Happy Anniversary To He Who Entertains

 "You know, that shed we bought to put my golf cart in won't do much good unless the golf cart is actually in it ......." I say to the man who will go out of his way to help a stranded motorist or is a sucker for any sob story he hears. He is watching Ellen. He is marveling at all the gifts the studio artists are getting. I have been outside loading a wagon with fire wood and kindling. The weather is mild and I am sick of being inside.

He looks up at me and tells me the golf cart will not fit ......... too much crap has been piled up in the shed. Really. The implication is that the garden supplies I have stored have not been stacked in a neat and reasonable manner. I go back outside and with considerable effort I manage to get the golf cart in the shed and out of the weather. The "door" to this shed has to be rolled up and secured with the Velcro straps at the top. I can't reach them. Didn't have to rearrange a thing to get it in, but the "door" was a pain. I still can't lift my left arm, but, I sat on the passenger side of the cart while holding the shed "door" with my right arm over the roof of the golf cart.  Insult my organizational skills and I will show you.

Last year, He Who tows bought a humidifier to provide moisture to the air while we slept. Good idea. Like all men, he did not read any of the literature accompanying the appliance. When he proceeded to fill the reservoir with water from the tap, I warned him that he should use distilled water. And like most husbands he disregarded my advice and proceeded with the tap water. We have very hard water and, as expected the unit was clogged with minerals quickly.

He decided to remedy this situation  a few days ago. I happened upon him in the kitchen. He was filling the reservoir with water and about half a box of baking soda. I did ask him what he was doing and he told me he read something and that this would "clean out" the humidifier. Sometimes, it is just fun to watch in silence, you know.

That evening, when I went about the business of preparing dinner, I asked him what the next step was in his endeavor to "clean out" the humidifier. The reservoir still sat there on the counter. He came in and emptied it and rinsed it, saying that should do the trick. I didn't laugh until he left the room. The humidifier did not function any better that night. He seemed perplexed and I asked where he had gotten this remedy from and if he had read the entire instructions. I pointed out that he had done nothing more than clean out the container that holds the water. I then reminded him that when I clean my coffee maker with vinegar, I actually run it through the machine.

I thought I had told him that vinegar would work better. Maybe I did, but it seems that advice fell on deaf ears. Yesterday, as I was putting away clean laundry I noticed the humidifier has some white residue all over it. I unplugged it and took it to the kitchen. The liquid that remained in the machine after the reservoir was removed was cloudy. White powdery stuff was on every inside surface. My first thought was that some weird kind of mold had covered it. I stuck my finger in it and rubbed it with my thumb .............. He ran baking soda through the machine! And not just a mere solution. He must have used an entire box!

Took awhile, but I finally rinsed all of the baking soda out (I think), but now I am afraid to plug it in. Vinegar, he should have used vinegar. Of course, he would have used straight vinegar and the air would have smelled like pickles or salad. Or, he could have just listened to me in the beginning and avoided all this. I have to admit that for 39 years he has been entertaining ..........