Bullseye!!

Another winter storm headed our way. For the whole nation. I was listening to the newscast this evening. The weather is the headliner here, as I am sure it is everywhere. But, what caught my attention was the meteorologist's unique way of summing up the local situation. He said that if the United States was a dartboard, mid Missouri is the bulls eye. Yikes! The snow should start at 7 am and we will get 2 inches per hour. Expect whiteout conditions.


He who would like to procrastinate had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I tagged along to pick up my prescription and some staples at WalMart. My car was covered in ice, but with some persuasion in the form of de-icer, we got in and warmed it up. The 20 minute trip took close to an hour and we saw 7 cars in various ditches and medians. I filled out the new patient forms (legibility and all that) and left him at the office while I trudged off on my mission. After all he is a grown man and I left him with a list of all his medications and questions I had for the doctor. He called when he got into the exam room and the doctor asked him why he was in. I forgot to put that in my notes to the doctor and had to tell them to draw blood. What would he do without me?


But, back to WalMart. I had my list at the ready and thought I should be able to get everything and be on my way. Not so much. The store wasn't crowded. The shelves were empty! No eggs. None. Not a one. Really, not even Eggland's Best. Okay. The entire cooling unit was empty, so I stroll along thinking that maybe their is some problem and they have moved the eggs to another temporary location. No, I went up and down each and every aisle in a demented egg hunt. I gave up. Next on my list was self-rising flour. I always get the store brand, it's flour, just plain flour. Imagine my surprise to find that shelf nearly empty. I grabbed the very last bag of Gold Medal. None of the Great Value. No all-purpose, no self-rising. So, now I am thinking that everyone hit the store yesterday anticipating the storm. Next thing I wanted was fish. Just a mild white fish. NO FISH. I kid you not! They had some catfish fillets that looked freezer burned and a lonely small chunk of salmon that smelled fishy. Thankfully they did have peanut butter and honey, and toilet tissue. No eggs, but we got toilet tissue. I mentioned the sorry state of the shelves as I was checking out and found that most of the employees had called in, so most of the items were in the stockroom. They were also waiting for some trucks that were late. I was glad to know that it was not some weird conspiracy targeted at me. Targeted ........Target ..........WalMart ...........Conspiracy. Bulls Eye????


Sometimes I just can't help myself.