Friday The 13th

In an effort to convince myself that I am feeling normal, I got up, showered and did my hair, and put on make-up. It is Friday.......the 13th.


While I was curling my sparse eyelashes I was reminded of a story that all my kids loved to hear me tell. The girls were horrified and the boys thought it to be hilarious.


When I was a young girl just beginning to discover make-up....... a long, long time ago... I convinced my mom to purchase eyelash curlers for me. My friends and I were all enchanted with these devices and HEAVY mascara. We would all examine each other upon arriving to school. It was called Junior High way back then. We would look at the angle of the eyelash closely and discuss how painful it had been to achieve this. We were all convince that if it hurt, we were doing it right.


One fine morning I was rushing to get ready for school and I whipped out my torture device to make my eyes presentable. I put the as close as possible to my eyelid and mashed with all my might. Something clicked..........I never heard a click before..... It was hurting more than usual, too, but that meant my eyelashes would stand more upright than anyone else. Imagine my horror when I pulled the devise away to find that the two metal pieces had clicked together and cut my entire eyelash off!!!!!!!!


I was mortified as only a girl of thirteen can be! It was a Friday and let's say it was the 13th (makes the story better, you know). I had one eye with and one without eyelashes and I was determined to stay home from school. My parents were just as determined that I was going. A power struggle ensued and since I had produced no blood with my injury I was forced to go. I was so mad at them, how could they be so cruel? I was disfigured, couldn't they see that?


Being the resourceful woman that I am (I started very young), I donned a pair of sunglasses and told everyone I had an eye infection and couldn't tolerate the lights. Well, everyone except my closest friends. We all gathered in the restroom and examined my plight and decided that maybe it shouldn't hurt when one curled one's lashes.


I am sure all my children loved to picture me lashless on the one eye and forced to go to school as horrified as I was as a young teen, I can now laugh about it. It was useful information to pass along to future generations of make-up experimenters.


They did grow back, just as sparse as before........

Melancholy

Melancholy. Mr. Webster's definition of this word is depressed in spirit, dejected, sad. That is a pretty apt description of my current state of mind. I guess it is normal to feel this way and for the past few days I have been simply letting this dominate my life. Oh, I continue to function and do all the chores that are absolutely necessary, but with a heavy heart. I have been reading and commenting and I have started to post a couple of times and erased them. They were too depressing.


I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to share this state of melancholy with others. I am supposed to be upbeat and witty. I am supposed to make decisions and follow through. I am supposed to make you laugh. I can't do it today and don't think tomorrow will be any better. I also feel guilty that I am using my husband as a buffer and he is as melancholy as I am. He has only me to talk to about the way he feels. I have a friend who checks on me every day. I am able to tell her just how crappy I feel. She listens and never judges. Love of my life is trying to be there for me and he doesn't have a friend to lean on.


In order to make this pilgrimage to my son's memorial service we purchased a '97 Class C motor home. I checked into renting one and ....... it made more sense to purchase something, then sell it when we get back. I used all my cash reserves for winter to do this and hope that I can recoup my money when I return. I spent the morning cleaning the RV and beginning to load in the necessities to travel. It is very compact, this new ride and I ended up removing the table to accommodate the dogs' kennel. The dogs are the reason we travel in our own accommodations. The cost to kennel them...... plus the fact that Oscar (aka Spawn of Satan) would no doubt bite his keeper and we would have to pay extra for that,assures that the dogs go with us. Emmy is delicate, having broken her back and having her spine fused....I would be worried about her the whole time. And then there is Wall-E, the blogging dog. He is afraid of his own shadow and would pee himself and whimper the whole time. The kennel is for him. It contains all things familiar to him and is where he goes when he is overwhelmed by life. (Wish I had a kennel!)


The bed is made and bathroom is clean and stocked with all the necessities. It is so small that you can multi-task from a sitting position. The shower stall; what can I say. I was going to put the kennel in it, but it's not big enough. Showering should be quite an event. The kitchen is small, but all I need is the microwave to heat up the pizzas and sandwiches that didn't sell this past season. Paper plates will make the nice double sink useless. I am not outfitting the kitchen, since we plan on selling it as soon as we get back. It has a 9 inch TV and a dish! Love of my life will no doubt take a larger set for the trip. Hey, we have priorities! All I care about is that the bed is comfy and the dogs will be with us.


I am thinking that I should either go for a walk while the sun is shining or go bake some cookies for my husband. Maybe I will do both and this will be a day of great accomplishments........

Red Sky At Night...Tulip's Delight?

I looked out yesterday evening and saw this beautiful sunset. I seem to be looking to the sky a lot lately....

What is it they say? Red sky at night, sailor's delight. This proved to be true and it was a beautiful day. I awoke early after a good night's sleep and was surprised to find that some of the gloom had lifted. I had energy to do more than simply make it through the day.

It is November... and I do have bulbs that need to go into the ground. So I gathered my one hundred and fifty tulip bulbs and eighty daffodil bulbs along with the new bulb planting tool that was a gift. I did not forget my kneeling pad. I was prepared! I looked at all the dead marigold plants that lie directly in the path of the wind and decided to go ahead and pull them all up to make the planting a little easier. A couple of the plants were still blooming and I left them to see if I could get a few more blooms to enjoy..... and they were alive with bees. It was 75 degrees here today.


