Saturday, March 9, 2013

There Will Be DNA Testing!


It was not the burlap, still sick, but feeling a little better. I tired of watching TV and playing spider solitaire. I knew I was feeling better when boredom set in. Last night was awful, I was not tired enough to get to sleep easily. If only my body could keep up with my mind .......

So, there I was, on the precipice of sweet slumber. I hit the button on the remote and turned the TV off. He Who never has trouble sleeping had been asleep for quite some time. Long enough to start snoring and develop a rhythm. I did the poke in the side to make him roll over, but it only lasted a few minutes, before he rolled back and took up his night song. It was so loud that Wall-E actually left the room and slept on my love seat. Toni Louise escaped under the covers and Oscar must be hard of hearing, as it didn't seem to faze him in the least.

I took my pillow to the foot of the bed and grabbed my favorite quilt (the one with the chewed edges from Toni Louise) and tucked it around me. From this position I can see out the window. I like the window open in warm weather and I can listen to the wind ruffle the rosemary and basil I have planted just under the window. Smells heavenly. But, last night, all I cold see was the mounds of dirty snow and the naked branches of my peach tree.

I got up again and put the room darkening shade down. Settled in for a long chat with my companion, Insomnia. I don't mind it every now and again, as these chats can be useful when I am pondering a problem. Not too very long ago, I was perturbed by the pocket depth of fitted sheets. I was upset, having lost my favorite set of sheets to rough heels. The bottom sheet wore out right where our heels are and developed a tear. The top sheet was still in good condition, as well as the pillow cases. I bought them at Target and they lasted over 5 years. They came with 4 pillow cases an were subtly striped, making it easier to make the bed, since  a king bed is almost square ...... almost.

If you recall, I saved the worn out sheet. It has been hanging out in my sewing room, no doubt  pondering its' fate. As I was flipping through the files in my mind for a subject to put before Insomnia, I remembered the sheet. I still have the top sheet, lonely and unused without a mate. The part of the fitted sheet that is elasticized and holds it onto the mattress is in perfectly good shape ........ so why can't I just cut that part off and attach it to the top sheet and create one sheet?

Insomnia thinks I may just be on to something. I wanted to get up and try my idea out, but stopped to reason with myself. First of all, it was cold and I was loathe to give up my warm, if noisy, nest. Second, I would need the bed for my experiment. Instead, I perfected my method. I was ready as soon as the sun came up and I could boot He Who snores out of the bed.

I needed the bed to create the sheet. As I dug through the top shelf of the linen cupboard, I discovered a queen top sheet that was more suited to my experiment. It is white and my beloved injured sheet is cream. I am still going to need a top sheet, and I would waste a lot of the king top sheet. Well, I wouldn't waste it, I would have another project to discover. But, the queen sheet had about a 5 inch overhang on each side of the mattress, more at the top and bottom.

I stripped my bed down to the mattress pad and spread the queen sheet evenly. I had carefully removed the hems on all four sides. Using straight pins I mitered the corners. Easy to do if you know how to make a hospital bed. Just pull up the side at a 90 degree angle and pin it off. Then I sewed the seam along the pin line. If you do it right, you should be left with a perfect square of fabric when you trim the excess off. This will guarantee a tight fit when you make the bed ...... and I hate wrinkles in my sheets. It could cause insomnia!

After I created the mitered corners, I simply sewed the elasticized bottom to the new top, right sides together. It worked! It successfully added 4" to the depth of the "pocket". My next step will be to replace the elastic to make it tighter at the corners. I actually tucked a good 3" under the mattress.

Basking in my success, I put my new old sheet set on the bed and continued making it. All was well in my world ........ until I discovered IT. One of my pets has a death wish! A hole, A HOLE in my new quilt! My quilt made from thrift store jeans. My quilt, so recently done, that I spent many hours cutting and stitching with my arthritic hands. Definitely chewed, this hole with raw edges. This hole that goes through all the layers. I can patch it, but that is small comfort right now, as my cold meds are wearing off.

I wonder how much DNA testing would cost to find the culprit. Insomnia and I will have a whole new problem to ponder when next we meet!

7 comments:

luksky said...

I know this is off the subject, but I thought about you today as I was browsing through Pinterest. Someone had made flowers out of old zippers. Very cute.

Mamma has spoken said...

Ah the wonders of having dogs in the house! I want DNA testing done too. To all those pee stains in my carpet!

Brian Miller said...

oh no...not the new quilt...that is terrible...i am sorry...and hope you are feeling better soon as well...

Pat said...

At least you think creatively when you can't sleep! I worry about things!

Joanne Noragon said...

When we came home to a dogs left alone house we knew there was trouble if Angus had his "You won't believe what she did this time" look.

Val said...

I don't mean to point fingers, but sweet Toni Louise is my prime suspect.

joanne said...

ruh-roh! I'm sure the guilty party is feeling guilty about such an unbelievable lapse of judgement. Love you sheet idea, you and insomnia seem to come up with a lot of good ones, me and insomnia well...we just fight.