My new best friend! The cookbook, you say? No. Coconut oil.
This is 31 ounces or less than $10. Way less at WalMart. So? Doesn't sound cheap when you consider the price of other cooking oils? Maybe not, but I didn't buy it to cook with, although, I made some delectable Chex Mix for He Who complains that we have no snacks. Better for him than butter and it was really good. I used up all the left over Chex cereal and some unsalted peanuts.
Back to my unauthorized product endorsement ....
I am plagued with dry skin and for many years I have kept a bottle of generic baby oil in the shower. After showering, while still wet, I would baste myself with this baby oil. Rub it into my skin and I would hardly need a towel to dry. One little problem. I would be oily for awhile after my shower. Likes hours. If I went outside to mow, the clipped grass would stick to my legs like a bizarre garnish. But, my skin was hydrated and not dry and itchy. Baby oil smells good, too.
Not long ago, my friend, Insomnia, and I discovered coconut oil and it's many uses on Pinterest. Not only is it good in your body, but, also on your body. It will help erase age spots, wrinkles and is a great eye cream when combined with vitamin E. "Hmmmm," my friend, Insomnia, said to me, "perhaps we should purchase this miracle of anti-aging on our next excursion to the mecca of all necessities." So, on my very next adventure to WalMart, while in need of socks and drugs (prescription, of course) I added the coconut oil to the conveyor belt at the check out stand.
It says "oil", so I was expecting a liquid. But it isn't. It is in a solid form. Not like Crisco. Doesn't smell like coconut, either. It will turn liquid at 77 degrees, so if you dig out a spoonful and put it in your hand it will melt ........ unless your hands are very cold.
So, this is fine in the kitchen where I have a spoon to dig with, but what shall I do in the shower? I was out out of baby oil and my skin was itching. I pondered the problem as I washed the dishes and prepared a meal in the solitude of my kitchen.
I decided I needed a container to keep in the bathroom. A container I could sit in the tub while showering. The heat from the water would liquefy the coconut oil while I showered. But, what container? It would need to be waterproof. A ziploc would work, but I'm pretty sure I would spill it and then probably slip on the spillage and break something, like a hip. Same thing would apply with the open mouth jar-like container it was packaged in.
I was making honey beer bread and used all the honey remaining in the bottle. I left it on the counter and as I was cleaning up I had an epiphany! The honey bottle in question was plastic, held 8 oz. and had a fairly big opening and the lid was made for squeezing a stream out. I had considered the baby oil container, but unless I liquefied the big container I could think of no way to get the coconut oil into the small mouth of the bottle.
The honey bottle was perfect. It works just like I had hoped and liquefies while I shower. But the very best part? It goes on just like the baby oil, but it soaks in with-in 15 minutes or so and I don't look like a turkey basted and ready to cook. My skin is so happy! Soft as a baby's butt. I can't tell yet if my age spots are actually fading, but that would just be an added bonus.
It is certainly more expensive that the baby oil I was using, but that is made up for in the eye cream I am no longer buying. In my next adventure I will be popping corn with coconut oil .......
I can't seem to train my husband. For nearly 40 years I have tried. It is the simple things that will drive one crazy ...... and I know crazy!
First impressions are important. Everybody knows that, don't they? With that very simple theory in mind, I always try to keep the store/office neat and tidy ....... well, except my desk, but you really don't see it unless you venture around the counter. Unless you are my friend or a brave and crazy person you stay on the other side of the counter.
Last year when I added more retail space by denying myself a living room, I asked He Who Electrifies to add more lighting to that space, while not eliminating the ceiling fan. I didn't want to stick another window unit in that room and the fan will keep the air circulating enough to avoid that. The fan has no light kit. I asked He Who Knows Electric Things if we could simply add one. No. He even said it with authority, as if he had actually LOOKED at the thing. Okay, that not being an option (he said), I suggested two 4' fluorescent fixtures on either side of the ceiling fan ....... beyond the blades of the fan. I stood under the locations I wanted and pointed to them and He Who Would Appear To Be Listening nodded.
A month or so later, after much nagging and while I was away from the store on an errand, He Who Is Not Afraid Of Live Wires, installed one 4' bank of lights. Snug up to the ceiling fan, not where I had indicated with my pointy finger. I turned my new light on and was quickly disoriented by the strobe light effect that resulted. You can have the light on, or you can have the fan on, but not both. I want to highlight merchandise for sale, not disco dance.
Recently, while on a cleaning binge, I discovered a ceiling light, with a light kit attached. No blades. I save things, just in case. So, I presented my find to He Who would have disposed of my treasure. I suggested that he use the blades on the fan with no light kit and remove the 4' strobe maker. Did he do this? No, he did not. He climbed my handy dandy step stool and he determined that the blades would not fit the new fixture. Then he tried to detach the light kit to attach it to the existing ceiling fan and determined that it didn't work either. Then he went and purchased a new fan (without first consulting me).
