Saturday, July 7, 2012


Weekends are the absolute worst. It means I am in this office for twelve long hours. Usually longer. During the week I can get by with opening at 11 when the day swimmers start showing up. Gives me time to garden and clean bathrooms in the morning, then at 7, when the day swimmers leave, I can work outside again as long as I stay close to check in people. The day is still long, but I am not confined the entire time.

I stay just busy enough to prevent me from leaving my desk. I can stock the store, or do paper work; but little else. A trip to the bathroom is an event that involves locking the door and putting up a sign that says I will be right back and the phone goes with me.

So here I sit, hoping I can hang on to this train of thought. I was thinking about all the phone calls that suck the patience out of my day.

Me: "Hello, Kan-Do Kampground"

Caller: "Do you allow camping?"

Me: "Yes, this is a campground."

Caller, talking to someone else: "You talk to her, I can't."

New Voice: "Hello?"

Me: "This is Kan-Do Kampground, how can I help you?"
NV: "Yes, ma'am, do y'all allow camping?"

Me: "Yes, we do. Would you be tent camping or RV camping?"

NV: "No, we don't have one of those, we just got a new tent. Do y'all got showers and bathrooms?"

Me (tempted to say no): "Yes, we have facilities for showering, as well as bathroom available for your use."

NV: "What does it cost to take a shower?"

Me: "It cost $3.00 if you are not camping, otherwise, the use of the facilities is included with your stay."

NV: "So, let me get this straight ....... it is $3.00 to shower. Now if I shower, can I use the bathroom, too?"

Me: "Yes."

NV: "Okay, how much will it be if we stay?"

Me: "The cost of camping in a tent on a primitive site is $20. This would include 2 adults and up to 2 children. A site with electricity would be $2 extra."

NV: "So if I stay there, the shower will cost me $3 and I still have to pay $2 for electric?" "I think I am confused."

Me, in my mind: "You can think?"

Me: "Hello, Kan-Do Kampground."

Caller: "Are y'all busy?"

Me, after a deep sigh: "Busy? Do you need a camp site? Or are you inquiring about the pool?"

Caller: "The pool, we don't camp! I want to know how many people are in the pool."

Me: "I am not sure, I cannot see the pool from here, but there are quite a few cars in the parking lot."

Caller: "Well, then why don't you go out and look."

Me (while handling customers and checking in a camper): " Well, sir, because I am busy in the store and am not going to lock it up to do a head count of swimmers."

Caller: "Well, we kind of like to have it to ourselves when we come swimming."

Me (swallowing many words): "I understand and that can be arranged. We  can rent the pool exclusively to you and ban other swimmers for $100 an hour."

Caller: "What the hell, you are crazy."

Me, talking to the dial tone: "If you only knew how crazy, you would stop calling me." This was
his third call of the day.

Just a taste of my world. I would say it was the heat doing things to people, but I am inclined to believe that it has more to do with genetics ......


ellen abbott said...

people. are. stupid.

Val said...

I will rent out my motto to you on weekends: People Piss Me Off.

Of course, it will cost you $2 per day. But if you will go out and count people in the swimming pool every time I call, I will let you have it for free. There better be exactly that number of folks swimming if I drop in, or the fee goes back into effect.

Because there seems to be some confusion, maybe you should change the name of your business. Kan-Do Kampground: WE ALLOW CAMPING!

Brian Miller said...

haha...what are you are entertained at least...

Judy and Emma said...

Let me get this straight. Now if I drive my rig to your campground, it will cost me an extra $103 to go swimming and use the bathroom??? :)

Is your doll close by?

Joanne said...

"I must go now. Please call back when you can understand." Click.

Chickadee said...

Part of the problem of these morons is that they are NOT LISTENING. That would involve courtesy, thinking and common sense and it sounds like your callers have none of the above.And it sounds like the swimmer guy has a very strong sense of entitlement.

Kudos to you for having a campsite. After about a day of that, I would kick everyone out and close the campsite down permanently. heck I was getting mad and annoyed just reading your entry.

Mamma has spoken said...

Hum, I think I would have put each of them on hold for a long, long,time as in when hubby comes home to handle it ;o)

Lorenza said...

I guess those calls would make me answer bad things!!!
You are sooo patient!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

joanne said...

I see another bad day for the dammit doll...poor thing is really getting a workout lately!

lotta joy said...

Lemme git this straight...I kin take a shower for $3, but if I rent a site, it'll cost $20 for mah tent....

So what'll it cost if I jest bring mah sleepin' bag and sleep in the shower?

KT said...

I don't know how you do it. That's all!

dkzody said...

Oh, Lord, reminded me of the days when I was teaching in an inner city high school. I thought all the craziness was locked up within those walls. Alas, it has seeped out, into the world, running amok!

That crazy pool person just needs to put in their own pool. That would be my suggestion the next time they called.