Escape Artist Tricks

I was having a good day, really, I was. Despite the fact that I was faced with lugging my giant denim quilt to the commercial machine at the laundry. I decided to make it an adventure. I loaded the car and made my grocery list, and checked it twice (just like Santa does). I remembered to grab my cell phone and even remembered to stuff my pockets with quarters. It takes $5.50 to wash that quilt made of cut-up thrift store jeans. But, I know it won't fit in my machine, so, I have no choice.

While the big machine sloshes and swirls, I meander down the street. I check out a re-sale shop, but the stale odor of cigarette smoke hanging in the air and the barking dog send me back outside. I decided to just "window shop". After 24 minutes, my quilt was clean and I loaded it into the car wet, so I could hang it out at home.

Went to the grocery and bought the necessities for Easter dinner and drove home with my clean smelling quilt in the front seat next to me, the radio blasting out oldies, singing along. I see signs of Spring and all is well in my world.

Until I get home to discover I have forgotten the door key. I am locked out. He Who Tows is over an hour away. I have ice cream. It was on sale and He Who Tows does love ice cream. I have no choice but to break in. No biggie, I have done it before. But, in order to get to where I need to be I have to walk through the slush the melting snow has left in its' wake. I decide to lug the quilt with me and hang it out, then break in.

By the time I finally get into my house, the dogs are insane with excitement and I am wet up to my calves. The canine contingent loves to see Mommy enter the house in a not normal way. After assuring them that it is, indeed, their mommy, I squish out to the car to unload the rest of my booty. Then I took off the wet shoes and pants and put the groceries away.

During the putting up of the groceries, I let the dogs and the cat out and some of them back in. I put all the cold stuff away, then made a sandwich and sat down to check my e-mail and unwind.

I heard Toni Louise bark, as if to be let in. I decided she could wait until I finished eating. She got a little persistent, with her demanding bark. I swear, it was so loud, it was like she was inside! I did leave the door open, but the storm door was shut. I gave the last of my sandwich to the two dogs begging at my feet and went to let her in. I opened the door, but she was not there. I called her name, but she did not come.

I saw a shadow through the fence and changed the tone of my voice and demanded that she come to me ...... right now. I saw the shadow walk away. I search the parts of the yard that are not visible from the back door and determined that she was not in the yard. I found no signs of an exit strategy, but Toni Louise is nothing if not determined when she wants something. You will recall, that the last time she took off on a freedom run, she ended up in surgery to relocate her hip.

I grabbed a box of dog treats and put my wet shoes back on my cold feet and went in search of her. I was hoping the rattle of treats in the box would attract her. I met the cat at the door and Martha, the boy cat, and I launched into search mode.

I walked around the fence, examining it for any escape routes and calling her name. No response. She usually runs up to tease me with her swift ways. She has been known to go through a whole box of treats while eluding capture. Hot dogs are another thing, though. But she is nowhere to be seen or heard.

I am exasperated and scared when I come back in. Planning to call He Who loves Toni Louise as much as I do and tell him she is up to no good. I went to the back door again to check. I knew she was not out there, but, hope runs deep.

As I shut the door after calling her name again, I heard something swish in the utility room behind me. This area is not walled off, but is gated off to keep the dogs out. It was her wagging tail I heard. There she was, watching all the commotion that was all about her. Nary a bark did she utter to let me know she was there, the entire time I searched!

I was so relieved to see that she was safe that I scooped her up in my arms and hugged her. I should have spanked her! I should spank them all, the other two could have let me know where she was! I am exhausted now!