I'm Dreaming Of A Hot Shower ......

My great powers of observation are still intact. While heating a cup of yesterday's coffee, I stopped the process with 7 seconds left. This made the handle of the mug be on the wrong side! One minute and thirty seconds will leave the mug handle in the correct position. Important information.

So, why was I re-heating yesterday's brew? Because I have no water. What? How can that be? The weather is mild and no pipes are frozen. My own fault, I suppose. It is that pesky power of observation I have.

I noticed that the pump was coming on and off every minute or so. This is usually an indication that we have water leaking (gushing) somewhere in the park. Sometimes you just need to flip the big switch to the pump and leave it off for a bit, then flip it back on ...... like resetting the modem for the internet. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I did the flip switch and went on to do a load of laundry. I stacked the dishes from the previous evening and readied them for a bath, as is my habit for an early morning hot water treatment to my aching hand joints. I was offered a dishwasher, but was loathe to part with cabinet space and I don't mind the dish washing for the two of us ....

Before I washed the dishes I was distracted by the need to finish an item in my sewing room. I transferred the clean load of laundry to the dryer and put another load in the washer and decided to sit down and have a third cup of coffee and peruse my lap top. That is when He Who Tows came home and I reported the pump issue. He checked all the sites in the park and found no leaks.

This when he decided to dicker with it. He did something with the compressor in the water shed outside where the holding tank for the well is housed. He would come in and flip the switch off and on, totally confusing the washing machine. I did suggest that he wait until the machine was done and decided to leave the dishes and retreat to my chair in front of the TV with my cooling cup of coffee, made form my stash of coffee beans my son gave me. Coffee to be savored, not gulped!

The dishes still sat unattended. The washer was finally allowed to complete the cycle and He Who Plumbs made a trip to the hardware store to obtain plumbing supplies. No water. Says he will have it fixed quickly upon his return. I really wanted a hot shower, but decided it could wait until he returned. I escaped to my sewing room, half a Vicodin on board.

I plundered and played and managed to accomplish very little, as I was longing for a shower. He Who fancies himself to be a plumber returned and decided to re-route something or other to main intake of the water supply to the entire park. This contraption already resembles the Mouse Trap game. PVC and other materials bearing metal clamps and such. These metal clamped parts have been known to fail in the past ....

I kept checking on his progress as the day progressed. I still had high hopes for that shower and the dishes still sat, as well as the fact that I needed water to prepare a meal. It was starting to turn dark. I went to the freezer and filled a glass with ice and that's when I saw water shooting into the kitchen from the Mouse Trap game.

Toni Louise and Wall-E were caught in the gush. I yelled at Wall-E to "RUN" as he slinked to his belly and crawled along the wet floor like he was in a race through an obstacle course. Toni Louise stood directly in the path of the water and tried to drink it. I peeked around to see He Who was the cause, flipping the breaker. It was amusing, if you could get past the fact that my kitchen floor was flooded and I STILL HAD NO WATER TO SHOWER!!!!

I threw together a pot of chili, adding to the stack of dirty dishes and we ate a frill free dinner of sorts. It was after 6:00 and I, still un-showered, was not in the best of moods. He Who plumbs announced a trip to Home Depot for more plumbing supplies and I settled in for the evening with canines in my lap. This is the time of day when all maladies seem to be at their peak. I dutifully swallowed my last dose of anti-viral meds and took the other half of my Vicodin along with some extra-strength Tylenol.

I was miserable and could not stop longing for hot water therapy. The plumber came in with his PVC stash around 8:30 and announced that he had a two call and would be back "soon" to remedy the water situation. I went to bed at 9:30. I confess that I did the Molly Shannon thing and put my fingers in my armpits and sniffed them ...... I really wanted a shower.

I must have dozed off nestled in my bed with four dogs and a fat cat on my feet. I tip-toed out to check on the water works and saw my hero hard at work, the smell of pipe glue filled the air and I watched for a bit as he sanded a piece of PVC. I tip-toed back through the still wet kitchen floor, noting that it was after mid-night.

I don't know what time my plumber came to bed. He was trying to be extra quiet. Despite the fact that I had no shower, I still had his side of the bed warmer on so that his sheets would be toasty warm for him. I figured he showered before falling bed.

I was wrong. The big gap of connecting pipes alerted me to the fact that water does not flow. The dishes still sit and I could fry eggs with the grease in my hair. The toilet does not flush. Thank goodness I have leftover coffee in the carafe or things could get really ugly here in the land of no running water.

Maybe Santa will bring running water?