraws into her shell!

I  am smitten with a turtle! Eddie gave her a curious sniff and looked at her in my hand, then up at me. Eddie is a gentle soul. Bo, on the other hand thought it was a treat. Had his mouth open to bite her! Bo is constantly finding frogs and biting them and foaming at his mouth!

But I am still spending the better part of my day with people. Two nights ago a couple came in after hours. They slept in a van. No big deal, lots of people have been doing that since the pandemic began. They were on a full hook up site and that was no problem, since they were just overnighters. 

My best camp worker ever saw them and asked to see their registration to make sure they weren't thieves of the night. He came up to report that they looked like they were on their way to Woodstock like hippies of our generation. Then he told me that the female tried to hug him! He backed away, as I wished I had later.

Before they left they came to the office and she did indeed grab me and hug me and tell me she loved me. Strange, but they were leaving and I was busy and promptly forgot about them. Almost 2 hours went by and suddenly they were back. HeWho is a soft touch happened to be in the office to hear the tale of woe. Seems there were two vans and one was broken down almost 2 hours south of our location. The couple was Kansas bound and the tow to Kansas would have been quite costly.

HeWho seems to have no bottom to the depths of his willingness to help a stranger gave away a free tow on our AAA account and let them bring it here. You would have to ask him why he thought this to be a good idea. The couple came back yet again and were unable to drive on, despite her saying she needed to get back to her child. Her van was equipped with a breathalyzer and would not start because they had both been drinking .....

I later learned that they had only met 4 days before at a yoga retreat and if her pupils were any indication, alcohol was the least of her problems. When I open the office up, I am held captive there until closing time so I sometimes miss remarkable events. I suppose she wanted to change out of her long dress into her swimming attire. Instead of making use of any of the indoor bathroom facilities, she stripped naked right there next to her van, making no attempt at modesty. 

After changing clothes in the open air she came in my office to tell me that she wanted to clean my bathrooms to pay me back for being so nice to them. She volunteered her friend of four days to weed whack. I dodged a second hug and went out to introduce her to my cleaning supplies.

She was appalled that I use bleach to clean the bathrooms. It kills germs. Enough said. I tuned her out and told her that it was readily available and it is what I preferred. She wandered back into the office just as the camper I assigned a full hook up site was telling me that a van was parked there. I asked her to please remove her vehicle so that he could park in the site he paid for. "What do you want me to do with the bleach water I mopped with?" I tell her to just toss it on the grass. She gasped and informed me that it would kill the grass. I explained to her that it would not harm the grass at all because I did it all the time and just toss it. Then she began worrying about someone stepping on the bleach on the grass. I opined that it would not harm them and that perhaps they should be wearing shoes. Finally, she left the office while I was apologizing to the customer unable to park and he looked ant me and said, "she went on a trip and never came back!" So very true. The guy was right there with her.

They each worked 3 hours which would equate to $60 they could trade for a stay. But the free tow was worth around $400. They seemed to think that we owed them free lodging. They stayed another night in her van on a site far away from the rest of the campers since she seemed to think clothing was optional.

I was in my garden the next morning trying to keep everything alive, since it is so dry the ground has contracted and big cracks are developing. I can see almost the entire ark from my outdoor vantage point. Most everyone knows this and it is so fun to watch them slow down the minute they notice me outside. Like when you see a state trooper on the side of the road ahead and you hit your brakes.

A red truck came in, totally disregarding my stop sign and proceeded into the park, never slowing down. Going about 15 or 20. Signs posted everywhere, but apparently ignored. I watched to see where he might be going and he slowed down in a spot that was blocked from my view, then he sped up on his way out ..... where I was waiting for him. I pointed out the speed limit signs and he admitted that he saw them, but he didn't think he was speeding. I made him admit that he never once looked at his odometer.

My favorite part, though, is his excuse for disregarding all signage. He said, "I know Drew." Was I impressed? Not at all. But, next time I get caught speeding I plan to tell the law officer that I know Drew. It might even work, who knows?

Next, I see the breathalyzer van coming the wrong way down the one way road. I sighed deeply. They drove past the exit and proceeded to leave via the entrance drive. I let it go, they are leaving. Wait, they are sitting still at the end of the entrance drive, not turning to go, totally blocking the ENTRANCE drive. I watch, my head starting to develop an ache. They sat there about five minutes before reversing all the way back to the front of the building.

