Weekends are the absolute worst. It means I am in this office for twelve long hours. Usually longer. During the week I can get by with opening at 11 when the day swimmers start showing up. Gives me time to garden and clean bathrooms in the morning, then at 7, when the day swimmers leave, I can work outside again as long as I stay close to check in people. The day is still long, but I am not confined the entire time.
I stay just busy enough to prevent me from leaving my desk. I can stock the store, or do paper work; but little else. A trip to the bathroom is an event that involves locking the door and putting up a sign that says I will be right back and the phone goes with me.
So here I sit, hoping I can hang on to this train of thought. I was thinking about all the phone calls that suck the patience out of my day.
Me: "Hello, Kan-Do Kampground"
Caller: "Do you allow camping?"
Me: "Yes, this is a campground."
Caller, talking to someone else: "You talk to her, I can't."
New Voice: "Hello?"
Me: "This is Kan-Do Kampground, how can I help you?"
NV: "Yes, ma'am, do y'all allow camping?"
Me: "Yes, we do. Would you be tent camping or RV camping?"
NV: "No, we don't have one of those, we just got a new tent. Do y'all got showers and bathrooms?"
Me (tempted to say no): "Yes, we have facilities for showering, as well as bathroom available for your use."
NV: "What does it cost to take a shower?"
Me: "It cost $3.00 if you are not camping, otherwise, the use of the facilities is included with your stay."
NV: "So, let me get this straight ....... it is $3.00 to shower. Now if I shower, can I use the bathroom, too?"
NV: "Okay, how much will it be if we stay?"
Me: "The cost of camping in a tent on a primitive site is $20. This would include 2 adults and up to 2 children. A site with electricity would be $2 extra."
NV: "So if I stay there, the shower will cost me $3 and I still have to pay $2 for electric?" "I think I am confused."
Me, in my mind: "You can think?"
Me: "Hello, Kan-Do Kampground."
Caller: "Are y'all busy?"
Me, after a deep sigh: "Busy? Do you need a camp site? Or are you inquiring about the pool?"
Caller: "The pool, we don't camp! I want to know how many people are in the pool."
Me: "I am not sure, I cannot see the pool from here, but there are quite a few cars in the parking lot."
Caller: "Well, then why don't you go out and look."
Me (while handling customers and checking in a camper): " Well, sir, because I am busy in the store and am not going to lock it up to do a head count of swimmers."
Caller: "Well, we kind of like to have it to ourselves when we come swimming."
Me (swallowing many words): "I understand and that can be arranged. We can rent the pool exclusively to you and ban other swimmers for $100 an hour."
Caller: "What the hell, you are crazy."
Me, talking to the dial tone: "If you only knew how crazy, you would stop calling me." This was
his third call of the day.
Just a taste of my world. I would say it was the heat doing things to people, but I am inclined to believe that it has more to do with genetics ......