I Just Want a Simple Screen Door

You may (or may not) recall my post about Charming Eddie and the screen door. I like screen doors, especially this time of year. A nice breeze can flow through my kitchen as I slave over the hot stove .....

I asked for a screen door as soon as we moved the kitchen and the back door. It took nearly two years of nagging an complaining to finally get it installed. It was a storm door combination, with the window and screen on the bottom. I immediately knew that it would be a problem, that the screen was on the bottom. I knew that at least one of my dogs would take on the challenge of ripping that screen out. I asked him if the door could be installed upside down, so that the screen would not be with-in the reach of the canines.

Made sense to me, but HeWho had someone else install the door did not agree. As I had predicted, the screen did not last very long. A couple of years went by and the storm door did let light into the dark hallway leading to my kitchen, but I still longed for  screen and a breeze.

I did exhaustive research on screen storm doors with solid bottoms and a screen on the top half. They are expensive, these doors with windows on top. So began the campaign for a plain old wood screen door. I harped on this subject on and off until he thought it was his idea. He bought the door and it sat waiting to be installed ..... not as long as the storm door waited, but only months.

This door was screen from bottom to top, but with a guard on the outside of the bottom half. I wondered loud about putting a similar guard on the front side. You know, a preventative measure, if you will. My idea fell on deaf ears and the door was installed. The breezes flowed into my hot little kitchen and all was well in my world throughout Spring. I leave the back door open when the weather permits. I can hear the dogs easier and they seem to be willing to stay out longer if they hear me in the kitchen.

Not long ago Cujo learned to open the screen door and go out by himself. I had considered a doggie door, but given Martha, the boy cat's, hunting abilities and the fact that he likes to bring special "gifts" to us, this idea was quickly vetoed. Cujo has a shorter body than Eddie and he is stockier. He could give the door a good tap and scoot out before the door came back to the frame. Toni Louise could do it, as well. I am pretty sure that Wall-E was capable, but he would rather martyr himself and sulk around inside, than join the others outside. I think he secretly hoped I would find the behavior to be bad and the other dogs would receive a good scolding, but Wall-E's martyrdom is another story entirely.

Charming Eddie is not one to shy away from a good challenge or to be left out. He watched and he tried the door trick. He lacked the body bulk to give enough oomph to his push and could not make it all the way out before the door came back to trap him in the threshold. I witnessed a few of his attempts and laughed at him.

Perhaps I should have not mocked him. After a particularly busy day, I came inside to find him strutting around with something caught in his teeth and hanging from the sides of his mouth. Screen spline. The spline is black and Eddie is black, making him look like a walrus. After I freed the spline from his teeth, I inspected my screen door.

He had pulled the screen out, in an attempt to escape, but was thwarted by the screen guard. This would be the answer to the question HeWho asked when I suggested guards on both sides.

Fast forward to this past Wednesday. HeWho took the screen down to rescreen the bottom and put the wire stuff on the inside. The door languished atop a picnic table until yesterday when it was re-installed. He bought a roll of the stuff and covered the door top to bottom with it. It makes me dizzy when I try to look outside. Not only that ..... he did not trim the stuff very well and the door would not close this morning.

I hear a drill out there as I write. I am afraid to look.