Yes, I am painfully annoyed, but more than anything I just want them to GO. I flip the water off to the side garden and flip on the water to the front. I am watering all the plants in baskets and containers and dead heading as I go. I do not plan to address the drug impaired duo, still wanting them to go, still irritated with the "I know Drew" guy. But the guy decides to try to give me a hug!

I block his intended hug and can't seem to stop myself from asking about his reading and driving abilities. Both seem to be lacking, although he was obeying the speed limit. He assured me that he was paying very close attention when he was in reverse. I told him that was great, that he should apply that same method when the vehicle was in Drive and gong forward lest he cause an accident. My tongue, having been loosed took on a mind of it's own and I asked him what drugs he was on and warned him not to lie to me as I was watching his pinpoint pupils. 

They left, my mind rejoiced. I went on about my business, answering endless calls, checking in swimmers, going over the rules which each new group and making reservations. The time of day came when I was awaiting the arrival of overnighters. I stepped outside to change the turtle water and dump the contents into a flower pot, as it is great fertilizer. I happened to look across the park, beyond the pool full of obedient swimmers to the tent sites. THE BREATHALYZER VAN IS BACK!

They didn't "check in", just took over a tent site and set up the van with open doors and piling belongings on the picnic table. I called my lookout person and she said she thought she saw them come in again. I alerted HeWho is generous with our AAA benefits to find out what they were doing. They said they made it halfway to Kansas City, then "had to" turned around and come back. 

Had to? Was there a giant rubber band that was stretched to capacity and brought them back? No, HeWho is generous to a fault told me that they wanted to stay another night after all the hours they had worked. He went on to say it was only fair to compensate them for the work. I reminded him of the free tow he had facilitated and that the fact that the disabled van was allowed to be towed here had saved the guy a bundle of money, because a tow to Kansas would have been three times as much.

The guy proceeded to work on his van here. In my campground that is not an auto repair shop. Optional clothing woman had a spat with her new friend of less than a week and left for Kansas in tears. He finished his work on his van in the early evening, but stayed another night on a tent with electricity site, exceeding the earned credit by $30.

My excellent work camper woke the fixed van occupant the next morning and dispatched him back to Kansas while HeWho is a sucker for a sad story slept. I would love to say that made my world right again, but I would be telling a lie!

 

Worst. Weekend. Ever.

 I wake every Friday with an overwhelming sense of dread. I already have trouble sleeping and last night was no exception. My faithful companion, Cujo always follows me to sit on the sofa and try to find an activity that will induce sleep. The others sleep on blissfully unaware of my dilemma, along with HeWho can sleep under any circumstance. Or, maybe they just don't care. Cujo does and somehow that is enough.

I am booked solid every weekend this month and while that should make me happy and grateful for the business, it doesn't. More people translates to more problems, it would seem and this past weekend was, hands down, the worst one I have had in 17 years.

I was tired when I dragged myself out of the bed that I only spent 4 hours in. But, I had things to accomplish. I gulped coffee until I felt my heart arrhythmia kick in. I took advantage of that nervous energy and headed out to water my vegetable and flower gardens after cleaning my kitchen and tossing the ingredients for supper in the crockpot. With a book speaking to me with my earbuds, I went out to indulge myself in my happy place. I love nothing more than watering plants and communing with nature.

But, no, it was not to be. They find me, these campers of early arrival yesterday and begin a litany of complaints about the WiFi. One complains that her phone will not even work here. She is not getting calls and is unable to call anyone and she is sure it is my WiFi. I suggest that perhaps it could be her phone carrier, or maybe even her phone. I bit my tongue and did not suggest user error. Lo and behold when I suggested she go to settings and check them her phone came back to life! I thought perhaps she would move on and leave me be after that, but the three women seemed to want to follow me and give out unsolicited gardening advice. They managed to suck the pleasure out of my morning and suddenly it was time to open for the day and my moment of peace was not to be.

These were the campers who admitted that they brought firewood into my park despite the signage disallowing this. A mandate from the Dept. of Natural Resources in an effort to keep the Ash Bore Beetle from spreading disease in the trees. Then they parked their extra vehicles on someone else's site! They parked between the two campers next to them! They seem to have an overrated sense of entitlement. How very rude to take someone else's parking space. 

And that was just the beginning of the weekend from hell. I am resigned to the fact that there will be at least one group bringing me angst every weekend, maybe more on a holiday. But this past weekend brought with it four. The group that came in on Thursday is running a tie with the woman I literally screamed at. I have NEVER lost it like I did with that woman and the way she acted, I have a feeling that she provokes this from a lot of people.

