Sunday, May 23, 2010


Mother's day has come and gone. I haven't been too diligent in my posting. We are in a mad dash to finish all the prep for Memorial Day. Every year we plan and scheme and are so sure that we will be ahead of the game and prepared for any event. Then Mother Nature steps in and shows us all who is boss.

We planned a brunch for Mother's Day weekend. It was to be Sunday morning. The dads and kids were to prepare the edibles and we were going to have a picnic style event. Petunias were carefully potted and ribbons attached for presentation to moms along with a card and verse. Saturday arrived with a blustery wind that could cut through you. The forecast for Sunday was for a lower temp and higher winds. Since we chose to bravely ignore the forecast on the previous event and ended up crammed into the small space of the store; I chose to cancel the planned brunch.I mounted my trusty golf cart loaded with petunias and good cheer. I drove through and made the presentation to every mom I encountered. Most of the moms in the park were leaving early anyway to be honored by their offspring. Sunday dawned with sunshine and turned out to be a beautiful day. Go figure.

My kids all called with good wishes from way too far away and I was destined to a quiet afternoon alone since he who made me a mother had to work. My buddy Deb came strolling in before leaving to be with her children.......... gift bag in hand. I had a little gift for her, too. I got her a salad dressing emulsifier. I am practical and she does love to create salad dressings. She is all about the bling and thinks I need some bling in my life.

I hate the picture of my appendage. Who knew how hard it would be to get those little frogs to turn around to be photographed? She gave me a bracelet.......... with frogs! I love it! It jangles nicely as I type.

I did mention that I am practical. I did ask for a mower. I got a mower. I specified that it should be self propelled. It is not. He claims that he heard me say it should not be self propelled. Whatever. I love the fact that it starts right up when I pull the cord. I love that the handle isn't broken causing me to bend over as I push it. and really, compared to some of my gifts on Mother's Days past, this one is a winner.

This past week as the rain came down day after day and the grass grew ever taller and the pool filled with water and had to be pumped out so that we can paint it, I wondered if we would ever get through all the things that needed to be done. We had a break in the rain on Wednesday and he who mows while riding tried to mow, but after getting stuck twice gave up. When he left for work I pulled my trusty cord and mowed and mowed and mowed. Thursday proved to be sunny, too and he who mows astride the fast mower that mows a wide path once again mounted his machine and mowed all the dryer areas. I mowed all day again to get those areas that were still too boggy for him.

Rained again on Friday and the "high" was 61. Even though it was chilly my phone rang all day with inquiries on our pool status. Yesterday it shot up to the 80's and today it was 90's. The grass needs to be mowed again. I decide to at least get my back yard done so that I can see the "gifts" my little four legged friend deposit. This makes for easier removal.My little Emmy is prone to leaving "gifts" inside from time to time. We rarely get angry at her, she doesn't have the best control of her bodily functions since she broke her back and had to have her spine fused. Not only that, her sweet disposition makes scolding her next to impossible. Hang in there, I am sharing all this for a reason.

When Emmy or one of the other dogs leaves a gift on the floor I grab a WalMart bag and scoop up the gift and throw it away ....... in the dumpster. Now, when "he who" is confronted with one of these little gifts he also grabs a similar bag and scoops up the deposit and then, for reasons known only to him, shakes the contents to the bottom of the bag, filling it with air and then ceremoniously ties the bag ......... and opens the back door and tosses it out into the yard! Yes, he does. He always says that he will get it "later" and put it in the dumpster if I happen to catch him in the act. I can assure you that "later" never comes. Does he think there is a poop fairy? Does he think that the poop fairy gathers up these offerings and removes them? If so, then I must be the poop fairy.

Today, I opened the gate and and rolled my Mother's Day gift; my shiny new easy to start Mother's day gift into the back yard with the tall grass. I am always on the lookout for dog toys lest I get one caught in the blade. I was mowing happily watching the tall grass disappear and kicking the balls and chew toys away as I went. I suppose that is how I missed it. I saw the white bag out of the corner of my eye and couldn't stop the mower fast enough. The wheel had it and I thought if I backed up I would be able to avoid disaster, but the momentum of the blade grabbed the bag and before I could say "Oh $h*t" fermented dog poop and shreds of white Walmart bag are flying out of my mower all over my newly mowed rows. Gifts indeed.


Brian Miller said...

at least its fertilized now, right? nice gifts though...the bracelet is gorgeous and the mower is nice.

houndstooth said...

*ROFL* Oh, it's the gift that keeps on giving! My stars, you're a better woman than me! I'd have left him a gift in the seat of his pick up or something if I found him doing that!

Living on the Spit said...

I always end up here reading something that I need to read, when I need to read, and that is one of the many reasons I love you so.

Love the bracelet...gorgeous...and the story about the mower...AWESOMENESS.

Wallene said...

Could he at least put a small garbage can outside the back door with that he could toss them there? Good lord that it awful to throw that in the yard and not pick it up ever. It is good you can see the humor in it tho'.

Sorry if you got hit, but I have to ask is the new mower okay? It is a beaut' but I am really loving the frog bracelet. Too cute!

cathy said...

Hello Kathy
I love you ((hugs)) - each time I read your posts there are things going on in my life I want to get away from and your posts are the perfect distraction
Oh I'd also like to be a fly on the wall on the days when this sort of thing happens. When you say people were ringing to ask about the pool, does that mean you let others use it apart from capmpers?
Take care
BTW I now have a new blog, you'll find me at Drop in some time - I'd love to see you

Rae said...

What a guy. Sounds like pretty typical man behavior. Heck of a way to initiate the new mower.

luksky said...

I am a practical gift giver myself. I am one of those people that give diapers and wipes to an expecting mother instead of the cut little outfits.

And yes, Mother Nature is very unpredictable...unfortunately, she is the boss. :-)

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

ROFLMBO - that was too funny! Fertilized, indeed. hahaha! I can just picture it, too.

Mamma has spoken said...

Oh I would have been so mad at that point! Nothing worst to pick up but shredded pieces of plastic bag with dog poo all over it!
Have to give you credit for mowing without a self propel lawn mower. There's no way I would use anything but....

Kathy G said...

Never having had a dog (in my adult life) this may be a stupid question, but...why can't you dispose of any excrement left indoors in your own toilet? That would take care of the plastic bag problem.

The Good Cook said...

I LOVE practical gifts. TBHITW asked if I wanted a tennis bracelet for Mother's Day - my reply? I rather have a new driveway... my sisters think I'm crazy. Nice mower and the doggie bags? Uggg... why do they do things like that?

Whitney Lee said...

I, too, love practical gifts. Through the years I've gotten a new stove, new dishwasher, a garbage disposal...these are of much more use to me!

So he screws up the wonderful practical gift by being a boy. Oh, I'm sorry! How does the lawnmower fare?

ellen abbott said...

I think I would have to have a 'come to Jesus' talk with he who does after that one.

Pat said...

So, from here on out, are you know as she who flings shit?

Frog bracelet? adorable

Lawn mower? not so much

But, to each their own!

Pat said...

But what do I know about Mother's Day gifts? My husband never buys me a gift because, as he puts it, "You're not MY mother!"

So who am I to frown upon a mower as a gift? At least it IS a gift!

Meggie said...

Sorry Kathy, but this really made me laugh. I had a similar tale to tell about 'doggy mulch' when Gom used his new mulcher to gather leaves in our backyard. He forgot to zip up the bag, & he & the yard were treated to dog poo & leaf mulch!