He proclaims that this new ceiling fan has blades longer that the old one. It was still in the box and I could see right away that he was so very wrong about that. I commented that he was in error, unless said blades were hinged and folded in half in that little box he had. So, He took the old blades and was going to use them ....... but the screw holes didn't line up (the same problem with my found treasure that was absolutely free). So, once again, while the voice of reason (me) was absent he drilled new holes in the old blades to make it work, then took one outside to spray paint it (I had painted it black), since the new fixture was white and not black. Yellow. Bright yellow.
I can work with yellow, I like yellow. It catches the eye and draws you in. It is a retail space, not my home. But, it gets better. He painted it while the wind was tunneling along at what had to be a record setting day. The paint, on the surface that he had not sanded or prepped in any way sort of bubbled into waves. He did quit after that one blade, and I can fix it. He has been previously banned from painting. I do all the signs, etc. I suppose he thought that rule did not apply to spray cans of paint, since he does mark the dead trees that need to come down.
You may be thinking that all this is why I am annoyed. It's not. I am annoyed because it has been over a week and he still has not finished this project of his. The found fan kit lays on a table with parts and wires dangling, the box and packing from his new drill (he broke his old one and I don't mean anything mechanical ....... he broke the housing!) are all still as he left them in the store, hither and thither. The table under the ceiling fan has all manner of tools and wires and pieces of this and that on it.
I must go now and tidy this area, just in case we have a customer enter in and have this first impression. I would be embarrassed. He knows this. He knows I will tidy it up. And that really annoys me. What he doesn't know is that I would have simply drilled the holes and fit the old blades to the found fixture and put it up instead of buying a new fan. These things really annoy me. You would think I would give up on that training thing after nearly 40 years.
Who could not love this sweet old face? It is only occasionally that I realize how old my sweet boy is. I take a picture and then it hits me. All the white hair and the opaque eyes. Not to mention all the naps. He is still a fine specimen, my handsome old boy.
Oscar does enjoy his nap. He enjoys the companionship of Wall-E, my sensitive guy. What Wall-E may lack in looks is made up for in his intense loyalty. He is the protector of our world. He sounds the alarm when our space is invaded.
Best buddies, my two boys.
Toni Louise has reached her tween stage. No longer a puppy, but not really a grown up dog yet. Loves affection and gets a little miffed when she is denied access to my undivided attention. She is punishing me by refusing to look at me.
Martha, the boy cat enjoys napping all day, then inciting a riot in the wee hours of the morning. The diet would appear to be in vain. He has learned to hunt and is supplementing his meager portion of cat chow. He is a very handsome specimen, too. Just overlook the fat belly.
Still being punished, I guess. I can't choose, so it looks like I have four Valentines ........
He Who is my real Valentine presented me with a heart shaped cake, piled high with whipped icing and chocolate covered strawberries. He won my heart.
I watch the news mainly for the weather forecast. This weekend was supposed to be downright balmy with gentle winds and 60 warm degrees. I am not gullible enough to believe everything I hear. I was actually hoping they had under estimated how great the weekend would be. Hope runs deep.
I awoke Saturday and got started on my day. I had a lone cup of coffee and then jumped right into my chores. A recipe for a coconut pound cake had caught my eye the night before as I lurked on Pinterest. I like coconut. He who has a sweet tooth does, too. But, I have two bags of coconut in the pantry that needs to be used. All the ingredients were right there in my house, requiring no trip to a store and the size of the cake was right. A small loaf size, as opposed to big one. There was also a rumor afloat about a visit from some of my favorite kampers. So, a cake would be a good thing.
It was a Martha Stewart recipe. I carefully toasted the coconut, as directed. Too lazy to drag out the big mixer, I grabbed the hand mixer and measured all the ingredients, sifted the flour and followed instructions. As I stood creaming the butter and sugar for EIGHT minutes, I regretted my decision to leave the stand mixer in the cabinet. I didn't have buttermilk on hand, but a little vinegar and milk remedied that.
As I stood mixing, I looked over at the next thing on the instructions ........ naked eyed, no glasses on. I read the instructions to say that I need to save 1/2 of the buttermilk for the topping and I even looked twice when I felt like the batter was too stiff. Nope, I needed to save that much, I thought. I spooned the batter into the loaf pan that had been buttered and floured and popped the cake in the oven and set the timer.
My house was smelling heavenly of toasted coconut and vanilla and I was about the business of hooking another denim rug. This one is being made of 1/2" by 6" strips, using even more scraps of the jeans in the quilt. I plan to squeeze every square inch of usefulness out of those old ragged jeans.