I have recently lowered the speed limit to 5, but the group of early arrivers seemed to think they were exempt from any and all rules. They brought along a UTV that sped through my park with great regularity. I was in the office, unable to even yell at them until I closed on Friday after my poor behavior with the woman I had screamed at and dealt with a pool accident involving an unsupervised child of 10 who decided to disregard my "NO DIVING" signs.

The UTV was being piloted by a child and going much too fast. I yelled at her to stop and the adult with her seemed to think it was all very amusing and sarcastically thanked me for telling her to slow down. I was thinking of watering my tomatoes, but quickly abandoned that thought and took myself inside, took a cool shower and crawled into bed. I was hungry, but unable to swallow.

My camp worker and his wife were pretty much in the same state I was in, along with HeWho normally takes life in stride. I pondered about the the moon, wondering if it was full and somebody told me it was a devil's moon. Never knew of such, but found it very believable. 

The father of the child whose friend decided to dive and ended up meeting the bottom of the pool with his face came in to purchase something and I asked if the injured child belonged to him. "He's my son's friend, if you can believe it." Why would I not believe it? Is he a pathological liar? Why would he say that? I managed to keep those thoughts in my head and not let them fly out of my mouth and just looked at this person that some unknown parent had entrusted their child to for the weekend. "I told him not to dive and he said he was going to anyway, so he got what he deserved." He was grinning as if he had imparted some kind of special wisdom to me.

I was dumbfounded for a few seconds before I took a deep breath and said, "As amusing as you may find this, I don't think it is at all funny. First of all, their is signage in big bold letters everywhere around the pool informing you that children are not allowed in the pool area without adult supervision. Beyond that you are compromising my liability insurance and I don't appreciate it." What if the child had hit the bottom at a different angle and broken his neck? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

My mask sign is still up and I expect people to respect my wishes on my property whether they agree with me or not. I will ask if you are vaccinated and if you are, you can remove your mask inside. No restrictions outside. Most people come in with a mask on and have nothing to say about my sign. If they happen to come in with a naked face and I ask if they are vaccinated and they are not, they will put the mask on without comment or rolling eyes. I do not care to hear what you believe. You may want to challenge me, but you will not win. If you do not agree and do not want to comply, you are free to leave. I will not wrestle you to the floor and tape a mask over your mouth and nose. Just my way or the highway.

The woman I screamed at entered and when I asked if she was vaccinated she challenged me with "What does it matter to you?" I told her she could not come in without a mask, that there was a sign indicating that. Instead of leaving to either send someone else in to register or go get a mask she began firing questions at me. "Why should I wear a mask here, I don't wear one when I go to the grocery store? My children don't wear masks either, why should they? Do you have a mask? If you have a mask I will wear a mask. Do you have a mask? Do you want me to buy a mask from you? I will buy a mask from you if I have to. I don't have a mask, we don't have to wear them anymore. Do you have a mask? I don't see why I have to wear a mask.

She said more, but I stopped listening as her husband and children backed out the door and left it to her. I told her that I did not have a mask thinking to myself that I was not her mother and should not have to provide her with one and because she was still shooting her questions at me over and over, I pointed to the door and spoke over her saying "MASK" over and over again until she finally exited. Wonder of wonders, she returned with a mask in place and started in again about how she could go grocery shopping and then started to badger me some more.  I instructed her on filling out her part of the registration. Instructions she failed to follow, as she was intent on telling me how wrong I was. I simply ignored her and her tone until she finally tripped my switch as I was finishing the process of checking her in. I started at her until she shut her mouth and told her that she was standing on private property, in fact MY private property and that she did not have to stay here, but if she did she was subject to all of my rules. I then went on to say that I knew she knew she was standing on my last nerve and that she should simply stop.

Unfazed she picked right up where she left off and continued her questions that she didn't seem to want answers to. So I shouted at her to SHUT UP. She didn't and kept right on. I then screamed at her to SHUT UP!  

I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I am making myself sick. We spend all week repairing what is damaged over the weekend just to repeat the next week. People seem to have no respect for the property of others and the revenue I collect is not nearly enough for what I have to put up with. 

It wasn't always this way. Makes me wonder what happened to make people so self important. Some say it is all because of COVID and the quarantine. I don't think that has anything to do with the attitude of people. Some say it is because these people don't visit church regularly. I would venture to say that some of them will tell you that they are pillars of their church community, but when they are here you would not know it.

