Crabby

This feels like the roller coaster ride from hell. I never know what my mood will be when I wake up. Some days have been great and I think that I am on level ground again. Then the most insignificant thing can knock me down. I know that my sleep pattern is out of kilter, but it has been most of my life.

Besides that, all I did was sleep for a few weeks. Sort of. Like a series of naps. But, a lot of them. Sometimes I would fall asleep sitting up with my hands on the keyboard while writing. I did not post those rather lengthy and rambling epistles of doom and gloom. I would re-read them in my more lucid moments and decide to just delete them. You may thank me.

I have been unable to fall asleep lately. I toss and turn and get up with the animals I have made equally restless. I have deliberately kept the temperature low in hopes that the chill air would chase me to my covers and hopefully sleep. I have the thermostat set at 60. The fire builder has taken on the challenge of warming the house. We burn hickory wood from the downed trees on our property. It always smells like I am cooking a wood smoked chunk of meat in here.

The ill-fated trip to WalMart left me anxious and that sense of impending doom is back. The happy light didn't help yesterday as I counted the hours until bedtime. I have resolved not to crawl back under the covers in the morning and sleep until 10, or 11. No matter how little sleep I have managed. This does not mean I want to be up at the crack of dawn either.

He who drags his cell phone to bed can sleep through anything. Little things like the tiny light glowing on his charger do not bother him. He does not lay in the sleepless hours and try to make images out of the shadows it casts upon the ceiling. He can let it ring incessantly before lazily reaching for it.

He always makes a show of trying to be quiet. His efforts are pretty much in vain. He seldom succeeds. This morning, the phone rand around 7. I had been up at 1:30 and again at 3:30. I was hoping to sleep until about 8. Two of the dogs jumped out of bed with him. Did he take the two dogs out? No. They tapped danced across the floor as they followed him to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to retrieve his bubba mug, then back to the bedroom. All this with a million lights turned on. The lights hit the mirror in the hall and reflected into my face.

With all the lights one would think that he could gather the items necessary for dressing without much ado. No, he managed to bang open drawers and doors and knock items to the floor. It is my own fault. I have been known to lay all his clothes out for him and I should have done it last night. I didn't and I am truly sorry.

During his percussion performance I gathered the two dogs still in bed and took them out. He still had not taken out the two following him .......... they had peed in the floor. I saw the puddles and the footprints of he who stepped in it and tracked it through the house. Can't really blame the dogs, they were not the ones who had me up in the night. What is the very first thing you want to do when you get up in the morning?

For me it must be mopping, cause that is what I did. I usually take the dogs out, then take care of my business and then let them in. Seems like the logical thing to do. Then I get coffee and wake up to start my day. If my mate is sleeping, I do all of it quietly and with just the light of day to lead my way. I am, oh, what is that word ....... considerate? Okay, sarcastic, too.

So, having accomplished mopping, two loads of laundry, bed making, dog feeding, and removing some of the tile on the bathroom floor (yes, I meant to), I take a quick shower and dress for the day. My hair still wet, I see a car in front of the store. It is only 10 am and I have another hour, but I go to see if I can help the gentleman. It is the tax accessor. He wants to know if I have built anything this year. Since a bad attitude does not count, I answer in the negative and wish him a good day. He apologizes for waking me up.

My hair is obviously wet. Does he think it is greasy? And, just how bad do I look? It is true that I have yet to apply make-up, but I am freshly scrubbed clean. So much for my self-esteem. Why did he think I just woke up. I am not in my pajamas and robe. I am fully dressed. I even have a stupid holiday sweat on, proclaiming joy to the world. Now I am annoyed at two men. Somehow, I don't think today will be all that great.