So with a fresh slate I grab my handy dandy bulb digger and prepare to begin. How hard could it be? You shove the thing into the soil and pull the dirt up and release it, put the bulb in and then put the soil on top. Easy. I kneel on my knee saver and push my gadget into the ground.... then I gave it more power..... then I put both hands on the top and pushed with all my might and wiggled it and finally had it as deep as necessary. I pull it up with some difficulty and try to dislodge the dirt. I tap the devise and pull the little handle and the dirt remains lodged inside like a huge gob of peanut butter with glue in it. I try tapping it against a rock and finally pick up a good sturdy stick and jam it into the mucky clay like soil and finally loose it. I carefully choose a tulip and wonder what color it will be I place it pointed side up in the hole and then add a little layer of soil, then top it with a daffodil and top it off with the rest of the soil.


Two down, 228 to go. Hmmmm. Maybe I simply haven't mastered this new tool... but wait I had one similar to it before and never had this much trouble. Could it be the soil and all the rain? Maybe. But, I am determined. I get 14 more bulbs in the ground and I am exhausted. I go inside and grab a cold drink. I get a fire going in the bonfire pit to take care of all the dead branches and plants I have removed. I rake a little. But I am really determined to get these in the ground. Much to my relief Deb comes up, bucket in hand...... is she here to help? Not so much. She was sick all last week and she is looking not so good. She offers the bucket to me and says that she only got 6 of hers in the ground. She wonders if we should just hire someone to put them in.... What is wrong with her? She really is sick!


She did bring this tool that looks like a giant fat nail. You can shove this bad boy in with one hand and ream out a good sized hole with no soil to unclog. I am happy to report that although every muscle in my body hurts like hell I successfully planted all 230 bulbs!! I will confess that I had thoughts of just throwing them on the ground and buying potting soil and covering them. I even thought of tossing them in the compost bin and rescuing them in the spring. Mostly I thought of tossing them in the dumpster, but I could never do something that wasteful. They had better come up!

Free Motion

I was driving down the interstate today on a run to the grocery. The sky was blue with white fluffy clouds and the sun was shining. After all the rain I was in hopes that this would lighten my spirits. I have been sad since my son died. Sad seems like an inadequate word... and it is. I don't have words to express what has been in my mind and heart. I don't know that those words even exist. I have been in a sort of fog since I was told of his death and I know that I have a lot of feelings to sort and that will take time.


It was in this mood that I was driving along. Just staring out the window I happened to look up ahead to see a flock of birds suddenly swoop down and then up again and suddenly disappear. Then they reappeared as they turned and scattered into another formation. It was a huge flock. I am sure they are migrating south. They were far enough away to not be able to see what species they were, they appeared black. They swooped up and down and to the side, looking like the tail of a kite. When they turned a certain way they were invisible until turning again to darken the sky.


I longed to feel that freedom of motion. They appeared to be playing chicken with the cars and trucks on the interstate as they swooped down and then up. Were they just reveling in being? In the moment of exhilaration? Is that what my son's ashes would look like if I were to loose them into the sky?


My son's ashes arrived today. He will be interred on the 21st of this month in Georgia. My job is to bring his ashes to the service. This will be the last trip he will ever take... Forever is a long time.

Halloween

The wizard won the witch...... and then she gave me a kiss!

This whole party was a success because of this woman and all her hard work and organization. My best friend, Deb. She held my hand through my grief and helped me put it all together. She picked me up when I fell down and gave me a shove when I felt I couldn't go on. I would have canceled the whole thing and held a pity party instead, but she would not let me. She is just what the doctor ordered and I love her for holding me together.

Despite the weather a hardy group of campers showed up for the party. These are the entries of the pumpkin carving contest.

Love of my life got our bonfire going before the sun went down. With a little help from a propane torch.........

Let the eating begin! Everyone went through the line and tasted each chili and salsa first and cast their ballot...... Then they were allowed to really eat.

Due to the bitter gusts of wind we had to put the buffet line inside the tent instead of outside. See the hay on the ground? To soak up the water squishing up out of the ground.

Hey, it's not Easter....... so why is there a bunny here? Ohhhh, I get it now.

The winning carving was....... M I C... K E Y.... MOUSE.

My personal favorite is the one that says.... KAN-DO ROCKS! I snuck a prize to Alyssa for this one.

Wicked cute little faces!

Cutest costume went to the smallest guy here. That shirt will swallow him, but he was so cute!

Check it out!

You just want to kiss those cheeks, don't you?

Trust me...... she is no angel! This really is a misleading costume!

It was hard to catch the winners for a photo op. Jan is a good sport and an excellent cook. See the glasses in her hand? My logo is etched on there! Thanks to Martha the Wizard! Hmmmmm.... I guess she really is a wizard.......

Winnie the Witch just came into being, She wants to be awarded as a prize.

