Thursday, February 28, 2013

An Unfortunate Event


I speak often of my canine contingent and my love for them. Oscar, the old, fat dachshund, is the one I shower with attention. He is 13 and has been the leader of the pack since he arrived. He is stubborn and cares little when he is scolded. He refuses to go out in inclement weather, preferring to simply pee on the floor and let me mop it up. He shows no remorse for creating extra work for me. I am his person of choice and I know he loves me and would defend me ferociously, but he offers no apologies for the trouble he causes.

With this in mind, you know that I am very familiar with my mop and bucket. When it is raining or snowing I feel like I am mopping every 10 minutes. I start the day with a big bucket of hot water with a splash of bleach and Lysol. As the day wears on, that water becomes cold and cloudy.
Something you want to avoid.

Last night as I was escorting the dogs out for the last pee-pee break before bedtime, I grabbed the nasty bucket of Oscar pee and decided to get a head start on my morning by emptying the bucket. If I go outside, Oscar will sometimes grace us with his presence. Not to pee, mind you, but to watch over his kingdom and keep his mommy safe.

So there I stood on the meager piece of stoop not covered with snow, bucket held gingerly away from me, as I was ready for bed. Not in my nightgown, but having already showered that morning, all I needed to do was undress, don my night shirt and crawl under covers. Wall-E and Toni Louise had already climbed the snow mountain range circling the building, created when the 6" of snow slid off the steel roof. Oscar and Martha, the boy cat, were close at hand. Really close.

As I lifted the bucket of Oscar pee water and prepared to fling it outward two things happened at once. Toni Louise decided to investigate my activity and Martha wound himself in my legs. I didn't want the water to hit Toni Louise and then have to bathe her and I turned in mid throw, lost my grip and the water flew straight up ........... then back at me. Missed my face, but caught me just below the chin and covered me to my feet. A very unfortunate event.

I still love Oscar ......

12 comments:

Jeffy said...

And then you climbed in to bed covered in pee water. The end...

SkippyMom said...

You can't catch a break Momma. Whew. I would be letting a few expletives escape my lips I am sure [followed by apologies]. And in our case Spot would laugh too.

Sigh. Dachshunds. Can't live with 'em, don't want to live without 'em.

Brian Miller said...

i am not laugh at you
i am not laugh at you
i am not laugh at you

no one got a video did they?
you could at least make some money on this....smiles....

Mike said...

Eww! That sounds like something I would do.

Joanne Noragon said...

Tony the Tiger might say Grrrrross.

Teri said...

Oh, what we put up with for our furry friends.

Val said...

Think of yourself as marked territory.

Linda O'Connell said...

You had to shower again after all. Not that this is funny, but I laughed out loud, because these are things I do.

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dkzody said...

It's not funny...but it is so hilarious. Ah, the life of pet owners.

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Pat said...

When you die, if you don't go to PEOPLE heaven, you will certainly go to DOGGIE and KITTY heaven!

And, yeah, I have to admit, I DID laugh out loud when I read this. Sorry! Snort!