My mind hurts and I want to escape. I long to go outside and piddle around my flowers. People will see me, though. I have no desire to talk to anyone. My throat is sore from talking all day long on the phone. Today was a marathon of one call coming in on the call before and in the middle of a call making me have to return calls and then have another call endlessly beeping while I take a reservation or try to solve an issue someone is having. One caller called FOUR times in a row while I was tied up with another caller. You may wonder what the urgency may have been .... she just wanted to know if the pool was open. She then proceeded to tell me that her niece was visiting from out of state and she wanted to bring her and her daughter swimming because my pool was so nice and they loved swimming here. Two other calls beeped in while I was trying to be polite and I had to return those calls. All. Day. Long.

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Mask, No Service

 I still have my sign up requiring a mask over your mouth and nose before entering the office. There are still those among us who have not received the vaccine and those who have no plans to ever get the vaccine.

One young man claimed that three people he was close friends with had actually died from the vaccine. "What are the odds of that?" I asked him. He seemed to not know that I was doubting his testimony and went on to tell me of the many people in his family that had become severely ill after their vaccines. Things seem to be escalating and I was afraid he was going to add more deaths to be attributed to the experimental vaccine developed to harm us all, so I handed him a pen and a legal pad and asked that he write the names of his dead friends down because I was so disturbed about it and wanted to read the obits and offer my condolences. His memory seemed to fail him and the names were not forthcoming. Imagine that.

To all those people I like to present the question, "Remember when you had smallpox?" They will look at me with a blank stare and I will say, "Oh, yeah, you didn't, maybe you never heard of smallpox because my generation was vaccinated and the disease was wiped out. You're welcome." Do they think that vaccine was not experimental? That maybe it was developed long before the disease came along? That vaccine was a live virus, by the way. I was a child, but I remember getting it. Talk about a sore arm! They pricked the skin about a dozen times, then applied the vaccine. It had to form blisters and a big scab before it was deemed successful. It hurt! You had best hope for  nice big scab, because if you didn't have one in the required number of days, you would be told it didn't "take" and you would have to endure the process all over again.

Schools required that your immunizations had to be up to date or you could not attend school without a valid doctor's excuse stating the reason why. Vaccines have come a long way since then. People take flu shots with nary a blink of the eye. It will not prevent you from getting the flu, but if you do, it lessens the severity of it and you are less likely to die. Same as any vaccine. Now that we have all learned how to wash our hands there have been fewer cases of the common cold.

Your reward for getting your vaccine is that you can come in my place of business with a naked face. Just last weekend I met a man with a mask on. I had to tell him twice to pull it up over his nose and he decided to share his beliefs with me. Very tall and rotund, this was a big man with a high voice like Gomer Pyle. I kept waiting to hear him say "shazam" and ask where Andy and Barney were.

It would have been nice had he said that. He informed me that The Father had told him not to get the vaccine. Also, The Father told him to go to Kentucky and he was headed that way. He assured me that The Father had told him that Donald Trump was the Chosen One. The Father told him that we should not listen to the words that come out of Donald Trump's mouth ( I can agree with this!). We are to see all of Donald Trump's good deeds. So far I was just listening, but this had me wondering what good deeds he might be referring to, so I asked. Oddly enough, he could not name one. I couldn't either, unless tax evasion is one. I kept my thoughts to myself as we completed the check-in process and he recited more commands from The Father. One of those was to not read the New Testament, only the Old Testament and this would help understand The Father's plan for Trump.

I am beginning to feel like I might be a magnate for all the weird people in this world. The man was later seen ripping his entire awning from his motor home before placing it in the dumpster, sticking up like a flagpole. I wondered if he had been given orders from above to so. We had to remove it, as I don't want to pay extra to have it hauled away. I plan to remove the fabric and use it on the ground under rocks and mulch to prevent vegetation growing through. The Father has gifted me with a crafty mind, I suppose.

Just Shoot Me

 One day runs straight into the next and I can't remember anything except that I am overwhelmed and always ready to sleep. Given the opportunity I would no doubt be able to sleep a straight 24 hours, shower, eat and go right back to bed.

My computer and my WIFI seem to be in a conspiracy to rob me of my simple pleasures in life! Some days I can comment on the few blogs I find time to actually read and then there are days that my comments must be going  up in the cloud, never to be seen again. "Unable to publish" pops up far too many times.