I wonder what two of my fave campers are cooking up here.

This is supposed to be a shot of the full moon....... not so good.

I confess..... I am technology challenged, but these are the brave souls leaving for the hayride. Too windy for me..

The rest of us stayed here at the fire. What is that smell? Hey, Fred, are your shoes hot? Patrick would appear to be warming his backside. Good idea.

I hope everyone had as much fun as I did.

All Hands On Deck!

Today is the big day! Party time. Preparations are still underway and excitement is in the air. Today is the day for the chili/salsa cook off. Oh, and it is Halloween.

Good smells are wafting through the air as each camper prepares their very best potions for the judging. I am preparing my appetite!

Scarecrow Sally has been licking her lips in anticipation. She wants candy........

Scarecrow Sammy is thinking about popcorn balls and peanuts......
No detail is too small. I even made Halloween curtains! Note the gourd birdhouses with frogs appliqued on them. The colors look like a Mexican flag.....the three amigos?

Even the stools got a makeover, thanks to my BCBE (best camping buddy ever), Deb.
BFF is way over used, don't you think?

So many ways to win a prize, a fabulous prize. Deb won't tell me how many are in the jar..... she thinks I might give the answer away with hints. I suppose that the thought would have crossed my mind....

The pumpkin patch is ready for campers to grab one and carve for yet another way to win a fabulous prize........ so long as you aren't afraid to walk through the graveyard ..... ahhhhh ha ha ha ha.........

Better hurry before night falls and the tenants of the graveyard begin to stir about. You've been warned....... watch your back........

Young and old alike have pitched in to help set up the tent and get the tables in place.
The tent is up, lights have been strung, the fire has been laid. Everyone has retreated to their campers to cook their offerings of the night. Love of my life is busy making his ghostly apparitions that overtake Spooky Forest tonight on the hayride. We will begin the festivities at 5. First we eat, then we tally the votes for prizes. After the hayride through Spooky Forest we will all return to the bonfire and warm up with some hot mulled apple cider and coffee.... and no doubt a little more dessert. Then it is BINGO! The weather is cooperating, sort of. The wind is so brisk that everything has been nailed down. We had to relocate the bonfire to higher ground due to the water left behind all the rain. I can improvise, though and all is well in my world today as I prepare to spend the evening with friends.

Happy Halloween!

Rain, Rain....GO AWAY!

The rain continues today, despite the fact that the forecast predicted a sunny day. They promised, promised,I tell you, that this day would be dry and sunny, although windy. There are puddles everywhere and the ground is spongy and makes suctioning noises when you walk on the grass. In some places the water rises up to grab your ankles and creep into your shoes. This is so wrong. How am I supposed to set up my graveyard?

I got up at 7:30 expecting wet ground, but not the steady rain that was accompanying the soggy terrain. Discouraged, the dogs peed quickly and scampered back to bed. I followed and slept the extra sleep that always makes you feel crappy. Got up to a steady drizzle that continues even now. My reservation, my ONE reservation, cancelled. I have a dull throbbing headache that could possibly be from too much coffee.

The sun is toying with me as it peeks out every now and again, only to hide behind a cloud again. In addition to planning this Halloween extravaganza I have been making preparation to travel to Georgia for my son's memorial service. I have gathered all my photos and memories together. It was a bittersweet task and I am emotionally prepared.

Traveling with three dogs is not a spur of the moment event. Not like I can toss my suitcase in the car and go, grabbing a motel room along the way and stay with family when I arrive. Not everybody is okay with animals in their house and I respect this. We used to have a 40' motor home. I had a second set of clothes and toiletries on board, so that a trip meant a trip to the grocery for our food and dog food and off we went. I miss that freedom, so while I have been housebound by rain I researched and shopped the web for a used smaller version of my house on wheels. I found one at a reliable(?) dealership in Kansas City. It was listed for $8900 and the ad claimed it to be in good condition having had a total systems check. The photos showed it to be very clean, if somewhat dated. It was at a Ford dealership, so we felt confidant that the ad was portraying it correctly. We called and offered $7500, cash. After a few calls back and forth we settled at $8000. We were prepared to pick it up last Monday, but the salesman said it would need to be detailed and he would contact us and let us know when it would be ready.

We were okay with that, The memorial service is Nov 21st, so I felt like I had time. So, on this rainy drab day we get an e-mail from this salesman, Clint, who had been the one that we came to a deal with. His e-mail said that due to the extensive repairs that needed to be done in order to make this vehicle be in good enough condition to sell, the asking price had gone up to $12,900!!!!!! Whether these repairs were to the body or the engine, it was totally misrepresented and I wouldn't buy it now on principal.

I am now back at square one on the trip preparation. I am thankful that I did not drive a six hour round trip to be disappointed. That doesn't help with my initial problem, though. It was obviously not meant to be and there is a much better deal waiting for me.

Our Halloween celebration will be an intimate affair of those campers that I know and love to be with. We will have a wonderful time anyway! We will have way too much food and so many prizes that everyone will win! We are erecting a tent to set up under, so rain if you must, we are a hardy group and will have fun any way!