The timer said 10 more minutes were left on my cake, so like all good cooks everywhere, knowing that ovens are not created equal, I stuck a skewer into the very center and withdrew it carefully. The skewer was clean, the cake was done. My first inkling of trouble afoot was the batter being so thick. The recipe said to POUR the batter into the prepared loaf pan. My batter was very thick and had to be spooned into the pan. But, my old go to pound cake recipe has to be spooned in also. The second clue was the weight of the cake I pulled from the oven. It was heavy. Still I cooled the cake as directed and then prepared to turn it out of the pan onto the cooling rack. When I carefully flipped it over, the whole thing slipped from my hands and fell!!!! Onto the counter, thank goodness.
It sort of split in the middle, but, I was still optimistic. That would not make it taste any different. I left it to cool completely and gathered the powdered sugar and the remaining buttermilk. At some point I had donned my glasses. I looked at the lone cup of sugar and the 1/2 cup of buttermilk and realized that would not make a drizzle, but a downpour. I went back to the recipe and realized I was only supposed to retain 2 tablespoons of the buttermilk ..........
The light and fluffy pound cake was as dense as a brick. More like the consistancy of chewy bread. A smal slice lays heavy on the stomach. I think I will slice the rest and toast it, then make a bread pudding. It will hopefully lighten up.
Turned out to be the way my day went. The wind was cold and damp. I didn't build a fire when I got up, thinking it would warm up as the day went on. It didn't warm up. It got colder and in the wee hours of the morning a thunderstorm woke me. It rained so hard I could hear it pounding the roof. The dogs were restless and downright scared. The dusk to dawn lights went out and I heard a loud pop of lightning. They came back on an hour or so later, as the worst of the storm passed on through. I had wondered if they had been hit.
Still cold today, with a gray overcast sky. Sunny and 60 degrees indeed!
The quilt. Not quite done. I have 3 more rows to go. The finished product will measure 112" by 96". It lays nicely on my bed and covers the sides, with a nice hang at the bottom. I still have to come up with some shams, but I haven't given them much thought.
When I started this project, I was just looking for a way to get rid of all the jeans that were not being worn by he who has shrunk in his old age. He would still put these jeans on and cinch them with a belt at his waist. Looked like culottes on him. Not a good look, especially on a man. The jean shorts were even funnier, as he has bird legs. I have never had that problem, remember, he who loves me once told me I had sturdy legs, like ..... bridge pylons. He is so very romantic, but that is not the story I am telling right now.
Back to all these jeans. I purchased some that actually fit him and removed all the ones that were too big. It was an impressive pile and made up over one third of the quilt. I acquired the balance at the thrift store, paying a buck a pair. I started out cutting 8" squares and realized I was losing a lot of fabric and added the 4" squares.
My family will tell you I am loathe to throw anything away. Nothing brings me more pleasure than making something useful out of something useless in it's original form. So, even with my thrifty use of scissors and measuring, I still had leftovers of these jeans. No way was I going to dispose of the zippers, so I tossed the remains in a large bag and set it aside to ponder in the night with my old friend, Insomnia. Insomnia and I have been known to come up with some very inventive ideas.
Jeans are made with flat-felled seams. This is the bulky seam that is 4 layers thick. Then there is the inseam,the hems and the waist bands. Pockets, too. Don't forget the pockets. The zippers are a no-brainer. You can never have too many zippers or buttons ..... and she who dies with most fabric wins.
I was lurking on Pinterest and saw that some enterprising person such as myself had designed some coasters out of the flat-felled seams of old jeans! But, I have no need of coasters with my double insulated glasses that do not sweat, and he who drags a huge bubba mug around like a baby drags his blankie. Not to mention the fact that I have miles of inseams and side seams.
So, here it is. A rug. Not big yet, but still growing. I just wound it round and round. I liked the look of it, but decided I wanted oval and just changed the shape. So far I am just using glue. I was going to sew it by hand, but quickly abandoned that idea when I realized just how hard it was to push that needle through all those layers. Now I think I will use carpet tape on the bottom and glue it to a piece of painter's canvas.
The quilt still has to be washed and dried, then all the threads clipped, But I like the look. It could be reversible, too. It has a nice weight. I like a heavy blanket, so this will be perfect. And denim wears well. Toni Louise is finally past her puppy chewing days. My last quilt has gnawed edges from her teething.
This is what Toni Louise chews on now. It looks like they are viciously fighting, but Mr. Martha loves his dog!
I will need to paint my bedroom and cover my headboard. You know how it is, get just one new thing, then everything has to change. In the meantime, I painted Oscar's portrait. It looks surprisingly like him! What do you think? Am I talented or what?
I read my last post and realized I was whining .... not winning, like Charlie Sheen. Whining is annoying and unbecoming. But it does feel good sometimes ......
