Doctor's Visit

The doctor's visit went quite well. I actually saw the nurse practitioner. She is new to the office and I liked her. I liked her so much more than the doctor. Last time I saw the doctor he seemed unconcerned and a bit annoyed that I had some questions about my medications. He didn't bother to listen to my heart or my lungs, just renewed all my prescriptions and told me to take more of the blood pressure medication. He did not want to answer any questions and seemed in a hurry to get me out the door.

Anyhoo, I discovered they had a new nurse practitioner and made an appointment with her to have my annual pap smear. There would be no way I was going to have that done by the "doctor". Not because he is a man, but because I don't consider him to be much of a physician based on my last appointment.

I had stopped my blood pressure meds myself, never having started the regimen of "taking more" prescribed by the doctor. I was only taking half the recommended dosage and feeling pretty crappy when my blood pressure would drop. Now we are dropping the meds and keeping track of my blood pressure in order to determine if I even need medication. 


After that I was thoroughly chastised for being so overdue for a mammogram and the exam continued on schedule. 

Years ago when I was still a practicing nurse and worked in the ER it was easy to choose a doctor. At some point they all came into the ER for a patient and one could determine what level of patient care they offered. This was how I came to choose the doctor for my lady parts long ago. He was very discreet, never made vulgar references to any of his patients (and, yes, a lot do). His office staff treated you like queen for a day. His stirrups had cozy little foot warmers and his nurses would drape you so that only the bare necessities were exposed. And ....... the speculum was warmed. It was as dignified as that particular exam could ever be.

I remember once, a few years ago, I had a doctor who seemed to like to keep a dialogue going as he performed his task. It was okay, I suppose he thought it would keep the patients mind occupied. I was just confused at some of his questions. Like, "So, do you like to dance?" What prompted that? Did he see something in my nether regions that made him think I could do a mean jitter bug? I struggled to come up with the right answer. If I said yes, would he ask me to jump up and demonstrate my ability? What if I say no? Will that prompt more questions I don't have an answer for? 

Thankfully he kept on talking and told me he was taking ball room dance lessons with his wife. We tried that, He Who loves to dance and I. It created a problem, though. We both wanted to lead and He Who has attention deficit disorder could not follow the instructor's instructions. This is what caused me to want to lead, to correct him when he was wrong ......... but, I digress.

The doctor continued his dialogue and looked up at me from his perch between my knees and announced that I had a healthy looking cervix. I was dumb struck (this hardly ever happens to me). What is the proper etiquette involved here? Is this a compliment? Am I supposed to say thank you? Is a reply necessary at all? 

But, as he was looking at me, I felt I should say something. I said, "Why, thank you, no one else ever notices!"