I suppose the longer you live, the more grief will come your way. Can't be helped. Now that I seem to have buried my original family and I am the only one left, I won't be subjected to that particular hurt again. Not that I don't love my in-law family and my dearest friends and it goes without saying, my own children and all the families they have brought into my life. There is something quite unique about those people who knew you from babyhood on.
I keep waiting for the phone to ring and to hear her voice on the other end telling me things she would never tell anyone else. I did the same, knowing my secrets were safe with her. She knew my most humiliating secrets that I would never want anyone to know, every dark chapter of my life. I knew hers as well and will not be sharing them.
Everyone has been in and out offering condolences as I have tried to keep myself involved in busy work. The day seems to drag on and on and I find myself counting the hours left. I would be just as miserable if the store was closed, so I might as well be miserable here. I am waiting for that day when I don't think about her every minute.
In the meantime life goes on and things still happen. You may or may not remember me having a rant or two about our Grasshopper zero turn that cost $17,000. I have words about the mower every year and I think we have invested at least another $15,000 into the machine. It is a lemon if ever there was one, but Grasshopper doesn't seem to care that I can work their lack of service into every conversation I have. It is a special talent of mine that I shared with my sister. Every time the mower needs attention, it has to be loaded up and hauled 23 miles to the dealer, who may or may not provide us with a loaner, then we have to go get it after they say it has been fixed and is running great. The running great part is not always true.
My husband is a very patient man, he is after all married to me. I, on the other hand expect to get what I pay for. Promises were made that were not kept. He was led to buy this particular mower because of it's reliability. It has been in the shop equally as much as it has been cutting the 17 acres of grass. We mow every third day weather permitting and the dealer was made aware of our needs.
At the end of the mowing season last year, the clutch was replaced. At the beginning of this year's mowing, just guess what no longer works? If you guessed clutch, you are right. A couple of years ago when the Grasshopper was down after just being repaired I happened to be in earshot when arrangements were being made for it to go back. I doubt anyone would ever describe me as shy and I demanded that they deliver a loaner and pick up ours. They did and the Grasshopper rep just happened along for the ride.
I asked the man who seemed to be quite eager to tell me he represented Grasshopper if he had ever heard of someone buying a vehicle that turned out to be a lemon. Of course he had. We all have. During mass production it is bound to happen. Usually the car dealer, along with the manufacturer will realize this and make it right. If I have someone here and something goes wrong on our end, I will compensate my customer. Always looking for return business, it is the smart thing to do.
I told the man that our mower was a lemon and that if he had any integrity he would make it right. I did not expect a brand new mower, but a good trade in on a similar model. I am not greedy or looking for something free. I just expect a product to do what I am told it is capable of. He didn't agree with me and I have been relating my story to anyone remotely interested. I am hard to ignore.
Today, we purchased a new zero turn. NOT A GRASSHOPPER. We will never purchase another. We have been at the mercy of friends loaning theirs to us and we need a mower almost every day when the grass is growing as fast as it is right now. I have used the push mower before and helped get the big fields done with just a rider, but I no longer have the stamina to do that.
End of rant. I am certain my sister would applaud me and I would give anything to hear her just one more time. Life may go on, but she is missed.