Stormy Nights and Crazy Days

 The clouds that gathered yesterday culminated in a major hail storm. Looks like mothballs on the ground, doesn't it?

The winds blew. See my drain pipe that is supposed to be attached to the gutter and rain barrel?

And the hail kept on coming down.

The puppy, Toni enjoyed the storm. She loves to eat ice, so to her it looked like treats raining down. She raced all over the yard and couldn't decide which one she wanted.

That was last night. Compared to my day that was calm. I shall share a helpful hint related to the taking of pills. I have one that is to be taken as soon as I wake. I will usually take it with a sip of coffee, or water. I was waiting for the coffee to brew, and out of bottled water. I spied my 2 litre bottle of Dr. Pepper 10, my new guilty pleasure. It was about 1/3 full. It is mine. I am the only one who drinks it, so I grabbed it and tossed the pill in mouth and took a sip straight out of the 2 liter bottle. I promptly tripped on a dog and the pill went into the bottle. I could see it floating and tried to tip the bottle just right to get it out. My efforts failed and the pill began to dissolve. I drank it all to get the pill. I wanted black coffee and this ruined my entire morning.

I know, you are wondering why I just didn't take another pill and throw the dosed soda away. Because I am cheap, that's why. I prefer to be called thrifty. But it never occurred to me to throw it away, even though my stomach hurt all morning.  You would think I had lived through the Great Depression. I didn't.

In my annoyed state of mind, I answered the ringing phone. It was The Squatter. The Squatter took up residence here at the kampground one night while the rest of the world slept. I awoke to discover his small RV and stuff on one of my premium sites. I checked the drop box and found that he had left a registration form that I could barely read and a lone ten dollar bill. He indicated that this was a deposit and the amount due was "?". I offered to go clear the matter up, but he who is the man of the house told me to stay put. Over a week later, he has still not paid up. His new story was that he was going to change some yen into US currency and pay me .....

He wanted me to come and look at his yen, you know, so I would know he was telling the truth. I told him the only thing I wanted to see was him leaving the park. Another offer to be shown his yen only made me more emphatic about his eviction. Show me his yen, indeed.

I bumbled around and did a few chores, longing to be outside, but the ground is too soggy and keeps oozing up over my flip flops. He who was on a mission to purchase a sand blaster (he says it will cost more to rent one than to buy one) asked if I might like to tag along. We drove 60 miles to be told that they were out of them. Now, I assumed that he had checked and affirmed that the Harbor Freight store we went to had what he wanted in stock. I verbally attacked the poor sales person and indicated that they should update the website more often. Really, who knew there would be a run on sand blasters? There went two hours of my life I will never get back, not to mention the cost of fuel and the fact that I can still smell Harbor Freight. Smells like tires.

Came back home to find a message that indicated two campers had pulled in while I was away and they could not find any full hook-up sites. Irritated, I called the number they left. The man told me no less than 4 times that no-one was here when they came in and that we didn't have any full hook-up sites. I have over 50 full hook-up sites and over half of them are unoccupied. he told me they waited "for hours" and no-one showed up. I looked at the caller ID and time of the call and they left maybe 10 minutes before we got home and were here about 20 minutes. They had reservations and he wanted to know if I was going to charge him, saying there were no registration forms out. They took one (I count them, remember, I am cheap). He said there was nothing to indicate which sites were full hook-ups. When I told him there was a legend on the map, he said, "Oh, I see it now." Liar, liar pants on fire. No, I didn't charge them.

I know exactly what happened. When they made the reservations and scheduled the trip, they didn't anticipate stopping so early and my absence was a good excuse to travel further towards their destination. Not only cheap, I am smart, too.

I decide to prepare dinner, in hopes that the day might end. No sooner do I start to cup up a chicken and the phone rings. He who loves to be in my good graces asked if I would like for him to grill the chicken. I accept this offer and wash my hands again to continue with my task. A camper comes in. Wash, dry, register, take money. Wash dry, grab dead bird and knife again. Phone rings, wash, dry, answer. "I have a strange request ....."   Go ahead, try to shock me. "I know some people who live way out in the country near where you are and I need a faxed document to be delivered."  

Okay, so you did. I lied and told the man I didn't have a fax machine. Back to the chicken cutting adventure and my camper is back. The faucet doesn't work.

I am closed now. The chicken is in the oven and he who plumbs is fixing a pipe. I don't care if we eat or not. I swear I can still feel the Dr. Pepper sloshing around in my belly. I want a do-over!