As good as it feels, I refuse to succumb again. Today was a perfect day. The sun shone and I had my list of errands ready to go as soon as my feet hit the floor. Oscar, the dachshund needing dentures had a bad night last night. He has always been a demanding little guy. I think he was taken from his litter mates too soon and has separation anxiety. When he is feeling bad he only wants me. We were up about every 3 hours last night. He tried a new dog food yesterday, mixed with his old food, of course. Oscar has a delicate digestive tract. He liked this canned food, so much so that he ate too fast. He is greedy. His powers of domination do not impress Toni Louise or Martha, the boy cat. They will dive right in and share his food dish, so he gobbled it up as fast as he could, given the toothless state he is in. And, I paid for it. He likes to be held in a semi upright position to relieve the indigestion. He burps like a baby, doesn't smell like a baby, but that's another tale for another day.
In my sleep deprived state I ventured out and hit the interstate in search of WalMart and thrift stores. My quilt has made great progress, but I have once again depleted my pile of dollar jeans previously worn by very large men. I need 5 more rows of 8" squares. I have 10 rows of construction done and this thing is getting hard to handle. I scored 4 really big pairs, I did not know that one could actually purchase them with a 50" waist size and still have a fly front with a zipper!
From there I moved on to the grocery in search of Arm and Hammer super washing soda. WalMart does not have that particular item and I have decided to make my own laundry detergent. Two bars of Fels Naptha laundry soap, Borax, the washing soda and baking soda. You can add Purex crystals, too. It serves as a fabric softener and smells good. The hardest part, after locating all the ingredients, was grating the soap. I washed my first load. I didn't add enough of the Purex crystals, but the clothes came out nice and clean. They smell clean. And it only takes two tablespoons of this mixture to do a load of laundry. I have so much I need to include it in my will in case I don't live long enough to use it!
I may have exaggerated a bit, but I have a bucket full. I also purchased coconut oil. This stuff is good for everything. I hear tell it will fade those pesky age spots and is useful as an eye cream. It was $8 for a big jar. Eye cream comes in a tiny little jar at twice the price.
It has occurred to me that I am one thrifty shopper. He Who rescues stranded motorists is one lucky guy ...... I am cheap AND fun! In spite of the recent whining.
I never really got comfortable last night. One minute I was toasty warm and drowsy, then suddenly too hot. If my feet were warm, my shoulders were cold. In an effort to remedy that I would yank the covers and expose my feet. The cat would lay on the feet and then they would be too hot. Various toes and dog elbows poked at me throughout my misery. So, I got up and convinced myself that I would pretend to feel great.
Hot coffee soothed the throat and a hot shower made everything right in my world ....... for about 45 minutes. I gathered the tools I would need to clean the office/store and set about my mission. I swept, I dusted, I vacuumed. First I had to fix the vacuum. I emptied and cleaned it and fought with the beater bar. Never did get the beater bar to work, but I swept and then sucked all the dirt and dust with the wand. I was determined. Then I mopped and put all the seasonal stuff away and pulled out the pool stuff and got ready for Spring.
Throughout all this I marveled at how much I was able to accomplish without interruption. I was quite proud of how very fast I thought my achy self was moving. Well, until He Who Tows burst through the door. "Are you okay?" he shouted. I saw the big tow truck in front of the building. He had come just to check on me. But, before I could bask in the glow of his loving concern, he demanded to know why I was not answering the phone. The phone didn't ring, therefore I didn't answer it.
Phone service is out. Business phone. Great. I didn't answer my cell, because I have no idea where it is. I usually call it to find it. Unlike the rest of my family, I rarely use my cell phone. It is usually in my purse, or some obscure place I put it down thinking I would surely remember the location. I found it under a loaf of bread once.
So, I decide to keep going with my cleaning project. I have a new seasonal camper coming either this weekend or next, so I decided to get all the contracts ready to go. I pulled all my folders and started tossing unnecessary stuff and found that I only have one blank contract left. No problem, I think, I will just go pull the document up and print it.
The document file is in my old computer. My old computer that was working just fine yesterday. I open it and wait a second, then touch the screen. Nothing. Wait more. Nothing. Reboot it. Windows has been loading for 30 minutes now. I am profoundly annoyed. I shut it down again.
I can recreate the contract in this computer, it is not the end of the world. It will have a different format and I will have to try to connect this computer to the new printer. I just don't want to. I want to pull it up and print it and be done. Then I can sew. I want to sew.
The cold medication has left my system and I am feeling crappy. I want to stomp my feet and have a small fit. But, I don't have the energy. Instead I sit here by the fire with a cat peering over my shoulder and dog paws digging into my thigh and enchant the land of blog with my woes.
Tomorrow should be better ........
