Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Peanut Butter

Went shopping yesterday to get all the last minute things I might need on my trip north ......... like a tube of hand lotion that did not exceed the 2 oz limit imposed by the airline industry. Mostly I went to ensure that love of my life might not starve in my absence and that my dogs would be well taken care of. Dog food and cat food I bought. Treats for the canine group and toilet bowl cleaner. We have very hard water and if the bowl isn't scrubbed every other day it will form a ring that is super hard to remove. It is with high hopes that I bought this. I will also post a note at eye-level in the bathroom with a reminder to clean the toilet, take his pills and put the cap on the toothpaste. Similar reminders will be posted about feeding the animals.

Back to the subject, though. What will my man with high cholesterol and high triglycerides eat in my absence? Last time I left I carefully prepared meal sized portions of things that could be heated in the microwave and told him daily what was available for him in the fridge. I returned to find all these "meals" exactly where I had left them. When questioned he admitted to eating a lot of fast food. So, this time I haven't bothered. He won't eat them any way.

His two favorite foods are peanut butter and cheese. Cheese crackers with peanut butter. He buys these by the case and keeps them hidden in his truck. He thinks I don't know. I know everything. He also eats peanut butter sandwiches. His combinations vary. Sometimes jelly (grape and occasionally strawberry), sometimes marshmallow fluff, and his current fave ... honey. So, I bought two big jars of Jif (choosy moms choose Jif). This should last a week, don't you think?

I like to buy bread from the bakery at WalMart and I really like to buy it from the day old cart. It is only 90 cents a loaf and I usually get the Italian. I make sandwiches with this. Last time I bought a loaf of Italian with garlic and asiago cheese and made some really yummy turkey and provolone sandwiches for lunch one day. That evening as we were watching TV in bed love of my life crept out and disappeared into the kitchen and in the dark made his favorite peanut butter and honey concoction. He reentered the bedroom, taking a big bite. He chewed for a second and then held the sandwich at arms length and stared at it, making a face of distaste.

"Whatcha got there, honey?" I ask.
"The nastiest damn sandwich I have ever tasted!" he replies.

I knew right away what he had done and couldn't help laughing. Apparently peanut butter and honey doesn't go well with garlic and asiago. I bought him a whole loaf of plain white bread to have while I am gone.


Mamma has spoken said...

Uhm, even with notes, I think you'll have the 'nastiest' toliet ever when you get back, along with the excuse of
~I meant to do it
~I didn't know I had to do it
~Oh is that what you told me about
~I thought you meant you would do it
I think you got the idea, but I'll say a prayer for you that he does clean it at least once while you are gone.

Rae said...

Husbands will never admit they need us, but this proves what happens when they are left on their own. So funny.

Brian Miller said...

eww...i think i may go brush my teeth love me some peanit butter though.

Kelly L said...

very funny..

Love to you

jojo said...

aren't they funny, really, such simple needs. I don't know why we fuss and worry so much when all you need is a jar of pb and white bread! take care and travel safe...jj

Lorenza said...

The same happened here when my grandma had to travel. Special meals for my grandpa that she use to find in the same place everytime she came back! Until she got tired of that and never again left anything in the fridge!
Hmmm... yes... that sandwich did not sound tasty!
Kisses and hugs

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

That sandwich made me smile! Sounds like something that Ron would do. too funny!

Pat said...

If he's anything like my husband, nothing will get cleaned until the day you're coming home. He'll eat all the crap he can find, too.

Nice try, though, with the signs for the toilet. One can dream....