But, as always, people seem to collaborate and want to stand on my last nerve. Last night, after I closed the door to the store and ate my dinner that must have been okay, although I have no memory of the actual food. I only ate it because I was swallowing my daily medications. The phone rang several times, causing me to get up and come back into the office to book reservations. Part of my job and I don't mind it so much.

What I do mind are the ones who call to "check on" their reservations at 8:30 in the evening and then proceed to complain about the placement of said reservations. I have no vacancies this weekend and have made every effort to accommodate the requests made at the time the reservations have been placed. If you ask me for 3 sites together, I will either tell you that I can do that or that I will try to rearrange things to do so, or that I simply cannot accommodate you.

Every campground in this area is full. Wait too long to book a reservation and you will be turned away. I am currently taking reservations for next year. A full campground might be desirable, but it seems to simply cause more problems. I can usually sense a problem when I meet my potential tenants for the first time. Most of the time I simply tell them that I have no openings. Long term tenants can be like squatters once they get their foot in the door.

This morning as I sat answering emails with my coffee in peace, the phone shattered my tranquility. It has been nice to say I am sorry, that I have no vacancies for the weekend. This call was of a different nature. When a long term tenant says "we need to talk" dread runs up my spine. She told me to drink my coffee and take my time, but I dressed immediately and walked over to her site.

"Did you hear the gunshot at 1:00 am?" This is not a question I want to hear with so many people in close quarters. HeWho likes to have the loudest fan he can purchase running on high for the white noise it provides. Why? I don't know. You would think that simply removing his hearing aids would be enough, but he has had a fan on for the last nearly 48 years. Sleeping in a vortex prevents one from hearing the world outside our bedroom. So, I did not hear the gunshot and was not happy to hear about it after the fact.

Her neighbor has become quite paranoid of late and insists that someone is out to get him. Claims that rocks have been placed in his water line, his car has been tampered with and that he hears "them" walking around his trailer in the night. He has been here for years and mostly unseen. No problems from him until recently when he lost his job. He has not paid rent since February. When you get that far behind, it is impossible to catch up.

He was next to impossible to find to ask what he planned to do about the rent. When we finally did manage to catch him at home to discuss his situation he had landed another job and was planning to pay every week until he caught up.

Since I had never had a problem with him, it was decided to give him the opportunity to work off his debt. He was a great help with the pool painting. He impressed me and my hardest working camper. That is not easy to do. Both of us have high standards as far as working goes. I would never ask anyone to do something I wouldn't do. I have painted the pool and it is not as fun as one might think!

This is when the paranoia began with the daily tales of nightly shenanigans going on. Incidentally, the same shenanigans started happening at his neighbor's site. His neighbor is much like me and not one to put up with hysteria. Her truck was keyed, her door lock tampered with. Things you could actually see and prove. She bought cameras and installed them in hopes of catching the perpetrator.

Last night when she heard the gunshot she went out to ask him what exactly he thought he might be doing. He claimed that someone had thrown a bag of "garbage" at him camper, awakening him, so he opened his door, gun in hand and "saw a shadow" and shot at it! He later enhanced his tale to include someone crawling under his car and cutting wires.

The bag of garbage turned out to be a Walmart bag with a few paper plates in it. I doubt the impact would have been significant enough to even alert a dog. I was standing there when he said the wires under his car were cut and "hanging" I didn't see anything hanging and his car was sitting so low to the ground that I doubt a skinny cat would have been able to get under it, much less maneuver around to cut anything. He was able to drive the car to go to work later in the day.

A deputy came out and took his complaint that a prowler was up to no good. We had no choice but to evict him. You cannot discharge a weapon in my campground. Will I need to make a sign? Shouldn't there be some things that common sense would dictate?

His stellar work performance dwindled after the pool was painted. About a week ago he stepped on a nail while taking apart a crappy old shed. That ended is career as a work camper. I sent him to the health department for a tetanus shot and paid for it. His "work" didn't even clear one month of rent. I have stepped on nails before and simply kept on with the task at hand waiting until I was done with my task, then tending my wound. 

You might recall an incident I posted in the past about the lawnmower picking up a screw that had been dropped and not picked up and shooting it into my leg. I kept mowing until I looked down to see it firmly imbedded in my calf just to the left of my shin. I tried to remove it myself with some needle nose pliers and failed. I texted HeWho had dropped the screw and told him to get home and stop gossiping with his cronies, that I had been shot. I know how to get his attention. When he drove in I was sitting on the porch with the pliers and my leg propped up. I told him to yank it out fast while I looked away. I poured some peroxide on it and then put a neosporin and a bandaid on it ..... and finished mowing the yard. Yes, it hurt and was sore for a few days, but it did not incapacitate me!

