Dodging Bullets

 Endlessly this phone rings, calls on top of calls, causing me to make many call backs. Most of the calls should simply be reservations, but they aren't.

I get telemarketer calls and simply disconnect the line and on about my business. I get very few wrong numbers, unless you count the massive number of calls for the past two months from people looking to buy a pit bull puppy in Kansas City. Craigs List ad used my phone number and by the time I became aware that the number had been published, the ad was gone. Annoying, but not the end of the world.

The most annoying calls come from people saying they are looking to make a reservation, then pause dramatically. This  causes me to have to pull the information from them in bits and pieces. After ascertaining the particular date, I have to wait patiently and hear the tale of the purchase of the camper and have them tell me they are new at this (really, I couldn't tell!). Next we need to know the electrical needs and the length of the unit. 

These are usually unknown factors. They will yell at another person somewhere nearby and that person  is equally uninformed. This causes me to launch my investigation. "Does your plug have three prongs or four prongs?" They will usually ask which plug. This is when I know I will be on this call for quite some time. I am assuming they have the camper in their possession and could just go look at the plug. I get various answers like "Well, the camper is blue and white." "We don't exactly have the camper yet."

Different answers come to mind as I am picking away at the mystery at hand. I hold my tongue most of the time and force it to be civil and polite. Sometimes current events taking place in the campground can cause me to be very abrupt. Not quite a month ago I accepted a monthly camper of an older variety after seeing the picture of the camper. Though old, it was in decent condition. Someone had taken very good care of it. I met the people and was led to believe they would be inhabiting the site ....

Bait and switch! Turns out the mother of the man with a teenaged son was looking to dump her problems on me. I was not at all happy when I learned this and I told her I would give him one month and that at the end of the month he might have to vacate depending on his actions in that time frame. I was VERY clear about the rules.

The first week was ok. The man did seem to wander around and insert himself into the lives of other campers and not take the hint that they were not interested in spending their time with him. The second week brought many complaints. He just wouldn't leave anyone alone and it came to my attention that a woman was spending her nights here. My rates cover 2 adults and up to 2 children under the age of 14. His son is 17, so as far as I am concerned, he is violating this rule. The woman was spoken to about her driving habits twice by me. Speeding and going the wrong way on a road clearly marked ONE WAY. 

One early morning when I was out in my gardens (6 am) I noted that she was coming out the wrong way and speeding. Probably thinking that most people were not up and she would not get caught. He came along my private drive a couple of hours later while I was still working my gardens and he disrupted my peace. I was not very nice as I reprimanded him about noise complaints in the very early hours of the morning and I asked him if that woman lived there. He lied and said that she was his care giver, but that she did not spend the night here. I called him on it, after seeing her depart that very morning. I told him then that one more complaint about noise would have him leaving here.

In the meantime I have printed the list of rules and given them to any long term campers to be read, signed and returned to the office. He crumpled his and did not return them or sign them. He had many guests show up last Sunday and they were all in the pool. The sign at the entrance drive instructs visitors to check in at the office and I tell everyone the rules when they come in to register and pay the very first day. I am clear about the rules, no gray areas for misinterpretation.

His month is up. He has to go. I dispatched HeWho to do the deed and his side kick assured me that he was quite clear about it. Mail came today for his "caregiver". Kind of a dead giveaway that she is indeed living here.

So, yesterday when the phone rang and I was questioning the woman about her new purchase that she said she wanted to set up here and live in it when she slipped and said that the location was great because they each had to go in opposite directions of equal distance to work. When I asked how many people would be living in it she finally told me it was for her daughter and her "man".  I told her them that they would have to get background checks and they would have to cover that expense. She told me then that they were both on probation. Before my filter was in place I replied "Oh, absolutely not!" To which she asked what that meant! 

What did she think it meant? It means I dodged a bullet!