I confess that thoughts of limping and maybe making use of a cane did cross my mind. I could have been waited on and pampered for maybe three days before the novelty wore off. I admit that I got out of cooking that night and sat with my leg elevated while HeWho felt guilty brought me food and drink.

I finished the job at hand and didn't limp around for a week, culminating in a phantom mischief maker that I shot at blindly in the night. Upon checking the surveillance cameras, no body, ghostly or otherwise was seen. The motion detector lights did not come on. And as soon as we pull his travel trailer to our dry storage lot I will be able to incur some revenue on that site. His plan was to leave it on the site until he earned enough money to pay someone to move it for him! I would say "just shoot me", but given the circumstance he might just do that!

Run Away

If you might be thinking that my life got a little easier when the last of the holiday campers pulled out, you are wrong!!

There is a huge influx of workers in the area looking for a place to stay for the duration of their particular project. I already have quite a few short term monthly guys here. I have reservations on the books pending throughout the summer. This makes placing workers a juggling act. Some campgrounds will make the workers move from one site to another throughout their stay to accommodate their reservations. The weekend reservations are return business. The base of the business, if you will. Lose that and you might as well shut down. The workers coming through might stay here only one time at the monthly rate which is less that 1/3 of the nightly fee. When they go, you are left with a bunch of empty sites. 

With that in mind, I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. In some ways yesterday was worse than the entire holiday weekend. I went into the weekend already disgruntled from dealing with the man that had to be towed out. HeWho has the review sites alert on his phone and insists on reading the reviews left by the spiteful man and his family. I do not need to hear them when I am already super busy and I never respond to them and have forbidden him to. For all I know, he responds without telling me. Responding would mean that I feel the need to defend myself, and I don't. Other campers give me good reviews and some will even  dispute the complainers.

Reading the negative reviews always makes me want to correct the grammar and spelling. The man spelled sheriff "sharif" and one of his children says I over charged them by $20. At least I think that is what he/she meant to imply. In fact I under charged them. I was unaware that there were 7 people involved. Three extra would mean that I lost $24 on the two days they were here. Math, spelling and grammar seem to be lacking.

I knew yesterday was going to be hectic. The workers needing sites were scheduled to be at the new job site that very day. While some of them pulled in early and had their campers waiting in dry storage, and some had the foresight to make reservations ahead of time and they were all coming in, probably all at once and early. 

First in was delivered by someone else. I told him that it was a double site and that he would have someone in front of him. Much to my dismay, I find out that they parked in the middle of the two sites, so that when (at 7:30) this morning I sent the man assigned to that site to park I end up refunding him and sending him on his way.

I was nice enough to let the sleeping husband lay and when he woke he informed me that the truck pulling the camper in did not belong to the people occupying two sites. Later I learned from one of my many watchers (spies) that the middle aged couple in question were seen entering the men's room together and staying for nearly two hours. I do not want to know why, I can only imagine. The  people in a tent site waiting patiently probably heard things they will never be able to unhear and all I can think is that this is strike two. Three strikes will get you out fast. They plan to be here for 6 months and I am regretting their occupancy already on day 2.

Any bookies out there can start placing bets on how long they will  last. Another new arrival from yesterday wanted to go wandering through the park and choose the site she liked the best. No, just no. She wanted the most reserved site I have that does not have sewer! Says she 'don't care' about that. I, however, do care about that. There will be no dumping of the gray water and most certainly not the black water on site. We argued a bit about this and she said he (her husband) wouldn't mind pulling the camper to the dump station periodically. Then we argued about the pending reservations and she refused to understand how this works. Finally I told her that they could take the site I assigned or be on their way. I was told by the husband to simply ignore her and I told him that he needed to keep her under control or he would soon find himself looking elsewhere as I do not plan to argue with her anymore.

Not that I don't love a good debate, mind you, but I am tired and already have enough to deal with. This day is already not looking good. Only good thing is that it is overcast, 64 degrees and rain in the forecast. This means that I won't be dealing with swimmers. I plan to spend my day in the kitchen making strawberry jam and cookies. I might even cook dinner! Maybe I will just run far far away!!